2008 uncertainty self forgiveness

i forgive myself for accepting and allowingmyself to not see how i could make it on my own
i forgiv emyself for accepting and allowingmyself to not know what to do
i forgive myself for accepting andallowingmsyelf to think i must have some security like a place to stay, a job...
i forgiv meyself for accepting andallowingmyself to think i cant do anything of value in this world
i forgiv emyself for accepting andallowing myself to compare myself to bernard and think i could not do what he did on my own
i forgiv meyself for accepting andallowingmsyelf to think i am too scared of other humans to be able to do anything in this world
i forgiv emyself for accepting andallowingmyself to think i need a netwerk of people to be able to take care of myself
i forgiv emyself for accepting andallowignmsyelf to believe that i cant make contact with humans in a meaningful way
i forgiv emyself for accepting andallowing myself to think i need other humans and thus have to communicate with them
i forgiv emyself for accepting andallowingmyself to communicate with other humans from the startingpoint of thinking i need them so i fear of saying something that will cause me losing them
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to keep escaping in my fantasy and imagination to make me feel less alone
i forgiv emyself for not allowingmyself to realise that i am only fearing the idea of lonlyness i am fearing the idea of losing who i am
i forgiv emyself for having accepted andallowed myself to fear communicating with humans about living to gether or a plan or a suggestion because it might be self dishonest
i forgiv emyself for having accepted and allowed myself to fear proposing something to a group because they might decline and then they will see that i failed because my proposal wasnt approved of
i forgiv emyself for not allowingmyself to realise i am not dependant on what others say to what i say when i speak as me for me thru me as allas one as equal
i forgiv emyself for allowing and accepting myself to communicate with others based on expectancies
i forgiv emyself for allowing myself to think that communication is only worth it when people will seee my proposals as good and when they go into it
i forgiv emyself for allowingmyself to be dependant on what others say or do with what i say or do
i forgive myself for allowingmyself to judge it as negative and bad when people dont go into what i propose
i forgive myself for allowingmyself toseek for relief and help from others
i forgive myself for allowing myself to seek for support from others
i forgiv emyself for accepting andallowingmyself to want people to approve what i do or say
i forgive myself for accepting andallowingmyself to think i am dependant on what others might think or say about what i do or say
i forgiv emyself for accepting andallowingmyself to fear proposing something that involves other people because it might not be right or it might fail and then i am responsible
i forgiv emyself for accepting anda llowing myself to not want to be responsible for a possible failure
i forgive myself for accepting and allowignmyself to propose things based on future projections and expectations
i forgiv emyself for not accepting andallowing myself to realise that i am completely responsible for myself as all as one as equal, i am not responsible for consequences because there are no consequences if i have no expectations
i forgive myself for not allowingmyself to realise that bad things only happen in my mind as judgement as fear
i forgiv emyself fo raccepting andallowingmyself to fear people judging me as desparate
i forgive myself fo raccepting andallowingmsyelf to judge me as desparate because i search for a place to live and people to live with
i forgiv emyself for accepting andallowingmyself to think i am less than people when i ask them something or make them a proposal that they can decline
i forgiv emyself for accepting andallowingmyself to want people to go into my proposals
i forgiv emyself for accepting andallowingmsyelf to do things based on an idea with an outcome
i forgi vemyself for not allowingmyself to realise that there is no outcome, no goal, there s only here as me as who i am

till here and no further:
i am not dependant on anyone as who i am here as all as one as equal
i dont need to survive i dont have to worry about staying alive i dont have to fear others not supporting me
i dont need others to support me
i am support as life within myself
i am alone
always
here
as all as one as equal
i direct my world here as who i am as self direction of life as life within myself
as self control
i do not accept myself to be controlled by fear
i am not fear
fear isnt real
i donot need fear
i am here
that is it

i am breath