2008 superiority self forgiveness

"Thirdly, because ‘not being good enough’ judgment towards yourself exist within and as you, the polarity opposite as ‘better than’ exist within and as you. Now you have to specifically identify to whom and what you have compared yourself towards from which you constructed this belief within yourself that you are apparently ‘better than’.
Then from here, specifically apply self forgiveness for accepting and allowing you to ‘see yourself through the eyes of others, outside separate from you’ through comparison, accepting and allowing you to manifest a judgment towards yourself, which manifested the belief within you that you’re ‘better than’ and within this, accepting and allowing you to define yourself according to how you see you through the eyes of the mind consciousness system."


i often feel better than girls around my age, because i believe me to be smarter, more profound and deep. because i ve judged them all as being very superficial. i was actually always jealous, of their appearance, i judged myself as less because they seemed to be more...girly.
i wanted attention from boys and only way i knew how to do that was to act like a boy. i guess.
i felt less than men because i perceived them to be more profound than me, than woman in general. i always saw women as less.
i wanted and tryed to impress boys by acting as if i was smart and deep and better than the other girls because i thought that they would see me as one of them, not just a superficial girl. and they would respect me and i could feel strong. so everything girls did, i thought was stupid, especially pretty girls, because in truth i felt really jealous because actually i just wanted to be pretty but i never really gave myself to opportunity to open myself up to woman hood. i judged it as too weak. now when i read a girls post i get really jealous sometimes because i m thinking: this girl is pretty and smart and insightful, damn: what do i have to impress boys now?

somehow i really got to believing that i am just better than everyone, just so much better than, well, especially women. that i have had more profound experiences in my life.
when i speak about this beauty construct and how i was towards men and women i feel embarassed because now i m like exposed. and am no longer cool in what ever way. on forum i have a difficult time just letting go of judgement and reading unconditionally as me because i keep comparing myself especially to girls like ann and marlen and maite and leila ... sex construct based comparing. and for the rest i also compare with the other forum members but i always try to find a point that makes me better than that person in the eyes of boys. like 'yeah she might be really smart and insightful and ful of experience but she s old, or married or has kids. so i compete with every woman i see

i forgiv emyself fo rallowing myself to compete with every woman i see
i forgive myself for allowing myself to want to seem smart and insightful to attract men and boys
i forgive myself fo rallowing myself to be jealous of other women and girls because i judge them as smarter than me or prettier than me
i forgive myself for allowing myself to either want to be smarter or prettier than another woman
i forgiv emyself fo rallowing myself to want to better in one way or another than other girls so that boys and men will notice me more than her
i forgive myself for allowing myself to separate myself from girls by comparing myself as my picture expression to their picture expression
i forgive myself for allowing myself to want to have a more beautiful picture than other women to attrackt men more
i forgiv emyself forallowing myself to want to attrackt men more than other women
i forgi vmyself for allowing myself to compare myself to other women on what they do by trying to figure out if i would be able to do that
i forgive myself for allowing myself to feel jealous when i think i would not be able to do what other girls/women do
i forgive myself for wanting to be able to do what other women do so that i am equal or better than them so that i can attrack equal or more amount of attention from men
i forgivemyself for separating boys and men from myself by desiring them to notice me as a woman and feel attrackted by me
i forgiv emyself for allowing myself to want men to see and notice me as a special woman
i forgive myself for allowing myself to judge my appearance as ugly and feel jealous of other women for their looks
i forgiv emyself for allowing myself to want what other women have that would attrackt attention from men
i forgive myself for allowingmyself to believe that i am a woman in this society and i have to compare myself to other women to know what kind of woman i am, if i am a right woman
i forgive myself forallowing myself to believe that i must attrackt the attention of men by impressing them with what i say and do and how i look
i forgive myself forallowing myself to want to impress men with what i do, how i write etc
i forgiv emyself for allowing myself to want to feel better than other women
i forgivemyself for allowing myself to believe that i can t be one and equal to them because we are in battle for attention from men
i forgivemyself for allowing myself to not realise i am battling myself as separated parts of myself as how i havent yet accepted me to be
i forgive myself for allowing myself to want to be noticed
i forgiv emyself for allowing myself to compare myself with what others do on the forum so to know if i am doing alright
i forgiv emyself for allowing myself to want to fit into the group
i forgive myself for allowing myself to not take self responsability by expecting others to tell me how i am doing
i forgive myself fo rallowing myself to respect men more than women
i forgive myself for allowing myself to judge men as stronger more serious wiser more controlled
i forgive myself for allowinmg yself to judge women as weaker more instable less smart less insightful
i forgiv emyself for allowing myself to judge women as less than men
i forgiv emyself for lalowing myself to judge men as more than me
i forgiv emyself for allowing myself to judge women as less than me
i forgi vemyself for allowing myself to feel like i dont fit in
i forgive myself for allowin gmsyelf to want to fit in with all the other humans on the forum
i forgiv emyself for allowing myself to feel jealous for the expressions of other humans
i forgiv emyself forallowingmyself to cover up my feeling less than others by thinking i am wiser more profound smarter cooler
i forgive myself for allowing myself to judge humans based on their appearance
i forgive myself for allowing myself tojudge myself as less based on how my appearance compares with that of others
i forgiv emyself for allowing myself to feel ashamed about my appearance in the presence of boys and men because i judge my appearance as weird and abnormal
i forgiv emyself fo rallowing myself to judge others appearance as normal and think they are better than me for the way they look
i forgive myself for allowingmyself to wan t to look like other women and girls
i forgiv emyself forallowing myself to believe that other women and girls are better than me for the way they look
i forgiv emyself fo rlalowingm yself to fear being rejected for the way that i look
i forgiv emyself for lalowing myself to fear beings not respecting me for the way that i look
i forgivemyself for allowing myself to not respect beings for the way they look
i forgiv emyself for allowing myself to think i am less than beings for the way they look and then try to outsmart or outspecial them
i forgiv emyself fo rallowing myself to believe that i am special
i forgiv meyself fo rallowing msyelf to want to be special
i forgive myself for allowin gmyself to want to be noticed by boys as special
if orgi vemyself fo rallownmyself to feel jealous towards other women for judging them as special and beautiful
i forgive myself fo rallowign msyelf to want recognition from boys
i frogi vmeyeslf fo rlalowing myself to want to belong to a group of humans
i forgive myself for allowing myself to want those humans to notice me as special
i forgiv emyself fo rallowing myself to judge pretty girls as perfect
i forgivemyself for allowing myself to think that girls that are pretty are more than me
i forgiv emyself for not allowingm yself to realise that i am the only one separating humans from me based on appearances
i forgive myself for allowing myself to believe that i can only be if i am accepted for the way i look
i forgivemyself for not allowing myself to accept my self as my appearance
i forgive myself for allowing myself to hate the way that i look
i forgiv emyself fo rallowing myself to have hated others for the way that they looked
i forgiv emyself for having allowed myself to judge beautiful people as perfect and better than ugly people
i forgiv emyself for having adapted to how others judge the appearance of humans and think that all that matters is how i appear to be
i forgiv emyself fo rallowing myself to judge others based on how they appear to be and then feel less
i forgive myself for allowing myself to believe that women that i judge as pretty are better than me
i forgiv emyself for allowing myself to believe that if i dont get attention from men or boys i am worthless
i forgive myself for allowing myself to believe i need good looks to survive
i forigive myself for allowing myself to believe that humans that i judge as pretty are smarter , more talented, more intelligent, faster, more insightful than me
i forgiv emyself fo rallowing myself to judge myself as ugly and therefore think that i am less smart
less fast less talented less insightful
i forgive myself for allowing myself to think that what i am capable of depends on how my appearance is judged
i forgivemyself fo ralllowing myself to believe that others judge me as dumb and weird and ugly
i forgive myself for allowing myself to believe that i am better than others
i forgive myself for allowing myself to believe i am less than others
i forgivemyself for allowing msyelf to define myself according to the way i look and how it can be judged by the system
i forgiv emyself fo r not allowing msyelf to experience my body as one and equal to me as who i am
i forgiv emyself fo rallowing myself to treat my body as a picture and feel ashamed about it