donderdag 1 september 2011

2011 the point of no return

In the process of self realization, i have stated that i choose to give up my life to realize who I truly am and to stand as the truth, as oneness and equality, until eternity.
But I never actually really considered this statement in it’s entirety and what it actually implies. In a way there was always a ‘back door’ in the back of the mind that gave way to a ‘laziness’, a back door from where it was easy to slip back into habits as desires and fantasies, etc. this back door is there because I as the mind am so used to lying to myself, to stating/saying one thing and thinking/wanting/feeling another, within the belief that this is ‘ok’ because ‘I ve never had to really take anything that I say/do in this world seriously anyway’, lying is a generally accepted way of living for people.

Everybody lies for their own survival. We all take on this role/part that we play in this society. Some are ‘clergymen’ , others ‘guru’s’, teachers, ‘gods’, ‘supernatural beings’, mothers, fathers, children, partners, women, men, junior, senior, politician, pedophile, etc… it isn’t who we really are as a being that cannot just be defined like that, but it is the role that we take on and play within this world as a lie that we ‘sell’ of ourselves. So I am used to that, just taking on a rol, just like I’ve been given roles throughout my life by the people around me, so I m used to hiding my true self behind my words. I m used to stating things that I don’t really mean, that aren’t ‘serious’, that is just bullshit. I ve even been taught and motivated towards talking bullshit by my parents and grandparents, because everybody does it and you just wanna be ‘normal’. So obviously it’s completely ok to say shit that isn’t you, that doesn’t state you, who you are, that doesn’t state anything, it’s just blablabla.

Actually I m used to believing that my words aren’t who I am, my words are meaningless. So whatever I say, it’s meaningless, so I could say anything. So, when I state ‘I stand as oneness and equality, from now until eternity’, I ve never actually stood still by what I was saying, I was not aware of what that statement implies if actually practically lived out. Because I’m used to not standing one and equal to my words, to not living out the words I speak. I can say ‘I love all unconditionally’ or ‘I love you’ to my partner or my mother or friends, but on the inside I don’t even mean it, but as long as they don’t know/see that, all is fine. So I could keep hiding behind my words, keeping up/projecting a false reality towards my environment through the words I speak, the words that they hear.

I never actually realized though that the words I speak are coming out of my mouth, they are my expression, even when I think that they’re not ‘serious’ and ‘they don’t mean anything’ and when I believe that I am not affected when I tell a lie. These words I speak, whatever they are, is actually my statement of who I am in this reality of words, wherein human beings express themselves through words. And the statement of myself so far has been that of a liar, meaning someone who does not act on what she says, Someone who does not stand unwaveringly as the words that she speaks, Someone who can actually just ‘change her opinion’, someone who can be proven ‘wrong’. So if I can be proven wrong, surely my words aren’t a certainty, therefore as my words are an expression of who I am, i/my existence is not a certainty and I am uncertain of who I am and of whether I even exist.

This has been ‘fine’, because I’ve never woken up to the reality of what is going on in this world. Yet now I have woken up. And I see what is required to change this world. And now I actually have to mean what I say, I have to actually stand equal and one with the words I speak. So, when I say ‘I stand as oneness and equality as alone as life from here unto eternity’, this actually implies a practical living of those words as who I am as the words I speak. This is not just something I say like a priest quoting the bible, like just something I say when in church and around other people to give/project a certain image of myself, as what I’ve actually been doing my entire life. No, this is REAL, for the first time in my life, I am faced with the reality of my words, with the question of ‘do I stand as the words I speak or is it just a mask/lie?’ and the realization that this time, there is no back doors allowed, no ‘changing my mind’, no turning back. This is the point of no return, and it is here for all to make the final decision of who they are here in this reality. Will I stand as a lie or will I stand as the truth?


If you are ready to face yourself as the mind and write yourself to freedom, rebirthing yourself as a new being that in fact takes responsability for Life and can start acting in a way that will support the establishment of a New system for a New World, then join Desteni I Process and investigate Equal Money.

Thank you.

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1 opmerking:

Martijn de Graaf zei

cool realization and self application, thanks for sharing