1.1 Writing.
Trust with regards to my work - for instance today at work, in the morning someone was going to pick me up at my house. So I wasn’t sure if this person expected me to already go stand outside or wait for them to come knock my door (thought), so I waited inside. Then when I heard the person knocking and I opened the door, I was already putting on my ‘friendly face’(thought) to say ‘hi there’ and the first thing this person said was ‘so you’re going to make me come for you?!’, so immediately inside I reacted with the thought of ‘oh no, this person now has a bad impression of me (thought) and the fear arose of already being discredited on that even before I went there to perform my job (emotion), which was the fear of losing my job, getting fired because people don’t feel ‘pleased’ with my behavior (emotion). Then the emotion of anger (emotion) came up wherein I judged him as someone who apparently feels superior towards me (thought) as I also noticed that he was driving a very big expensive car – so I thought ‘he must be a rich prick who has no respect for cleaning ladies as he probably thinks they are ‘beneath him’’(thought), to justify the anger and resentment that I experienced within myself towards him because he had not supported my ego as the self-definition of ‘I am a good/nice/friendly person’ (thought) because he did not smile back or even say ‘hi’ when I opened my door and I even felt like he already criticized me (thought) by saying that ‘I am making him get out of his car’, while ‘I was just trying to do the right thing’(thought) as I am ‘trying to be a good person’ (thought), which is obviously ego as I am not really ‘trying to be good/nice/friendly’ for him/others as I always make myself believe, but that niceness/friendliness/goodness is to manipulate my environment, to make them feel good about me because ‘I am such a good/nice/friendly girl’ so that I would get what I want from them.
Then in the afternoon, I also found myself in a situation wherein I was working in a woman’s house and I didn’t get all the work done, so I wasn’t able to do what she had expected from me (thought) – so when she asked me if I had already cleaned all of the house, I felt fear (emotion) coming up when saying ‘no, I haven’t’ because I feared her judging me negatively and rejecting me because of not living up to her expectations (as what I believe she expects of me) (thought), thus not making her feel good about me (thought) – thus not being able to ‘ensure my future’(thought) through manipulation (by making my environment feel pleased with me to get them to want to support me). Therefore I felt insecurity/fear (emotion) because I didn’t know what she was now thinking about me, I wasn’t sure if maybe in her mind she was thinking that I am not a good cleaning lady (thought).
Often as well I tend to work really hard because I want them to be pleased with me (feeling), but then eventually I will still experience insecurity and doubt (emotion) within myself because I can never be sure what people are actually thinking about me (thought)– which is a result of having placed my trust/security outside of myself, wherein I then want to trust other people and my job, the money system, etc. but I can never be absolutely sure if I can in fact trust them because anything might happen and in the end the only thing I am able to trust is me because I know myself and I am always here – thus I always end up experiencing this insecurity/fear/anxiety (emotion) within myself as a fear of ‘losing my security (=job, money)’(thought/emotion), which is a fear of the future, fear of change(=fear of loss)(emotion)
A strong belief within myself with regards to trusting myself in a social context (especially around people I work for) is that I believe that I cannot just be myself and not consider what they think/want/expect of me to alter/adapt my expression(which is basically a point of wanting to manipulate my environment to get what I want/need to survive) because who knows that I might just say/do something and they might feel offended for some reason and will fire me.(thought)
1.2 Identify the thoughts that came up in your writing:
“What do people expect from me?” (“I have to think and worry about what people want from me to survive in this world”)
“I have to look friendly and act friendly to make people like me”
“oh no this person has a bad impression of me”
“People who have a lot of money (and drive expensive cars) look down on and feel superior towards cleaning ladies (as people who don’t earn a lot of money)”
“I am a good person because I smile and I try to be friendly to people”
“this person is criticizing me because he did not act friendly to me”
“I try to do the right thing and be a good person, therefore I am good and people should like me and be friendly to me”
“people expect things from me”
“People will reject me if I don’t live up to their expectations”
“I have to make people feel good/pleased with me by living up to their expectations”
“I have to ensure my future through pleasing people”
“if I lose my job and money I will lose my security”
“I cannot be myself because people will feel offended and reject me”
2. Laying-out the Thought-Construct
2.1 Thought of trust you’ll be working with:
“if I lose my job and money I will lose my security”
2.2 Other Components
2.2.1 Emotions and Feelings
2.2.1.1 Emotion: fear
2.2.1.2 Feelings: expectation
2.2.2 Words:
Security, safety, home, warmth
2.2.3 Pictures:
My work calling me and telling me that people are not satisfied with me and they’re going to fire me – where I react with the emotional experience of panic and fear for my future as the thought that ‘I don’t know what to do without my job’ – feeling as though the earth/ground has been pulled from under my feet – and eventually ending up on the streets, not being able to take care of myself without my job ( within the belief that I am not able to get a job or do anything by myself – I even feel like I ‘got lucky’ that I have this job because I didn’t expect this from me as I always believed that I am actually not capable of doing anything at all, so I hold onto this job within the belief that ‘it is all that I have’ and ‘I am lost/nothing without it’)
2.2.4 Memories
My dad talking to me in a worried manner when I had not showed up for my job – because he found it so important what the employer would think about me as I had not showed up for my job, so the ‘boss’ must be really displeased with me. So then I learned that what other people think about me is much more important than me myself – (self-image of ‘I have to please other people because what they think of me is more important than who I am here’), thus placing my security outside of myself in ‘other people’, a job and money – wherein I basically fear making my own decisions and being myself because I fear to displease other people
2.1 The Thoughts Work-Sheet
“If I lose my job and money I will lose my security”
2.2 Trigger point of the thought:
Being faced with my employer
2.3 Type of thought:
Thought of fear
2.4 Self-Forgiveness
2.4.1 Self-Forgiveness on the thought:
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that if I lose my job and money that I will lose my security
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the thought that if I lose my job and money I will lose my security to exist within myself in separation of myself – instead of realizing that this thought is me as it exist within myself
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that if I lose my job and money I will lose my security because that is what I have learned from my parents, especially my mother and because I believe that my mother knows best – instead of realizing myself as one and equal with my mother, within and as the realization that only an ego as the belief that I am special will desire and look for security outside of itself because I as an ego do not stand within and as self-certainty as life as who I really am
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to copy the thought that if I lose my job and money I will lose my security from my mother and her mother before her by having allowed myself to become an ego as the belief that I am special and that I need to survive as the consciousness system that I have become – instead of realizing that I am but a copy of my mother and all the previous generations through thoughts, feelings and emotions that I have allowed to be programmed into me and thus in no way special
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to identify myself with the thought that If I lose my job and money I will lose my security
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the thought that if I lose my job and money I will lose my security by giving my power away to it because I learned/copied it from my mother and because I have allowed myself to place my mother as superior to myself by believing that she knows best
I forgive myself for not allowing myself to stand one and equal with my mother and with the thought that if I lose my money and job I will lose my security so that I stand as the point of the security that I have always projected within my mother
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be directed by the thought that if I lose my money and job I will lose my security by suppressing my expression and trying to manipulate my employer to ensure that I will have a job and money in the future
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from money and from a job by believing that I need it to survive and by having allowed myself to become a mind consciousness system as ego as the belief that I am special – instead of realizing that I have never been special as I have in fact, through separating myself from all that is here as myself, become an inferior being that has become lost within creation as herself
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give my power away to money and having a job in this reality by having allowed the desire to survive to exist within myself, wherein I actually believe that I am special and unique and important – instead of realizing that I have never even really existed in the first place as I was simply living out the fears, desires and belief systems of my parents that I had copied from them
2.4.2 Self-Forgiveness on the trigger point of the thought:
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be triggered into thinking that if I lose my job and money I will lose my security when I am faced with my employer
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to automatically react to being faced with my employer with the thought that if I lose my job and money I will lose my security – instead of breathing through it within and as the realization that this is a preprogrammed construct that I have allowed to exist within myself by having allowed myself to place my trust in my parents and becoming just like them, thus this through construct and its trigger point is not who I really am as I am not a system
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the moment wherein I am faced with my employer to exist as a trigger point within myself for the thought that if I lose my money and job I will lose my security – instead of standing one and equal with the moment within and as the realization that it is in itself a moment that is here, and within the realization that by reacting to the moment or being triggered by the moment, I am going into the mind as self-interest wherein I actually use/consume the moment to satisfy my personal desires of surviving, when in reality I exist here in oneness and equality with and as each and every single moment here
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the moment of being faced with my employer with the thought that if I lose my money and job I will lose my security - wherein I use my employer within the ego of the mind wherein I believe that I am special and that everything that is here revolves around me – instead of realizing and seeing my employer as myself in oneness and equality and realizing that this reality and every being in it is my responsibility to direct into what is best for all life here and not within self-interest as the ego of the mind that only destroys life instead of support it
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from my employer and from the moment I am facing my employer by allowing it to exist as a trigger point for the thought that if I lose my money and job I will lose my security – wherein I then suppress myself to manipulate my employer to ensure my future and make sure that I will not lose my job, instead of realizing that I am only manipulating myself into not facing myself and getting lost in consciousness as the belief that life is survival as thoughts feelings and emotions as a preprogrammed system that is not in fact even real
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to manipulate my environment as my employer based on the belief/thought that if I lose my job and money I will lose my security, wherein I then try to get my environment to give me what I want and think I need like money and a job – instead of realizing that within using and abusing my environment for my personal survival, I am in fact denying myself life itself by not realizing myself as one and equal with each and every being that exist here and by not standing up within and as absolute self-responsibility as all as one as equal, taking responsibility for all as me that is here and gifting myself life within embracing all life that is here as me
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give my power away to my employer by allowing the moment of facing my employer to exist as a trigger point for the thought that if I lose my job and my money I will lose my security – and by identifying myself with this trigger point and this thought
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the connection between the moment of facing my employer and the thought that if I lose my job and money I will lose my security to exist within myself in separation of myself by having allowed myself to copy this construct from my parents and by having allowed myself to become a copy of my parents by trusting that they are superior and they know best
2.4.3 Self-Forgiveness on the type of thought:
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place my trust in having a job and money and to therefore try and attempt to control and manipulate my environment like my employer to give me what I want and think I need – instead of trusting myself in the realization that If I allow myself to trust a manifestation outside of myself, I am actually undermining myself and setting myself up for a big fall as I am only placing my trust in something that cannot be trusted because it is not eternally HERE with and as myself
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from myself by fearing myself and by fearing to be myself within and as self trust as self-honesty – and to therefore trust my environment like my job and money and the people who give me a job and money
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be a wimp by not wanting to take responsibility for myself by not trusting myself and rather trust my environment and the money system – wherein I have become just like my parents, hiding myself in fear of living/existing and trusting myself, compromising and betraying myself just to get money and a job as what I believe I need to be able to exist, instead of realizing that I am here, I exist here therefore it is absurd to limit myself to that extent and to not trust myself because I am in that simply wasting myself as life because of some fear that I simply copied from my parents that in essence has no real value or power
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear taking responsibility through defining myself with the thought that if I lose my job and money I will lose my security – by trusting the world systems that seemingly exist outside of myself and by not trusting myself, therein giving away myself as life to the mind consciousness system and allowing myself to be lived by having accepted myself as a slave of my parents/God – instead of realizing myself as one and equal with god and my parents and the word systems as I exist here, one and equal with and as all that is here, thus I am responsible for all that exist here as me and I am responsible for directing reality as what is here as myself within and as what is best for all life as myself here
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire manipulating and controlling my environment to get what I want and believe I need according to the belief systems that I have copied from my parents like the belief that if I lose my job and money I will lose my security – instead of realizing that I am only manipulating and controlling myself by not being honest with myself and by betraying myself by giving value to having money and a job and by compromising myself to get money and a job
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to rely on my mind to tell me what to do according to what I learned from my parents about who I am and what life is all about – wherein I believe that I need money and a job to experience security in this reality and I must compromise myself and do whatever I must to get and keep money and a job , which is apparently ‘doing the right thing’ and ‘obeying the rules’– instead of realizing that there is no actual right or wrong within and as who I really am as life itself, because right and wrong only exist within the selfishness of the mind as the belief that I am a slave of god/my parents, in self-honesty there only exist what is best for all as self-honesty and what is not best for all as self-dishonesty, wherein what is best for all as self-honesty can only exist in self-trust
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear losing my job and my money because I fear change
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to rely on my memories to tell me what to do as what I experienced towards my parents when they spoke to me about needing a job and money and memories of feeling lost in this world when standing alone, therein accumulating a fear of being alone in this world and a desire to experience safety and security within having money and a job – instead of realizing myself as one and equal with my memories and thus standing one and equal with and as the point of safety and security within and as the realization that all is here as me in oneness and equality
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear myself as my inner experience of reality and to therefore place my trust in money and having a job as what I want to use to escape from taking responsibility for directing my life effectively – therein allowing the thought that if I lose my job and money I will lose my security to exist within myself
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the thought that if I lose my job and money I will lose my security with a fear of myself
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect having a job and money to having worth and value in this world – and to believe that if I were to lose my job and if they were to fire me, I would lose my self-value and worth and I would become worthless – as a belief that I have copied from my family through defining myself according to memories of my parents judging people that don’t work as ‘less’ and ‘inferior’ – instead of realizing that these judgments that my parents placed over others came from their parents and so on, as they have nothing to do with reality and are completely based on ignorance and selfishness wherein how reality really works is not being considered and wherein they believe that their judgments and thoughts about reality is superior
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the emotional experience of worthlessness if I were to be fired and lose my job, based on the thought that having a job defines and determines my worth in this world
I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to copy the idea and belief and thought that having a job determines my worth and value in this world from my parents and to identify myself with this thought/belief by placing my trust in my parents and thus believing everything that they ever told me to be ‘the truth’ – instead of applying common sense and realizing that to believe that the value of life is determined through working and money is coming from a self-definition of being a slave and inferior being that apparently has to work to ‘prove its value’ like a slave, which is not who I am as I am here as life itself thus I am god as the point of responsibility for all that is here as myself
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to control and manipulate my environment to keep my job because I fear experiencing myself as worthless if they were to fire me because I have allowed myself to connect being fired and not having a job to being worthless and the emotional experience of worthlessness based on beliefs, ideas and statements that my parents and grandparents made when I was a child about people that don’t work, wherein I feared being judged and looked down on by my family because I had allowed myself to define myself with my family and thus wanted their respect and approval to feel like I am ‘worthy of existing’ – instead of realizing myself as existence myself and not just a small separate part that is a slave to all other ‘parts’ that are in fact myself
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place my trust in the ‘rules’ of this world that I have copied and learned from my parents that will apparently keep me safe and will make sure that I always have money – wherein I exist within and as the desire to ‘do the right thing’ according to these rules of ‘behavior’, trusting and believing that I will have and get what I want/need in this world – instead of realizing that this ‘desire to do/be good and follow the rules’ is a very selfish desire wherein I only consider my personal desires to survive and have a good life in this world, not realizing myself as HERE as responsible for standing one and equal with this world as myself and directing it within and as what is best for all life that exist here.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize that ‘following the rules’ and ‘trying to be a good person’ and ‘trying to do the right thing’, is in fact not as ‘righteous’ as how it always felt because it is in fact only from a very selfish starting point wherein I only consider me as an individual and the survival of ‘my soul’ within the belief that I am superior and special and that it is so enormously important that I stay alive, instead of realizing that I have never actually lived in the first place as I have compromised myself so much that I have even long forgotten who I am and became lost in self-interest
I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to ‘simply do my job’ and within that never question what I am doing or consider the impact of my actions on other beings as I am so obsessed with my own future, just wanting to obey and follow the rules and ‘be a good person’ and ‘do the right thing’ – just like my employers and the company that I work for do not consider me in the decisions that they make and thus can easily fire me, leaving me with no means to take care of myself – instead of placing myself in the shoes of my employers and realizing myself as one and equal with them, and therefore responsible for standing up and directing all as me within and as what is best for all as me
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize that by only considering my self-interest and my future in the decisions that I make in this reality, based on my personal fears and thought of ‘if I lose my job and money I will lose my security’ – I have supported and allowed a world to exist wherein every being is only considering their self-interest and future within ‘trying to do the right thing’ and no one ever truly cares or considers another being
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize that by placing my trust in ‘the rules’ of this world within ‘trying to be a good person and do the right thing’ – I was always only perpetuating a ruthless system wherein nobody cares about anybody or anything as everyone is too busy fending for themselves and being ‘ a good person’ in the eyes of god/the system, not actually seeing what they are doing by simply ‘trusting and following the rules’ within the belief that ‘the rules know best’ – just like I have always trusted my parents within the belief that ‘my parents know best’
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize that by every human wanting to be good in the eyes of god and the system, I as humanity have allowed a system to exist wherein human beings don’t realize what they’re doing, and where they kill and murder each other and become the devil that roams the earth – by not standing up and taking responsibility for earth as the god that I am, thus self-responsible for determining and directing earth as life according to what is best for all
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize that if I place my trust in another they will betray and deceive me, equal and one with my starting point of betraying and deceiving myself by not trusting myself
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry with other people for betraying me when they fire me, not realizing that I betrayed myself within the very starting point of trusting them in the first place – and therefore, I am responsible and cannot blame them for feeling betrayed
2.5 Self-Corrective Statements
2.5.1 Thought’s Self-Corrective Statements:
2.5.1.1 Identify Self realisations to be lived
I realize that this thought is me as it exist within myself
I realize myself as one and equal with my mother, within and as the realization that only an ego as the belief that I am special will desire and look for security outside of itself because I as an ego do not stand within and as self-certainty as life as who I really am
I realize that I have allowed myself to become but a copy of my mother and all the previous generations through thoughts, feelings and emotions that I have allowed to be programmed into me and thus in no way am I special
I stand one and equal with my mother and with the thought that if I lose my money and job I will lose my security so I stand as the point of the security that I have always projected within my mother
I realize that I have never been special as I have in fact, through separating myself from all that is here as myself, become an inferior being that has become lost within creation as herself
I realize that I have never even really existed in the first place as I was simply living out the fears, desires and belief systems of my parents that I had copied from them
2.5.1.2 Write a practical Self-Script when the thought comes up again
If and when the thought comes up that if I lose my job and money I will lose my security – I stand and breath through it within the realization that this thought does not have power over me as I am one and equal with it and because I realize that this thought is a construct that I have copied from my mother as the ‘mother matrix survival system’ based on separation as the mind consciousness system
If and when the thought that if I lose my job and money I will lose my security comes up – I breathe through it and I realize that I am not defined by this thought because this thought is a mind consciousness system construct that only supports ego as separation and because I realize that I am not a mind consciousness system – I am life as oneness and equality
And I stand up as life – and stand constant and stable here, within and as the expression of myself as life, within and as the realization that listening to thoughts as the mind to ‘survive’ is not actually living
2.5.2 Trigger point of the thought’s Self-Corrective Statements:
2.5.2.1 Identify Self realisations to be lived
I breathe through the thought that if I lose my job and money I will lose my security that comes up when facing my employer, within and as the realization that this is a preprogrammed construct that I have allowed to exist within myself by having allowed myself to place my trust in my parents and becoming just like them, thus this thought construct and its trigger point is not who I really am as I am not a system
I realize and see my employer as myself in oneness and equality and realize that this reality and every being in it is my responsibility to direct into what is best for all life here and not within self-interest as the ego of the mind that only destroys life instead of support it
I stand one and equal with the moment of facing my employer within and as the realization that it is in itself a moment that is here, and within the realization that by reacting to the moment or being triggered by the moment into thinking that if I lose my job and money I will lose my security, I am going into the mind as self-interest wherein I actually use/consume the moment to satisfy my personal desires of surviving, when in reality I exist here in oneness and equality with and as each and every single moment here and I am the directive principle of what is here within and as myself as the living statement of life as who I really am as oneness and equality – supporting and considering all life as me in each and every singular moment
I realize that I am only manipulating myself into not facing myself and getting lost in consciousness as the belief that life is survival as thoughts feelings and emotions as a preprogrammed system that is not in fact even real – by attempting to manipulate my employer in separation of myself into supporting me and not firing me
I realize that within using and abusing my environment for my personal survival, I am in fact denying myself life itself by not realizing myself as one and equal with each and every being that exist here and by not standing up within and as absolute self-responsibility as all as one as equal, taking responsibility for all as me that is here and gifting myself life within embracing all life that is here as me
2.5.2.2 Write a practical Self-Script when the trigger point comes up again
If and when I see the trigger point of the thought that if I lose my job and money I will lose my security coming up as the moment of facing my employer – I breathe through it and I do not allow myself to be directed by this thought because I realize that this is a thought construct that I have copied from my parents by having allowed myself to become a mind consciousness system as a system of survival, thus it is a program and not who I really am as life
If and when I see the trigger point of the thought that if I lose my job and money I will lose my security coming up – I breathe through it and stand constant and stable within myself within and as the realization that I am here, one and equal with my employer and I do not allow myself to go into the mind as selfishness as the belief that I am special and must survive
I stand here within and as the moment within and as oneness and equality and I direct myself within and as oneness and equality within and as the realization that in each and every moment of breath I am responsible for directing this reality as myself within and as what is best for all as myself
I stand one and equal with my employer and with the moment of facing my employer
And I stand one and equal with the thought construct of being triggered into thinking that if I lose my job and money I will lose my security by facing my employer
2.5.3 Type of thought’s Self-Corrective Statements:
2.5.2.1 Identify Self realisations to be lived
I trust myself in the realization that If I allow myself to trust a manifestation outside of myself, I am actually undermining myself and setting myself up for a big fall as I am only placing my trust in something that cannot be trusted because it is not eternally HERE with and as myself
I realize that I am here, I exist here therefore it is absurd to limit myself to that extent and to not trust myself because I am in that simply wasting myself as life because of some fear that I simply copied from my parents that in essence has no real value or power
I realize myself as one and equal with god and my parents and the word systems as I exist here, one and equal with and as all that is here, thus I am responsible for all that exist here as me and I am responsible for directing reality as what is here as myself within and as what is best for all life as myself here
I realize that I am only manipulating and controlling myself by not being honest with myself and by betraying myself by giving value to having money and a job and by compromising myself to get money and a job
I realize that there is no actual right or wrong within and as who I really am as life itself, because right and wrong only exist within the selfishness of the mind as the belief that I am a slave of god/my parents, in self-honesty there only exist what is best for all as self-honesty and what is not best for all as self-dishonesty, wherein what is best for all as self-honesty can only exist in self-trust
And I realize that the only reason why I believed in ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ is because I never realized what is best for all life as I never realized myself as life – as I had allowed myself to become lost within and as consciousness as separation, thus separating myself from myself as life and not knowing anymore who I am or what is real
I realize myself as one and equal with my memories and thus stand one and equal with and as the point of safety and security within and as the realization that all is here as me in oneness and equality
I realize that these judgments that my parents placed over others came from their parents and so on, as they have nothing to do with reality and are completely based on ignorance and selfishness wherein how reality really works is not being considered and wherein they believe that their judgments and thoughts about reality is superior
I apply common sense and realize that to believe that the value of life is determined through working and money is coming from a self-definition of being a slave and inferior being that apparently has to work to ‘prove its value’ like a slave, which is not who I am as I am here as life itself thus I am god as the point of responsibility for all that is here as myself
I realize myself as existence itself and not just a small separate part that is a slave to all other ‘parts’ that are in fact myself
I realize that this ‘desire to do/be good and follow the rules’ is a very selfish desire wherein I only consider my personal desires to survive and have a good life in this world, not realizing myself as HERE as responsible for standing one and equal with this world and directing it within and as what is best for all life that exist here.
i realize that ‘following the rules’ and ‘trying to be a good person’ and ‘trying to do the right thing’, is in fact not as ‘righteous’ as how it always felt because it is in fact only from a very selfish starting point wherein I only consider me as an individual and the survival of ‘my soul’ within the belief that I am superior and special and that it is so enormously important that I stay alive and I realize that I have never actually lived in the first place as I have compromised myself so much that I have even long forgotten who I am and became lost in self-interest
I place myself in the shoes of my employers and realize myself as one and equal with them, and therefore responsible for standing up and directing all as me within and as what is best for all as me
I realize that by only considering my self-interest and my future in the decisions that I make in this reality, based on my personal fears and thought of ‘if I lose my job and money I will lose my security’ – I have supported and allowed a world to exist wherein every being is only considering their self-interest and future within ‘trying to do the right thing’ and no one ever truly cares or considers another being
I realize that by every human wanting to be good in the eyes of god and the system, I as humanity have allowed a system to exist wherein human beings don’t realize what they’re doing, and where they kill and murder each other and become the devil that roams the earth – by not standing up and taking responsibility for earth as the god that I am, thus self-responsible for determining and directing earth as life according to what is best for all and not what is ‘right’ and ‘wrong’
i realize that if I place my trust in another they will betray and deceive me, equal and one with my starting point of betraying and deceiving myself by not trusting myself
I realize that I betrayed myself within the very starting point of trusting my family and my employers in the first place – and therefore, I am responsible and cannot blame them for feeling betrayed
2.5.2.2 Write a practical Self-Script when the type of thought comes up again
If and when I see myself trusting my job and money, thinking that if I lose my job and money I will lose my security, I stop within myself and bring myself back here within and as the realization that when I place my trust outside of myself, it is a sign that I am actually not willing to take responsibility for myself here and that I do not want to stand as life and within the realization that placing my trust outside of myself is from and within the ego as the desire to survive – thus I bring myself here within and as this moment as breath to stand one and equal with and as the moment here, within and as the realization that there is nothing but me here within and as the moment
If and when I see myself trusting my employer within the belief that they must give me what I need to live – I stop within myself and stand up within and as the realization that this belief exist within ego as the belief that I am special and must survive – though who I really am as life is HERE, I need, desire and require nothing, because I am the living, breathing statement of life itself, one and equal with my employer, with all that exist here – I do not exist in the future, I exist here, one and equal with future and past – thus I stand constant and stable and do not allow myself to be influenced and directed by the thought that if I lose my job and money I will lose my security as I stand within and as the point of security as who I am as the living statement of oneness and equality as that which is best for all life here.
2.2.1 The Emotion or Feeling Work-Sheet
Fear
2.2.2 Specific type/’shade’ of emotion/feeling:
Fear of change
2.2.3 Reason for connecting thought to emotion/feeling:
The belief that I cannot trust myself ‘in the future’ and that I wouldn’t be able to handle loss in my life because that would imply change and I believe that I cannot support myself and trust myself because I feel like I don’t know anything about this world as all that I know I have learned from my mother – thus I feel like I am ‘fucked’ if I were to stand alone in this reality, having to survive. Because all my ‘survival skills’ come from the mother matrix system as what I’ve learned and copied from my mother. Thus the belief that I must survive at all costs, and therefore need ‘security’ as an outside manifestation that I can trust to support me in my survival like money and a job
2.2.4 Self-Forgiveness
2.2.4.1 Self-Forgiveness on emotion/feeling:
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience fear
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate fear from myself by allowing myself to be directed by it and by fearing the experience of that fear – instead of realizing that the fear exist within myself, therefore it is myself and thus nothing to be feared because to fear the fear would be to be self-dishonest and in denial of who I am here as oneness and equality
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself according to this experience of fear by allowing myself to be directed by it by fearing the fear – instead of realizing that this fear has no power over me because it is just an energetic experience that I have allowed to exist within myself that will simply come and go, so it is not even real
I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to give my power away to the emotional experience of fear by separating myself from it and by fearing the emotional experience of fear by abdicating my responsibility towards the experience of myself here and by attempting to run from the experience of myself here as if it is not my own creation as what I have allowed to exist within myself through my participation in the mind as separation – instead of taking responsibility for myself within and as the realization that I am here and I am responsible for myself here and there is no escape from myself because I am simply always here with and as myself as the experience of myself here, thus I am one and equal with the emotional experience of fear though not a slave to it or directed by it
I forgive myself for having allowed fear to exist within myself in separation of myself and to allow fear to direct me within my expression and every decision that I make by having allowed myself to be programmed as a consciousness system as the belief that I am special and must survive at all costs and must thus trust this fear that I experience within myself that is apparently existing within myself to ‘keep me safe’ and to ‘protect me’ and ‘assist me in my survival in this world’ to make sure that I will at all times do whatever it takes to survive – instead of realizing that this consciousness system as the desire to survive and the belief that my personal survival as an apparent separate entity is the most important thing in existence is not even actually real and is not who I really am as it is all based on belief systems that I copied from my parents and not on reality as the realization that all that is actually real and all that I am and can be is what is here as existence and that I have actually never been real as I have never even lived as life as one and equal with what exist here because I was always too afraid of living and expressing myself because I was afraid of not surviving
2.2.4.2 Self-Forgiveness on type/’shade’ of emotion/feeling:
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience fear of change in separation of myself by giving my power away to it and allowing it to direct me through defining myself with it – instead of realizing that this fear of change is based on belief systems and images in my mind that I have built up within myself based on what I copied from my parents as all sorts of fears towards ‘reality’ as ‘the world’ and ‘what might happen to me in the world that is apparently really bad’ and that I should apparently avoid
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing fear of change to exist within myself in separation of myself by allowing myself to be influenced and directed by it – instead of standing stable and constant within and as myself as the living expression of who I am in each and every moment as oneness and equality and thus as the realization that within and as who I am as all as one as equal, change is impossible because all is here as me
I forgive myself for not allowing myself to realize myself as one and equal with fear of change as a construct that I have copied from my parents that cause me to hold on to the past, to patterns and habits and not take risks or expand myself in my application in this reality – by having allowed myself to separate myself from my parents and from fear of change through believing that I am unique and special as the mind consciousness system that I have allowed myself to become
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself within fear of change by not having allowed myself to realize myself as one and equal with my parents and by not having allowed myself to realize that the experience of myself is but a copy of my parents as a personality-construct that I have built up through and within reacting to my environment throughout my life-time, thus the fear of change is not ‘who I am’ and it does not have power over me because I am one and equal with fear of change
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear change by having defined myself within my past as habits, patterns and experiences based on memories and by fearing to lose myself if my life were to change and if I thus could not participate anymore in the habits, patterns and actions that I have always used to generate certain energetic experiences within myself that I have defined myself with – instead of realizing myself as here as oneness and equality, constant and stable in and as the living expression of life itself as who I am as the self-directive principle of myself as life and not a slave to emotional experiences and reactions and thoughts as separation
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize how limited my life experience has always been because I had allowed myself to be directed by fear of change, wherein I never allowed myself to expand my application in this reality, and I never explored or investigated myself as reality as I remained stuck like a rat on a wheel in a cage, always experiencing exactly the same energetic experiences through doing always the same things – actually believing that that is ‘who I really am’ and that I thus have to always remain that way – instead of realizing myself as the self-directed principle of life and realizing that how I had always been ‘existing’ and ‘living’ was like a slave to the program of the mind as thoughts, feelings and emotions wherein I allowed myself to be lived instead of standing up as life itself as the realization that ‘I am here thus I am life’
I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to copy the fear of change from my parents and my grandparents, as the desperately holding onto a specific life-style and personality and way of doing things and ‘likes’ and ‘dislikes’, thus keeping myself in a prison of the mind wherein I never experience anything but what I have constructed myself through reacting to my parents and grandparents, within the belief that I am superior and that my inner experiences and thus my past and memories are real and are ‘reality’ – instead of realizing that I have never been more than a system in a generation of systems, just a copy of my parents, stuck in a one-dimensional view point just like them, never actually seeing, experiencing what reality actually is and who I really am
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear change within the belief that I am superior and that my inner experiences and the way that I live my life and the things that I do is special, unique and superior – thus fearing the ‘death’ of me as an identity/personality as the ego of the mind if my environment were to change and if I thus could no longer participate in the apparently superior thoughts, feelings and emotions as the ego of the mind that I have defined myself as
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize that within fearing change, I am actually fearing myself as what exist within myself and what I would face about myself if I were to stop the ego of the mind as thoughts feelings and emotions through stopping habits, patterns and addictions – I fear taking responsibility for myself and facing myself, thus I will rather hide in fearing change and allowing myself to be directed by fear of change, to make sure that I remain stuck and imprisoned in the one-dimensional pre-programmed experience of the mind
2.3.4.3 Self-Forgiveness on connecting thought with emotion/feeling:
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the thought that if I lose my job and money I will lose my security to the emotional experience of fear
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the connection between the thought that If I lose my job and money I will lose my security and the emotional experience of fear to exist within myself in separation of myself
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself within the connection between the thought that if I lose my money and job I will lose my security – instead of realizing that this construct exist within myself thus it is one and equal with myself as it is myself, therefore it cannot control, or define me, thus the experience of this thought construct having power over me is an illusion that I have allowed myself to create and participate in
I forgive myself for allowing myself to separate myself from the connection between the thought that if I lose my job and money I will lose my security and the emotional experience of fear through allowing it to direct and define me and by not taking responsibility for the existence of this construct within myself by blaming my parents for having ‘programmed it into me’ – instead of realizing that I am the one that allowed my parents to program me and I was the one who blindly copied my parents fears because I didn’t trust myself and I gave my trust and power away to my parents
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abdicate my responsibility towards the connection between the thought that if I lose my job and money I will lose my security and the emotional experience of fear by allowing it to have power over me and blaming my parents for experiencing this construct within myself and experiencing myself as this construct as the mind consciousness system – instead of taking responsibility for myself as the experience within myself as what I have allowed to exist within myself through my participation in the mind as separation, within and as the realization that I have allowed myself to separate myself from myself as my parents
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the thought that if I lose my job and money I will lose my security with the emotional experience of fear by believing that I must survive at all costs as a belief that I copied from my parents and by believing that I thus need this thought-fear construct to protect me and keep me safe from ‘what could possibly happen in this world that I might not be able to handle if my life were to change’
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the thought that if I lose my job and money I will lose my security with the emotional experience of fear by believing that I wouldn’t be able to handle change because I have allowed myself to trust my environment and therefore define my security and safety within my environment – thus having allowed myself to construct a ‘self-image’ and ‘personality’ as a sense of ‘who I am’ based on certain places, people and actions that I then always have to repeat and hold on to, to apparently be able to ‘be myself’ as that ‘personality construct’ – instead of realizing myself as self trust, security and safety as the living expression of myself as life and realizing that the belief that I need my environment to exist is based on the belief that I must survive within and as a personality as a conglomeration of survival techniques that I copied from my mother and is not who I really am
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself within the survival techniques that I learned and copied from my mother, based on the belief that I must survive in this reality and that I must compromise myself and do whatever it takes to simply survive in this world and therein connecting the thought that if I lose my job and money I will lose my security with the emotional experience of fear by trusting the emotional experience of fear to ‘guide’ me in this world to make sure that I will always survive at whatever cost – instead of realizing that existing within and as constant and continuous self compromising is not actual living/life, as I am only living out a belief system that I copied from my mother, thus existing as a programmed robot that isn’t actually life/living and instead of realizing that death is in fact a natural part of life as existence, therefore it is absurd and un common sensical to fight death and try to ‘stay alive’ by not allowing myself to enjoy myself as life here within and as unconditional self expression within and as each moment
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize that the belief and feeling that I have to stay alive at whatever costs and that I have to compromise myself in order to simply survive in this reality is not real and it is not who I am because it is but a belief system that I simply copied from my parents and accepted as ‘the truth’ and ‘real’ without applying common sense or investigating reality for myself by having allowed myself to exist within and as gullibility within and as the belief that I am a slave of god and thus believing that ‘God’ wants me to fight for my survival in this world and if I don’t do what God wants me to do I will go to hell
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to apply common sense within looking inside of myself at the belief systems that I have allowed to exist within myself and that I have always based my life on – and therefore not realize that the belief that god wants me to fight other beings for my survival in this world doesn’t make any sense because all that exist is God because god is everything that exist so it doesn’t make sense that God would want his creation to fight and destroy itself – unless god is being self-dishonest and only looking for the experience of power which makes him a fake god that does not take any responsibility for his creation at all
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to stand up as the point of god within and as taking responsibility for all of existence, within and as the realization that I am god because god is everything thus I am everything as god equal and one – by having allowed myself to separate myself from myself as god and from myself as creation – thus allowing myself to exist within and as separation and abdicating all responsibility for creation as me and experiencing myself as a slave to all that exist by not accepting myself as one and equal with and as all that exist
2.2.5 Self-Corrective Statements
2.2.5.1 Emotions / Feelings' Self-Corrective Statements:
2.2.5.1.1 Identify Self realisations to be lived
I realize that the fear exist within myself, therefore it is myself and thus nothing to be feared because to fear the fear would be to be self-dishonest and in denial of who I am here as oneness and equality
I realize that this fear has no power over me because it is just an energetic experience that I have allowed to exist within myself that will simply come and go, so it is not even real
I take responsibility for myself within and as the realization that I am here and I am responsible for myself here and there is no escape from myself because I am simply always here with and as myself as the experience of myself here, thus I am one and equal with the emotional experience of fear though not a slave to it or directed by it
I realize that this consciousness system as the desire to survive and the belief that my personal survival as an apparent separate entity is the most important thing in existence is not even actually real and is not who I really am as it is all based on belief systems that I copied from my parents and not on reality as the realization that all that is actually real and all that I am and can be is what is here as existence and that I have actually never been real as I have never even lived as life as one and equal with what exist here because I was always too afraid of living and expressing myself because I was afraid of not surviving
I realize myself as self trust, security and safety as the living expression of myself as life and realize that the belief that I need my environment to exist is based on the belief that I must survive within and as a personality as a conglomeration of survival techniques that I copied from my mother and is not who I really am
I realize that existing within and as constant and continuous self compromising is not actual living/life, as I am only living out a belief system that I copied from my mother, thus existing as a programmed robot that isn’t actually life/living and I realize that death is in fact a natural part of life as existence, therefore it is absurd and un common sensical to fight death and try to ‘stay alive’ by not allowing myself to enjoy myself as life here within and as unconditional self expression within and as each moment
i realize that the belief and feeling that I have to stay alive at whatever costs and that I have to compromise myself in order to simply survive in this reality is not real and it is not who I am because it is but a belief system that I simply copied from my parents and accepted as ‘the truth’ and ‘real’ without applying common sense or investigating reality for myself by having allowed myself to exist within and as gullibility within and as the belief that I am a slave of god and thus believing that ‘God’ wants me to fight for my survival in this world and if I don’t do what God wants me to do I will go to hell
i apply common sense within looking inside of myself at the belief systems that I have allowed to exist within myself and that I have always based my life on – and therefore haven’t realized that the belief that god wants me to fight other beings for my survival in this world doesn’t make any sense because all that exist is God because god is everything that exist so it doesn’t make sense that God would want his creation to fight and destroy itself – unless god is being self-dishonest and only looking for the experience of power which makes him a fake god that does not take any responsibility for his creation at all
i stand up as the point of god within and as taking responsibility for all of existence, within and as the realization that I am god because god is everything thus I am everything as god equal and one – and I realize that by having allowed myself to separate myself from myself as god and from myself as creation , I have allowed myself to exist within and as separation, abdicating all responsibility for creation as me and experiencing myself as a slave to all that exist by not accepting myself as one and equal with and as all that exist
2.2.5.1.2 Write a practical Self-Script when the emotion / feeling comes up again
If and when I see and experience the emotional experience of fear coming up within myself, I stop and breathe and I do not allow myself to define and identify myself with this emotional experience and I stand constant and stable within and as the realization that I copied this experience of fear, that is based on the belief that I must survive at all cost and that I must, guided by this fear, compromise myself in the moment that the fear comes up within myself in order to survive, from my parents and that it is not who I really am – because I stand up as life as the self-directive principle of life as oneness and equality as the living statement of who I am, as I am not a robot, a program or a slave of my parents as ‘their clone’
If and when the emotional experience of fear comes up within myself, I breathe through it and I do not allow it to direct me in my expression in this reality – because I realize that this is not who I really am as I do not allow myself to be a slave to a copied emotional experience – I allow myself to stand up as myself, constant and stable, one and equal with the emotional experience of fear as I realize myself HERE, as the moment itself wherein no future or past exist and thus no survival exist – because I realize that I am not important or special and that the belief that I must survive at all costs is but a belief system that I have copied from my parents, though isn’t actually real
2.2.5.2 Specific type of shade emotions / feelings Self-Corrective Statements:
2.2.5.2.1 Identify Self realisations to be lived
I realize that this fear of change is based on belief systems and images in my mind that I have built up within myself based on what I copied from my parents as all sorts of fears towards ‘reality’ as ‘the world’ and ‘what might happen to me in the world that is apparently really bad’ and that I should apparently avoid
I stand stable and constant within and as myself as the living expression of who I am in each and every moment as oneness and equality and thus as the realization that within and as who I am as all as one as equal, change is impossible because all is here as me
I realize myself as one and equal with fear of change as a construct that I have copied from my parents that cause me to hold on to the past, to patterns and habits and not take risks or expand myself in my application in this reality – by having allowed myself to separate myself from my parents and from fear of change through believing that I am unique and special as the mind consciousness system that I have allowed myself to become
I realize myself as here as oneness and equality, constant and stable in and as the living expression of life itself as who I am as the self-directive principle of myself as life and not a slave to emotional experiences and reactions and thoughts as separation
I realize myself as the self-directed principle of life and realizing that how I had always been ‘existing’ and ‘living’ was like a slave to the program of the mind as thoughts, feelings and emotions wherein I allowed myself to be lived instead of standing up as life itself as the realization that ‘I am here thus I am life’
I realize that I have never been more than a system in a generation of systems, just a copy of my parents, stuck in a one-dimensional view point just like them, never actually seeing, experiencing what reality actually is and who I really am
i realize that within fearing change, I am actually fearing myself as what exist within myself and what I would face about myself if I were to stop the ego of the mind as thoughts feelings and emotions through stopping habits, patterns and addictions – I fear taking responsibility for myself and facing myself, thus I will rather hide in fearing change and allowing myself to be directed by fear of change, to make sure that I remain stuck and imprisoned in the one-dimensional pre-programmed experience of the mind
2.2.5.2.3 Write a practical Self-Script when the type of shade of emotion / feeling comes up again.
If and when I see the fear of change coming up within myself – I stop within myself and breathe through it, remaining constant and stable within and as myself within and as the realization that fear of change implies that I am not willing to let go of the past as the personality that I have allowed myself to become as patterns, memories and habits as who I have always believed myself to be as the mind as thoughts, feelings and emotions – so in that moment I stand within and as the realization that I am not the mind as past and future as thoughts, feelings and emotions, I am the directive principle of life and I direct myself to stand as life in each moment unconditionally, standing in and as oneness and equality
If and when I see and experience fear of change coming up within myself – I do not allow myself to define myself with it or be directed by it, but I allow it to pass through me, while I breathe through it, standing constant and stable within and as myself within and as the realization that I am one and equal with fear of change but not defined by it because fear of change is a construct that I have copied from my parents and it is an technique of the ego of the mind to protect and preserve itself whenever it stands face to face with the possibility that it might lose something that it has defined itself with and thus needs to ‘exist’ as an energy system that is based on past habits and patterns and that needs a constant repetition of energetic experiences/reactions to specific thoughts to exist as an energy system
I stand constant and stable within and as the realization that I am not an energy system that needs or requires specific energetic ‘fixes’ to exist – I stand within and as the realization of myself as here, as the living expression of who I really am as life itself as the moment, within and as the realization that life is here, and by existing in fear of change and worrying about the future, I do not actually live or exist as I am but a slave to fear by allowing myself to in each moment be directed by this fear.
2.2.5.3 Reason for connecting Self-Corrective Statements:
2.2.5.3.1 Identify Self realisations to be lived
I realize that this construct exist within myself thus it is one and equal with myself as it is myself, therefore it cannot control, or define me, thus the experience of this thought construct having power over me is an illusion that I have allowed myself to create and participate in
I realize that I am the one that allowed my parents to program me and I was the one who blindly copied my parents fears because I didn’t trust myself and I gave my trust and power away to my parents
I take responsibility for myself as the experience within myself as what I have allowed to exist within myself through my participation in the mind as separation, within and as the realization that I have allowed myself to separate myself from myself as my parents
I realize myself as self trust, security and safety as the living expression of myself as life and realize that the belief that I need my environment to exist is based on the belief that I must survive within and as a personality as a conglomeration of survival techniques that I copied from my mother and is not who I really am
I realize that existing within and as constant and continuous self compromising is not actual living/life, as I am only living out a belief system that I copied from my mother, thus existing as a programmed robot that isn’t actually life/living and I realize that death is in fact a natural part of life as existence, therefore it is absurd and un common sensical to fight death and try to ‘stay alive’ by not allowing myself to enjoy myself as life here within and as unconditional self expression within and as each moment
i realize that the belief and feeling that I have to stay alive at whatever costs and that I have to compromise myself in order to simply survive in this reality is not real and it is not who I am because it is but a belief system that I simply copied from my parents and accepted as ‘the truth’ and ‘real’ without applying common sense or investigating reality for myself by having allowed myself to exist within and as gullibility within and as the belief that I am a slave of god and thus believing that ‘God’ wants me to fight for my survival in this world and if I don’t do what God wants me to do I will go to hell
i apply common sense within looking inside of myself at the belief systems that I have allowed to exist within myself and that I have always based my life on – and therefore haven’t realized that the belief that god wants me to fight other beings for my survival in this world doesn’t make any sense because all that exist is God because god is everything that exist so it doesn’t make sense that God would want his creation to fight and destroy itself – unless god is being self-dishonest and only looking for the experience of power which makes him a fake god that does not take any responsibility for his creation at all
i stand up as the point of god within and as taking responsibility for all of existence, within and as the realization that I am god because god is everything thus I am everything as god equal and one – and I realize that by having allowed myself to separate myself from myself as god and from myself as creation , I have allowed myself to exist within and as separation, abdicating all responsibility for creation as me and experiencing myself as a slave to all that exist by not accepting myself as one and equal with and as all that exist
2.2.5.3.2 Write a practical Self-Script when the reason for connecting comes up again
If and when the belief and feeling that I cannot handle change and that I must hold on to my past as habits and patterns and repeating cycles of actions, thoughts, feelings and emotions as the reason why I have connected the thought that if I lose my job and money I will lose my security to the emotional experience of fear – I stop within myself and I breathe and bring myself here to stand constant and stable within and as the realization that my past is of the mind, habits, patterns, cycles and inner experiences are of the mind wherein I have always existed as the copy of my mother, thus this is not who I really am. I allow myself to get to know myself as who I really am by letting go of the belief that I need the past to define myself and that I need to hold on to the past for my survival and by standing within and as oneness and equality with the past as memories and with my mother though not defined by it
If and when the belief and feeling that I must compromise myself in the moment in order to survive at all costs because it is ‘what god wants and expects of me and if I don’t do what god wants I will go to hell’ – I stop and breathe and I do not allow myself to define myself with or be directed by this feeling/belief because I stand within and as the realization that it does not make any sense to fight creation as other beings because creation is me as god as oneness and equality so it does not make sense to fight myself to ‘stay alive’.
I stand within and as the realization that I am life, therefore there is no such thing as ‘survival’ or ‘staying alive’ as these are concepts of the mind as the lie of belief systems, thoughts, feelings and emotions – who I am is here one and equal with and as all that is here as all of creation
2.2.1 The Emotion or Feeling Work-Sheet
Excitement
2.2.2 Specific type/’shade’ of emotion/feeling:
Expectation
2.2.3 Reason for connecting thought to emotion/feeling:
Expecting that I can keep my job and money as what I believe I need to live
2.2.4 Self-Forgiveness
2.2.4.1 Self-Forgiveness on emotion/feeling:
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience excitement within myself in separation of myself
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing excitement to exist within myself in separation of myself by allowing myself to define myself with the experience of excitement – instead of taking self-responsibility for the experience of excitement within and as the realization that it exist within myself therefore it is me
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the energetic experience of excitement by believing that ‘it just happens to me’ and by allowing myself to desire abdicating my responsibility to another being and to my environment, wherein I have allowed myself to be directed by my environment through having allowed the energetic experience/reaction of excitement to be programmed into me as the desire for something ‘more’ than who I am here – instead of being self-honest within and as the realization that there is nothing ‘more’ than myself here and that the energetic experience of excitement is myself in oneness and equality because I have created it myself through my participation within the mind as separation based on my unwillingness to take self-responsibility
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be directed by the energetic experience of excitement within myself as a reaction to situations and manifestations in this world that I have allowed myself to judge as ‘good’ and ‘positive’ as judgments that I have copied from my parents within my desire to get recognition and approval from my parents within and as the experience of inferiority within myself towards my parents as the fear of being punished, wherein I have allowed myself to accept myself as ‘just a slave’ of my environment – instead of realizing that i am responsible for the experience of myself as ‘just a slave’ by having abdicated my responsibility towards the emotional experience of fear that I had allowed to exist within myself as a reaction to my parents within blaming my parents for how I experienced myself, therefore I am also responsible for the experience of excitement within myself through which I have always allowed myself to be directed and seduced by my environment
2.2.4.2 Self-Forgiveness on type/’shade’ of emotion/feeling:
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience expectation as an energetic experience within myself in separation of myself within and as the belief that there are things that I need to live in this reality, towards which I then experience expectation – instead of realizing that expectation exist within and from the experience within myself that who I am here is ‘not good enough’ and that I need to experience myself as somehow ‘more’ through having more stuff or getting something that will apparently add value to me as a ‘personality entity’
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize that the experience of expectation is an energetic experience and is therefore part of a polarity that cause friction as the energetic experience of expectation that I experience within myself – which is the polarity of the experience and belief of myself as inferior and ‘not good enough’ and on the other hand the experience of expecting/desiring to have/be/become ‘more’ than who I am here and therefore the experience of expectation is not who I am as it is but part of an energetic construct that stems from the experience of myself as ‘not good enough’
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the experience of expectation by defining myself within it by actually believing that there exist things outside of myself somewhere in the future that will add value to my life as who I am here, therefore always existing within expectation as hope and waiting towards the future, always experiencing myself as ‘not good enough’ as who I am here within and as this moment – instead of realizing that the reason why I experience myself as ‘not good enough’ here is because I allow myself to exist within and as the experience of expectation wherein I am always looking for something ‘more’ and ‘better’ outside of myself, basically stating that me as HERE is ‘not good enough’ and is ‘not yet ok’
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize myself as one and equal with the experience of expectation within myself within and as the realization that expectation as an energetic experience exist within myself so therefore it is me in oneness and equality as what I have allowed to exists within myself through my participation in the mind consciousness system as separation of myself within myself as I was never willing to take responsibility for myself and for reality as myself here
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within and as the experience of expectation as basically the attempt and desire to run away from myself here and to escape myself here as the moment, as reality which is here, by believing that there exist more than what is here as me, thus sending myself on a endless journey in search for ‘more’ – never realizing that there is no more than what is here because all of existence exists here within and as this moment as the living experience/expression of myself as existence – thus having allowed myself to become lost within and as the mind as the expectation and belief that there exist more than myself here – instead of being self-honest and looking at my starting point within the experience of expectation and realizing that the origin of expectation as the search and desire for ‘more’ is a fear of myself and a rejection of myself here, thus expectation is not actually real
2.3.4.3 Self-Forgiveness on connecting thought with emotion/feeling:
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the feeling of excitement with the thought that if I lose my job and money I will lose my security by expecting and desiring to have money and a job in the future so that I can continue to feel good about myself and to feel special and important through using my money within doing things that I ‘like’, that give me a ‘good feeling’ and that allow me to energize and generate my ego as positive feelings
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself within the connection between the feeling of excitement and the thought that if I lose my money and job I will lose my security through defining having a job and money within a positive energetic charge that I expect and desire to always be able to experience, within and as the belief that this is who I am as the mind and that I therefore always require to have money and a job so that I can ‘be myself’ as the positive energetic experience that I have defined myself with
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the connection between the thought that if I lose my job and money I will lose my security and the feeling of excitement as expectation by allowing myself to be directed by it within the belief that I need money and a job to be able to be myself as I have allowed myself to define myself within the positive energetic experience that I have connected with the thought of having a job and money – instead of realizing that I am responsible for experiencing having money and a job as positively charged by having allowed myself to judge and define money and a job as ‘positive’ as a judgment that I copied from my parents, therefore the belief and experience that I need money and a job to be myself is not actually real
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize that I am responsible for creating the connection between the thought that if I lose my job and money I will lose my security and the experience of excitement as expectation because I have allowed myself to become a copy of my parents as the defining of myself within and as having money and a job wherein I believe that I can only be myself if I have money and a job thus existing within and as constant expectation and excitement as the desire for having money and a job in the future within and as the belief that money and a job will add value to my life as a belief that I copied from my parents by not taking responsibility for myself as oneness and equality
2.2.5 Self-Corrective Statements
2.2.5.1 Emotions / Feelings' Self-Corrective Statements:
2.2.5.1.1 Identify Self realisations to be lived
I take self-responsibility for the experience of excitement within and as the realization that it exist within myself therefore it is me
I am self-honest within and as the realization that there is nothing ‘more’ than myself here and that the energetic experience of excitement is myself in oneness and equality because I have created it myself through my participation within the mind as separation based on my unwillingness to take self-responsibility
I realize that i am responsible for the experience of myself as ‘just a slave’ by having abdicated my responsibility towards the emotional experience of fear that I had allowed to exist within myself as a reaction to my parents within blaming my parents for how I experienced myself, therefore I am also responsible for the experience of excitement within myself through which I have always allowed myself to be directed, seduced, brainwashed and manipulated by my environment
2.2.5.1.2 Write a practical Self-Script when the emotion / feeling comes up again
If and when the energetic experience of excitement comes up within myself – I breathe and I do not allow myself to define myself with it and I do not allow myself to be directed by it, because I stand constant and stable within and as the realization of myself as responsible for the existence of the energetic experience of excitement within myself, therefore I cannot and will not be directed or influenced by it
2.2.5.2 Specific type of shade emotions / feelings Self-Corrective Statements:
2.2.5.2.1 Identify Self realisations to be lived
I realize that expectation exist within and from the experience within myself that who I am here is ‘not good enough’ and that I need to experience myself as somehow ‘more’ through having more stuff or getting something that will apparently add value to me as a ‘personality entity’
I realize that the experience of expectation is an energetic experience and is therefore part of a polarity that cause friction as the energetic experience of expectation that I experience within myself – which is the polarity of the experience and belief of myself as inferior and ‘not good enough’ and on the other hand the experience of expecting/desiring to have/be/become ‘more’ than who I am here and therefore the experience of expectation is not who I am as it is but part of an energetic construct that stems from the experience of myself as ‘not good enough’
I realize that the reason why I experience myself as ‘not good enough’ here is because I allow myself to exist within and as the experience of expectation wherein I am always looking for something ‘more’ and ‘better’ outside of myself, basically stating that me as HERE is ‘not good enough’ and is ‘not yet ok’
i realize myself as one and equal with the experience of expectation within myself within and as the realization that expectation as an energetic experience exist within myself so therefore it is me in oneness and equality as what I have allowed to exists within myself through my participation in the mind consciousness system as separation of myself within myself as I was never willing to take responsibility for myself and for reality as myself here
I am self-honest and look at my starting point within the experience of expectation and realizing that the origin of expectation as the search and desire for ‘more’ is a fear of myself and a rejection of myself here, thus expectation is not actually real
2.2.5.2.3 Write a practical Self-Script when the type of shade of emotion / feeling comes up again.
If and when I see the energetic experience of expectation coming up within myself – I stop within myself and breathe and I do not allow myself to participate and be directed by this experience, because I stand within and as the realization that the experience expectation actually implies that I am not accepting myself here, thus I investigate my starting point and bring myself back here to make sure that I stand up within and as myself as complete self acceptance of who I am here as oneness and equality within and as the realization that I need, want or require nothing as I stand as all of existence here within and as the moment here
I stand up within and as myself as self-acceptance
If and when I see the energetic experience of expectation coming up within myself – I stop and breathe and I do not allow myself to define myself within this experience of expectation because I stand within and as the realization that this experience exist within myself therefore it is me in oneness and equality and I stand within and as the realization that the belief that there exist more than what is here as me is an illusion that I have created myself through and within allowing myself to participate within expectation as the desire and attempt to run away from myself here – though I stand up within and as the realization that there is no escape from myself as I am always and have always been here.
Therefore I will not allow myself to try and escape within and as the participation of expectation – and I realize myself as here within and as each and every moment, within and as absolute self honesty as the realization that I exist HERE, one and equal with all of existence that is HERE and I stand within and as the realization that everything that is not HERE, is the mind as the desire for ‘more’ as the attempt to escape from myself here
Therefore, I accept myself as one and equal with the energetic experience of expectation as excitement as what exist within myself here
2.2.5.3 Reason for connecting Self-Corrective Statements:
2.2.5.3.1 Identify Self realisations to be lived
I realize that I am responsible for experiencing having money and a job as positively charged by having allowed myself to judge and define money and a job as ‘positive’ as a judgment that I copied from my parents, therefore the belief and experience that I need money and a job to be myself is not actually real
I realize that I am responsible for creating the connection between the thought that if I lose my job and money I will lose my security and the experience of excitement as expectation because I have allowed myself to become a copy of my parents as the defining of myself within and as having money and a job wherein I believe that I can only be myself if I have money and a job thus existing within and as constant expectation and excitement as the desire for having money and a job in the future within and as the belief that money and a job will add value to my life as a belief that I copied from my parents by not taking responsibility for myself as oneness and equality
2.2.5.3.2 Write a practical Self-Script when the reason for connecting comes up again
If and when I see the belief that I need money and a job to be myself as the reason why I have connected the thought that if I lose my money and job I will lose my security and the energetic experience of excitement coming up within myself – I stop within myself as I breathe through it, not allowing myself to be directed or defined by this belief, by standing stable and constant within and as myself within and as the realization that I have copied the belief that I need money and a job to be myself within and as the belief that I am the mind as positive feelings that I have allowed myself to generate through defining and judging money and a job as positive from my parents and that it is not who I really am, because I stand within and as oneness and equality with my parents, with money, with a job, and with the energetic experience of expectation as excitement within and as the realization that my experience of reality has always been copied from my parents and was never actually real as who I am here as the self-directive principle of myself as life
2.2.2 The Words Work-Sheet
2.2.2.2 Self-Forgiveness
2.2.2.2.1 Self-Forgiveness on positive/negative value for word:
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give a positive value to the word trust
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that the word trust is positively charged and therefore desire to experience trust within and as the desire to experience positive energy within myself
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word trust by giving the word trust a positive value within my mind, thus creating the belief/feeling that the word ‘trust’ is superior/better than me – instead of realizing that I am responsible for how I experience the word trust by having separated it from myself by having given it a positive value within my mind
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize myself as one and equal with the word trust as a manifestation/being in myself as reality, by having given the word trust a positive value so that I can use/abuse the word trust to fulfill my personal desires of feeling special and important through experiencing energy
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word trust within a positive value – thus creating the illusion that the word trust exist in separation of myself and thus desiring to ‘experience’ the word trust – instead of realizing that I am only trying/desiring to experience myself as the word trust, that actually exist within myself, because I have allowed myself to separate the word trust from myself by giving it a positive value and by not having taken responsibility for myself as the creator of the experience of myself within and as reality here
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to take responsibility for how I experience the word trust as ‘positively charged’ – by allowing myself to desire to experience the word trust as positively charged and not realizing that the word trust and the positive charge that I experience within myself as a reaction to the word trust exist within myself, thus it is myself and the only reason why I never realized this is because I have allowed myself to desire the word trust, therein separating myself from the word trust and the positive charge that I have given it
2.2.2.2.2 Self-Forgiveness on each point in the word-web:
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word trust to relationships
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word trust within relationships
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word trust and from relationships through defining trust within relationships
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word trust to money
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word trust within money
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word trust and from money through defining trust within money
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word trust to the belief that I must not ask questions
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word trust within the belief that I must not ask questions
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word trust and from the belief that I must not ask questions through defining trust within the belief that I must not ask question
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word trust to the white light
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word trust within the white light
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word trust and from the white light through defining trust within the white light
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word trust to the fear of getting hurt
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word trust within the fear of getting hurt
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word trust and from the fear of getting hurt through defining trust within the fear of getting hurt
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word trust to the fear of being deceived
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word trust within the fear of being deceived
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word trust and from the fear of being deceived through defining trust within the fear of being deceived
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word trust to my parents
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word trust within my parents
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word trust and from my parents through defining trust within my parents
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word trust to manipulation
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word trust within manipulation
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word trust and from manipulation through defining trust within manipulation
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word trust to wanting people to trust me
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word trust within wanting people to trust me
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate the word trust and the desire for people to trust me from myself through defining trust within the desire for people to trust me
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word trust to god and angels
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word trust within god and angels
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word trust and from
god and angels through defining the word trust within god and angels
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word trust to following
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word trust within following
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word trust and from following through defining trust within following
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word trust to friendship
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word trust within friendship
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word trust and from friendship through defining trust within friendship
1.2.2.3 Re-Define the Word in the Centre-Circle
1.2.2.3.1 Gathering information:
1.2.2.3.1.1 Establishing self’s allocation point:
Trust is something that I have always had in other people and the structures of this world – I have trusted the money system, the family system, the education system, the mind system, my thoughts (= what I have learned from all the world systems as knowledge and information) – within the experience of fear of dying/fear of loss. It always seemed so much easier to simply trust my parents, grandparents and teachers, because they want me to trust them, and so that’s what I did – believing that ‘they’ll know best’, and ‘as long as I simply trust my parents, grandparents and teachers, nothing bad will happen to me’ because I would be their ‘puppet’/robot doing whatever they want and expect from me and in ‘exchange’ I could feel safe from my own fears.
So my allocation point in trust has always been ‘just follow blindly and don’t ask questions’, as an ignorant trusting in a ‘greater power’ outside of myself as an excuse to not take responsibility for myself.
1.2.2.3.1.2 Dictionary Definition:
1.reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence.
2. confident expectation of something; hope.
3. confidence in the certainty of future payment for property or goods received; credit: to sell merchandise on trust.
4.a person on whom or thing on which one relies: God is my trust.
5. the condition of one to whom something has been entrusted.
1.2.2.3.1.3 Sounding the word:
When sounding the word in dutch ‘vertrouwen’, there exist the word ‘trouwen’ (which means ‘to wed’) and in the English word ‘trust’, there exist the word ‘us’ within it – which for me implies that ‘trust’ is always defined within a relationship between two or more beings, wherein those beings are in some way ‘interconnected’, as they ‘trust each other’ or ‘one trusts the other’ – but when sounding the word ‘trust’, it seems to inherently imply a ‘blindness’, like how I was always told to ‘trust my parents’ or ‘trust in god’ or ‘trust my teachers’, which basically meant to not ask questions and blindly follow within the ‘trust’ that they know what is best.
‘Trust’, with the word ‘us’ in it, is the basic foundation of relationships like friendships, marriage and family – wherein the beings blindly follow each other, within the faith that the other person knows what is ‘best’, and wherein each being is actually looking for safety and security, thus placing all ‘trust’ (=blind faith) in the other person within the belief that they will in some way provide that safety.
‘Trust’ also implies a desire and a search for something outside of self, a desire to blindly follow another being and to have faith in another being, wherein I basically accept myself as an inferior being, as a ‘slave of god’ that apparently needs guidance and support and help from an outside source to exist. Though at the same time I desire the other being to trust me as well, because that is what the relationship is all based on – a blind belief/faith that the other person is ‘good’, which is like worshiping each other by not looking at the reality of who self is and who the other being is and standing one and equal. It’s like the ego looking for validation, within expecting my ‘friends’ to simply trust me without ever asking questions – because in fact the ego is not trustworthy at all as it has all this secret backchat which is completely selfish and which shows that I actually really don’t care about the other person at all – which is why I need them to simply trust (have blind faith) that I do care about them so they will follow me as I follow them so I may feel important and special as the ego that I believe myself to be.
There is also the word ‘rust’ in ‘trust’ – which means that the beings that exist in a relationship are ‘hooked in’ and ‘stuck to each other’ (rusted together), never able to expand themselves, because they believe that they need the other being to experience safety and security. So trust in this sense implies being ‘unfree’ to express oneself because one apparently has to ‘follow’ another who will apparently ‘show the way’ towards where/what/who one apparently has to be
Also, when sounding the word ‘trust’, I hear ‘must’ – as in ‘trust’ is something I must, which is why I have been blindly trusting my environment throughout my life, within the belief that I simply ‘must’
Also, when sounding the word ‘trust’, I hear ‘true’ or ‘truest’ – so when saying ‘I trust you’, I am actually saying ‘I have faith that you are the truest’ (as in ‘more true than anyone else – that is why I am trusting (having faith in) YOU and not someone else’, which is also the backbone of friendship) – which is basically like admitting that the world is filled with lies and liars and I am just seeking for the truest person that will show me the truth (=the light/god). The truth being apparently ‘that which will set me free’ – not even realizing that I am ‘rusting’(=unfree) in the relationship of trusting the other being in search for the truth/freedom. And also not realizing that I am not really looking for ‘the truth’, I am looking for ‘MY TRUTH’ because I am basically following my feelings that will determine who I will trust and who I will not, who will become my friends and spiritual leaders and who will not – so obviously within this ‘trust’, I am setting myself up for a never-ending search for something that isn’t even there as I am basically creating it as I go.
1.2.2.3.2 Investigate the information of the word that has been gathered
The word as how I have always used it, has got a positive charge – as I have always been using it within the desire of the ego/mind to reach/obtain/attain a personal goal, trusting that which makes me feel good about myself.
1.2.2.3.3 New definition
1.2.2.3.3.1 Creative writing:
Trust as what is best for all as the living statement of who I am as best for all, is not to have faith in that which makes me feel good about myself and believing that that is ‘the truth’ – but trust is to stand as the truth, as that which is real, which isn’t necessarily what makes me feel good – it is simply what is HERE, as the one and only truth that I can truly trust, within and as the realization that I cannot trust my feelings or thoughts because my feelings/thoughts are a made up reality that I have constructed based on personal desires. So true trust can only exist once I have established what is real, once I stand within and as what is actually real – as the only thing that I can rely/trust/stand on, as the only thing that can provide true, lasting and unconditional safety and security no matter what.
So, what is obvious is that that which is real is what is HERE, meaning my physical reality/presence/experience in this very moment – as my thoughts and feelings and emotions will always make up an image about what is apparently real, though it doesn’t actually affect my physical reality living. What is real is the actual experience of myself HERE within and as this very moment – because it is HERE that I am faced with reality, with pain for instance or with certain physical sensations due to the situation that I am in. and no matter what I think or believe or feel about the future – that which is here is always what in fact determines what is real and who I am because it is actually happening to me ‘beyond my will’. Thoughts, feelings and emotions as future projections or beliefs about what is apparently real or what will happen to me is actually subject to my will as I can mould and shape it according to how I want to feel and experience myself, therefore my inner experiences as thoughts, feelings and emotions are always changing – but that which is HERE, is beyond my will, because HERE is HERE, it is simply happening no matter what I want, think, believe or feel. Therefore it is clear to see that if there is anything that I can and have to trust, it is HERE, as that which is all-determining, that which is here no matter what, that which cannot be influenced by me and my will.
So, from that perspective, it is actually strange that I have always trusted my feelings and thoughts – when they were never even actually real as they were always subject to reality as that which is HERE – it is even completely absurd and crazy that I even believed that my thoughts and feelings ARE reality, that they represent what is real and that I can and must trust them and that I never noticed that there are ‘laws’ that go way beyond my feelings and thoughts, there are certain laws of and within this reality like laws of nature and physics and laws of the body and of society that exist beyond these feelings and thoughts and that are actually the real governing forces that determine my entire experience of reality. Though I would only notice this when something ‘bad’ would happen to me, and as long as I had enough money to ‘fix’ things and as long as things could be fixed through money – I could always make it seem as though I do have complete control over my world through thoughts and feelings.
Also I never even noticed that my very ‘mind’ as thoughts that is generated through energy – is in fact completely dependent on my physical structure – it’s like I wasn’t aware even that I need my brain as a physical structure to function and operate – to think and feel and experience myself as an ‘I – personality’. I have always taken my life and experience for granted – actually believing that the energy that I experienced and the thoughts that I think is what has control and power over all that is here and that it thus is me, and never seeing or realizing just how that very energy and my very personality as what seems like a ‘solid structure’ is only here because of certain physical structures – in fact I have been only existing AS this energy as thoughts, feelings and emotions that were/are being generated through and within the body through and within the physiological and physical structures of the flesh that in fact generate that energy – so from that perspective I have truly never even been real, all the while I was existing within and as the belief that I am ‘all there is’, that I as this energy as thoughts, feelings and emotions as the mind, am the most powerful being in existence – when It was/is quite the other way around.
In fact ‘I’ as the mind as who and what I have always believed/experienced myself to be, has been and is nothing but a program, I have in fact been nothing but a program, completely unaware of myself as but a program as I was so consumed with myself as that program within and as the belief/experience of myself as apparently ‘superior’ – as the one experience that kept the entire program ‘solid’ and functioning, never wanting to realize, see or consider that maybe I am not superior, maybe I am not all-knowing and all-powerful.
And even with learning about how the body functions, learning about all the specific brain-areas where the thinking takes place – even within learning that in fact every thought I have has its point of origin somewhere in the physiological structure of the brain and that everything I see, feel, taste, smell though my ‘senses’ as that which I have always defined myself with, happens through certain physiological processes that are vital for my existence as a ‘sentient being’ – I still would not see that I as the mind as energy as thoughts, feelings and emotions is but a small part within a bigger machine as the human body, I would still not realize that in fact the mind as who/what I have always believed myself to be, is but a result of various physical processes, the mind is like the product that comes out of the factory of the body – therefore, to identify myself with the mind is to limit myself extensively in my existence. It is to be in denial of all that I am as all that is here, as the entirety of this physical reality as the very foundational structures that determine my existence here, that determine all of myself here.
Therefore, what is trust? Trust is the realization that the mind is not all there is, and that my thoughts, feelings and emotions do not make up or determine reality and that I therefore cannot have faith in my thoughts and feelings and emotions that will form all sorts of definitions, images and ideas about ‘what is real’ – because I realize that any and all kinds of thoughts, feelings and emotions are but the end-result of all sorts of processes that I have actually never even been aware of. Therefore trust is HERE – because only HERE is the physical reality/experience, only HERE will I get to know that which is not the mind because only the mind can exist in past and future as illusions, projections and ideas – all else is simply HERE.
So, trust that is REAL is always simply HERE – because everything and anything that is not HERE as this moment, is not actually real as it is only the mind as the perception of ‘all-knowingness’ and ‘all-powerfulness’, the mind that is not willing to consider anything but the experience of itself as apparent superiority, which cannot be trusted because the mind is in fact, in reality, not all powerful, as it is completely dependent on and determined/created by the physical reality that is HERE and that does not comply or adhere to the ‘will/desires/perceptions’ of the mind.
1.2.2.3.3.2 Writing the definition:
So, trust that is REAL is always simply HERE, it is being HERE and always bringing myself HERE, to stand one and equal with all that exist here as reality – because everything and anything that is not HERE as this moment, is not actually real as it is only the mind as the perception of ‘all-knowingness’ and ‘all-powerfulness’, the mind that is not willing to consider anything but the experience of itself as apparent superiority, which cannot be trusted because the mind is in fact, in reality, not all powerful, as it is completely dependent on and determined/created by the physical reality that is HERE and that does not comply or adhere to the ‘will/desires/perceptions’ of the mind.
Trust is to stand within and as the realization that I cannot possibly ‘know’ or ‘comprehend’ through thoughts and feelings what is REAL, because thoughts and feelings are but a product of reality, of the physical human body. Therefore to stand within and as trust, is to not define myself within and as the mind as thoughts, feelings and emotions – and to stand as the realization that thoughts, feelings and emotions as the mind is not superior at all, and is not ‘all there is’ – so therefore trust cannot be defined within the mind
1.2.2.3.4 Checking the definition
1.2.2.3.4.1 Is there a polarity in the definition that I have assigned to the word?
Answer: no
1.2.2.3.4.2 Can I stand by this definition of the word eternally?
Answer: yes
2.2.3 The Pictures Work-Sheet
2.2.3.1 Drawing/writing out a picture-representation:
Getting a Phone call from my work, wherein they tell me that they received a few Phone calls from some clients that weren’t satisfied with me – so now they are sorry, but they decided to ‘let me go’. And then I go into depression, and I judge myself, believing that there is something wrong with me because I am getting fired. And then I will not want to get up anymore to go and look for a new job because I am stuck in the thought that I am ‘worthless’ and that I will never get a new job anymore because apparently ‘I am not good enough for this world’, I am ‘not normal enough’ because this world is rejecting me through firing me. So then I will experience complete desperation, feeling like shit and losing all faith in myself, with panic growing and growing as I am running out of money to keep myself safe in this world. | |
2.2.3.2 What the picture as a whole represents:
Fear of rejection and desire for recognition from people – wherein I for instance see and consider the fact that I have a job as ‘getting recognition’ for ‘being normal’ and ‘acceptable’ In this reality – and thus being fired would be like ‘being rejected’ and being ‘not good enough’
2.2.3.3 Self-Forgiveness
2.2.3.3.1 Self-Forgiveness on the picture:
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the picture of me getting a phone call from my work telling me that I m fired and then going into depression and panic to exist within myself in separation of myself
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to imagine getting a phone call from my work telling me that I’m fired and reacting to that with fear, panic, sadness and self-judgment
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself within the picture of getting a phone call from my work telling me that I am fired and reacting to that with fear, panic, sadness and self-judgment, by separating myself from this picture – instead of realizing that I am one and equal with this picture because it exist within myself
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the picture within my mind of getting a phone call from my work telling me that I am fired and me reacting to that with the emotional experience of fear, panic, sadness and self-judgment by judging the picture as ‘bad’ and ‘negative’ – instead of realizing that this picture is me as it exist within myself and the only reason why I have never realized this is because I have allowed myself to exist within and as the ego of the mind as the belief and feeling that I am special and important within and as energetic experiences wherein I have allowed myself to connect certain manifestations in this world to positive or negative energetic charges considering whether or not they support my illusion of believing myself to be important and special in this world
2.2.3.3.2 Self-Forgiveness on what the picture represents:
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience fear of being rejected within the picture in my mind of my work calling me to tell me that I am fired with me reacting to it with fear, panic, sadness and self-judgment
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the picture of being called by my work telling me that I am fired and me reacting with fear, panic, sadness and self-judgment to exist within myself as a representation of the fear of being rejected
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to represent the fear of being rejected within and through the picture in my mind of being called by my work telling me that I am fired, and me reacting with fear, panic, sadness and self-judgment – wherein I have created the illusion that the fear of being rejected and the experience of rejection exist outside of myself in a certain situation as depicted in the picture in my mind – instead of taking responsibility for the experience and existence of the fear of rejection within myself by realizing that it exist within myself and thus I am creating it as well as I have created the picture as the representation of the fear of rejection
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abdicate my responsibility for the experience of the fear of rejection within myself through defining it within the picture of being called by my work telling me that I am fired and me reacting with fear, panic, sadness and self-judgment
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize that the picture of being called by my work telling me that I am fired and me reacting with fear, panic, sadness and self-judgment is not actually real as it is but the representation of the fear of rejection that I have allowed to exist within myself
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be directed by the fear of rejection through fearing the picture of getting called by my work telling me that I am fired and me reacting with fear, panic, sadness and self-judgment as the representation of fear of rejection – instead of realizing that the fear of rejection and feeling rejected has nothing to do with that picture or that specific situation and that the picture within my mind is actually diversion/distraction from the fact that I am responsible for the experience of rejection and the experience of the fear of rejection as an energetic experience that I have allowed to exist within myself, which thus has nothing to do with the situation that I am in as the pictures that I see with my eyes
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the fear of rejection and from the picture of being called by my work telling me that I am fired and me reacting with fear, panic, sadness and self-judgment by defining the fear of rejection within the picture of being called by my work telling me that I am fired and me reacting with fear, panic, sadness and self-judgment
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the picture of getting called by my work telling me that I am fired with me reacting with fear, panic, sadness and self-judgment instead of realizing that I actually fear rejection as what the picture in my mind actually represents – wherein the picture is actually my desire to abdicate my responsibility towards the experience of fear of rejection by projecting it unto a picture and within that creating the illusion that the fear of rejection and feeling rejected exist outside of myself and apparently has power over me – instead of taking responsibility for the fear of rejection within myself and for the fact that I have allowed myself to create this fear of rejection within myself through my participation within the mind by stopping the fear and not allowing myself to be influenced and directed by a picture in my mind
2.2.3.3.3 Self-Forgiveness on connection to the thought:
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the picture of my work calling me to tell me that I am fired and me reacting with fear, panic, sadness and self-judgment to the thought that if I lose my job and money I will lose my security
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see money and a job as ‘my security’ because of the picture in my mind wherein I have a mental breakdown when/if I were to get fired and lose my job/money
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize that I am actually not afraid of losing my job and money, but I am afraid of how I would react within myself with thoughts and emotions like fear, panic, sadness and self-judgment – for which I am completely self-responsible as I have allowed fear, panic, sadness and self-judgment to exist within myself as thoughts and emotions
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize that I don’t actually see money and a job as my ‘security’, it is the experience within myself as positive feelings that I have connected with the thought of having a job and money as I see having a job and money as ‘getting recognition for my existence by the world’, thus feeling validated in my ego as the desire to feel important and special – and I am completely self responsible for the experience within myself as thoughts and feelings because it exists within myself as what I have allowed to exist
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see having a job and money and ‘getting hired’ as ‘getting recognition by the world for my existence’ and to thus connect a positive feeling to ‘getting hired’ by a company and having a job and money, and to therefore also fear and connect a negative emotional experience with losing my job and money and ‘getting fired’ as I see that as ‘being rejected by the world’ – because I have allowed myself to define myself within the polarity of desiring recognition and fearing rejection that I have copied from my father
I forgive myself for allowing myself to define the picture of my work calling me to tell me that I am fired and me having a mental breakdown within the thought that if I lose my job and money I will lose my security
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the thought that If I lose my job and money I will lose my security within the picture of my work calling me to tell me that I am fired and me having a mental breakdown, wherein It seems as though the situation is responsible for how I experience myself – instead of realizing that this picture as the ‘situation’ of me losing my job actually represents an energetic polarity that I have allowed to exist within myself as the desire for recognition and fear of rejection, wherein I have defined ‘security’ within experiencing positive feelings wherein the ego as the belief that I am special and important is ‘secured’ and I have defined ‘insecurity’ within experiencing negative emotions wherein the ego as the belief that I am special and important in this world is ‘not secured’, thus the ‘security’ that I will apparently be ‘losing’ if/when I lose my job and money is not real security as it is but the feeling of security that the ego/mind needs and wants to be able to exist as an energy construct of perceived superiority
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the connection between the picture of my work calling me to tell me that I am fired with me reacting to that with emotional experiences of fear, panic, sadness and self-judgment with the thought that if I lose my job and money I will lose my security to exist within myself in separation of myself by allowing myself to be directed by it by compromising myself in situations towards my employer and clients to make sure that I can hold on to my job and money – within the belief that I will lose my security if I were to lose my job and money – instead of realizing that the security that I fear losing is but the ego as the illusion that I have allowed myself to become, as the positive inner experiences that I have connected with having money and a job that I have defined myself with because real security is always HERE within and as me as oneness and equality as standing constant and stable within and as myself within and as the realization of who I am as life as oneness and equality
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to take responsibility for the connection that exist within myself between the picture in my mind of my work calling me to tell me that I am fired and me reacting with the emotional experience of fear, panic, sadness and self-judgment and the thought that if I lose my job and money I will lose my security by having allowed myself to be defined and directed by this construct/connection by existing within and as self-compromising within the belief that I need my job and money to experience security – instead of realizing that that security is but a feeling that I have connected with the thought of having money and a job but it is not actual real security that I can trust unto eternity
2.2.3.4 Self-Corrective Statements
2.2.3.4.1 Picture’s Self-Corrective Statements:
2.2.3.4.1.1 Identify Self realisations to be lived
I realize that I am one and equal with this picture because it exist within myself
I realize that this picture is me as it exist within myself and the only reason why I have never realized this is because I have allowed myself to exist within and as the ego of the mind as the belief and feeling that I am special and important within and as energetic experiences wherein I have allowed myself to connect certain manifestations in this world to positive or negative energetic charges considering whether or not they support my illusion of believing myself to be important and special in this world
2.2.3.4.1.2 Write a practical Self-Script when the picture comes up again
If and when the picture of being called by my work to tell me that I am fired and me reacting with fear, panic, sadness and self-judgment comes up within myself – I breathe through it and I do not allow myself to react to it by judging it as bad or negative and I do not allow to be directed or influenced by it because I stand constant and stable within and as the realization that this picture is me and I am responsible for its existence within myself because I have created it through my participation in the mind, so I stand up within and as self-responsibility and realize myself as one and equal with this picture
2.2.3.4.2 Picture representation’s Self-Corrective Statements:
2.2.3.4.2.1 Identify Self realisations to be lived
I take responsibility for the experience and existence of the fear of rejection within myself by realizing that it exist within myself and thus I am creating it as well as I have created the picture as the representation of the fear of rejection
I realize that the fear of rejection and feeling rejected has nothing to do with that picture or that specific situation and that the picture within my mind is actually diversion/distraction from the fact that I am responsible for the experience of rejection and the experience of the fear of rejection as an energetic experience that I have allowed to exist within myself, which thus has nothing to do with the situation that I am in as the pictures that I see with my eyes
i realize that the picture of being called by my work telling me that I am fired and me reacting with fear, panic, sadness and self-judgment is not actually real as it is but the representation of the fear of rejection that I have allowed to exist within myself
I take responsibility for the fear of rejection within myself and for the fact that I have allowed myself to create this fear of rejection within myself through my participation within the mind by stopping the fear and not allowing myself to be influenced and directed by a picture in my mind
2.2.3.4.2.2 Write a practical Self-Script for when the Picture representation comes up again
If and when the picture of being called by my work and experiencing a mental breakdown as the picture representation of the fear of being rejected comes up within myself – I stop within myself and I breathe and I do not allow myself to be directed or influenced by the construct of the picture and the emotional experience of fear because I realize that the fear of being rejected has got nothing to do with the situation within the picture as the fear of being rejected has all to do with who I have allowed myself to become as a mind consciousness system as the desire to feel special and important as positive energetic experiences within myself as reaction to certain thoughts associated with certain situations and manifestations in this world such as having money and a job – and I stand constant and stable within and as the realization that I am not the mind as the belief that I am special or important, I am not special or important, I am HERE, within and as oneness and equality with all that exist here, no more no less. Therefore I stand one and equal with this picture within myself and with the fear of rejection though not influenced or directed by it.
2.2.4 The Memories Work-Sheet
My dad talking to me in a worried manner
2.2.4.1 Complete unfolding of memory:
I was sitting in the couch at home and my dad walked in and asked me if I shouldn’t be at work, and then I said that I quit – then he started talking to me in a worried manner when I had not showed up for my job – because he found it so important what the employer would think about me as I had not showed up for my job, so the ‘boss’ must be really displeased with me. So then I learned that what other people think about me is much more important than me myself – (self-image of ‘I have to please other people because what they think of me is more important than who I am here’), thus placing my security outside of myself in ‘other people’, a job and money – wherein I basically fear making my own decisions and being myself because I fear to displease other people
2.2.4.2 Relevant points within the Memory:
- Copying the fear of my father with regards to ‘displeasing the employer’
- Copying the belief from my father that I have to be ‘a good worker (in life)’ for an employer (who thus has to be pleased with me)
- Copying the belief that I cannot make my own decisions and that I always have to think about what other people want and expect from me when I make decisions, thus believing that I am but a slave to other people
- Feeling guilty about having quit my job because my father got upset with me
2.2.4.3 Reason for holding on to the Memory:
The desire to be ‘good’ in the eyes of my parents and the fear of being criticized/judged by my father like that – fear that my father will disapprove of me.
And blaming my father for the fear that I experience within myself towards displeasing my employer and the fact that I have always experienced myself as a slave to other people
2.2.4.4 Self-Forgiveness
2.2.4.4.1 Self-Forgiveness on the memory
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to remember that my father told me that I can’t just quit my job and that I have to worry about what my employer will think of me wherein I felt guilty about having quit my job because my father was upset with me and wherein I learned that apparently I am a slave of other people just like my father within and as separation of myself by allowing myself to be defined by that memory as a ‘personality trait’ of always thinking and worrying about what people may think, want and expect of me – instead of realizing that my father was only expressing his fears towards me in that moment, which was not personal at all
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the memory of my father telling me that I have to think about what my employer wants and expects from me and that I can’t just live and express myself in this world because I am a slave to other people and must please them to exist within myself in separation of myself through defining myself within this memory – instead of realizing that I am one and equal with my father and with his expression and that the only reason why I took his expression personally and therefore copied his fears and identified myself with his fears as if I didn’t simply copy them from my father, is because I have allowed myself to exist as the ego of the mind as the belief that I am special and unique and separate from my father
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I am a slave to other people as a belief that I learned and copied from my father within the memory of him getting upset over me having quit my job and worrying about what the employer will think of me and getting upset over me not being able to hold on to a job within the fear that his children will not be effective workers in this reality – instead of realizing that this is a belief system that my father copied from his father and that he now expresses towards his children by not having taken responsibility for himself as one and equal with his parents and his children and with the world systems, wherein he now wants his children to become just as fearful as himself and his parents, therefore I am one and equal with this belief but it does not define me because I am here, within and as oneness and equality as life itself and not a copy of my parents
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from my father by reacting with the emotional experience of guilt to his words and to him expressing his dissatisfaction with me having quit my job and his fear with regards to ‘losing your job’ because I wanted my father to be pleased with me – wherein I then copied his fears so that he would be pleased with me, thus allowing myself to become a copy of my father and living out his fears – instead of realizing myself as one and equal with my father as who I really am and instead of realizing that I am not unique or special or separate from my father, therefore I cannot be influenced by his expression towards me because I am him, within and as oneness and equality as I have been birthed from him and everything I know and everything I am is copied from him
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to copy the fear of displeasing my employer from my father by having allowed myself to separate myself from my father through believing that I am special and unique as the ego of the mind wherein I desire to please my father and thus become like him so that he would feel good about me as I have become what he wanted me to become – instead of realizing that my father has copied that fear of displeasing his employer from his father as he also simply wanted to please his father so that he could feel good about himself as a mind consciousness system, thus the fear is not reality, it is a mind construct that has been passed down from generation to generation
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience guilt over having quit my job and to believe that quitting my job and not showing up for work is really bad because my father got upset with me about it and because I had defined myself with my fathers expression within the desire to get approval and recognition from my father, thus copying his fear of not showing up for work and being judged as a ‘bad worker’ by his employer – instead of realizing that I am not separate from my father because all that I am is what I have copied and learned from my parents, thus the fact that he would judge me or react emotionally towards me only implies that he is not honest with himself within and as the realization that I as his child am one and equal with him and thus revealing and showing him who he is as I have become the copy of him as my father
2.2.4.4.2 Self-Forgiveness on reason for holding on to the memory:
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold on to the memory of my father getting upset over me not showing up for work and worrying about what my employer will think of me within and through the desire to get recognition and approval of my father, as the desire to be supported in my ego as the mind that I have allowed myself to become as a copy of my parents as a mind consciousness system – instead of realizing and accepting myself as one and equal with this memory as what exist within myself and one and equal with my father within and as the realization that who I am is a copy of my father therefore I am my father and thus cannot be influenced by him
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold on to the memory of my father getting upset with me for not showing up for work and thus displeasing my employer and not being a good worker by using it to build up myself as a personality as thoughts feelings and emotions as an apparent separate entity that exist in apparent separation of ‘other people’ like my parents within and as the desire to feel as though I am special – instead of realizing within applying common sense that all that I am as who I have become as the mind as thoughts feelings and emotions is all what I have copied and learned from my environment as my parents through reacting to them within the pre-programmed emotional reaction of fear, just how my parents allowed themselves to become copies of their parents by having allowed themselves to react to their parents with the emotional reaction of fear, thus separating themselves from themselves as their parents, just like I have allowed myself to separate myself from myself as my parents through fear
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold on to the memory of my father getting upset with me because I did not show up for work and because in his eyes I was not a good worker and thus ‘bad’, wherein I experienced guilt towards my father and what I had done because I identified with the expression of my father towards me and believed myself to be ‘bad’, by blaming him for the guilt that I experienced within myself and the fear that I now experience within myself towards my employer and towards my environment as the fear that I have copied from him within the belief that he is responsible for how I reacted to him – instead of realizing that my reactions of guilt and fear is what I have allowed to exist within myself by not being honest with myself about who I am as oneness and equality, and by already having separated myself from my father and not standing one and equal with and as him within and as the realization that I am the product of my father, he raised me and all that I know about myself and the world in terms of what is apparently ‘good’ and ‘bad’ is what I copied from my parents, therefore my father is not responsible for the guilt that I experienced within myself
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the experience of guilt as how I reacted within myself towards my father’s expression towards me wherein he expressed his fear of displeasing his employer and his judgments towards himself as a ‘bad worker’ if he were to not show up for work and his belief systems about apparently having to exist as a slave to other people by having blamed my father for the guilt that I experienced towards him – instead of realizing that his expression towards me is what he has allowed to exist within himself as thoughts feelings and emotions that he copied from his father by having allowed himself to also blame his father for how he experienced himself towards him, therefore only I am truly capable of taking responsibility for myself and standing up within and as oneness and equality within and as self-respect
2.2.4.4.3 Self-Forgiveness on connection to the thought:
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the memory of my father getting upset with me because I didn’t show up for work and me experiencing guilt and inferiority towards him to the thought that if I lose my job and money I will lose my security wherein I have allowed myself to define ‘security’ within and as a positive feeling within myself about myself as an apparent ‘good person’ based on the idea that my father is pleased with me because I am a ‘good worker’ – instead of realizing that this is not real security because it only exist within the mind as a thought and a feeling that only serves the ego of the mind as the desire to feel special and important and good about myself within and as separation of my parents, which is not who I really am because I am life as oneness and equality
I forgive myself that I have allowed the connection between the memory of my father getting upset with me because I didn’t show up for work and me experiencing guilt towards him and the thought that if I lose my job and money I will lose my security to exist within myself in separation of myself as a thought construct that I have defined myself with and that I have used as a survival technique of myself as the ego as the desire to experience good feelings within this world, wherein I have allowed myself to exist as a copy of my father – instead of realizing that this is not actual real survival as it doesn’t have anything to do with life, it only considers my personal feelings and my personal desire to feel good about myself based on the positive energetic charge that I have given to the thought that I have a job and money as a thought construct that I have copied from my father – wherein I actually fear losing the ego as that positive energetic experience that I have defined myself with, wherein I feel and believe myself to be special and unique and separate from my parents
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be directed by the connection between the memory of my father getting upset with me because I didn’t show up for work wherein I experienced guilt and inferiority towards him and the thought that if I lose my job and money I will lose my security by not taking responsibility for the experience of this construct within myself and by thus not realizing and accepting myself as one and equal with it because I blame my father for how I experience myself within and as this construct – instead of realizing that I am completely responsible for the experience of myself within myself as my thoughts, feelings and emotions as what I have allowed to exist within myself and what I have allowed myself to copy from my father because of my desire for recognition and approval from my father by not being self-honest within and as the realization of myself as one and equal with my father and thus one and equal with his expression towards me
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to stand one and equal with the memory of experiencing guilt towards my father when he got upset with me because I didn’t show up for work, by having allowed myself to connect this memory with the thought that if I lose my job and money I will lose my security, thus having allowed myself to be directed and influenced by this memory, by having allowed myself to believe that I am the victim of the emotional experience of guilt and by having allowed myself to blame my father for the guilt that I experienced within myself towards him – instead of taking responsibility for my inner experiences and realizing that I am one and equal with the emotional experience of guilt because it exist within myself and instead of realizing that I am responsible for the reason why I experienced guilt because I had allowed myself to abdicate my responsibility to my father and I had allowed myself to trust my father by not wanting to take self-responsibility, thus allowing myself to define myself with his expression towards me and not realizing myself as one and equal with him
2.2.4.5 Self-Corrective Statements
2.2.4.5.1 Memory’s Self-Corrective Statements:
2.2.4.5.1.1 Identify Self realisations to be lived
I realize that my father was only expressing his fears towards me in that moment, which was not personal at all
I realize that I am one and equal with my father and with his expression and that the only reason why I took his expression personally and therefore copied his fears and identified myself with his fears as if I didn’t simply copy them from my father, is because I have allowed myself to exist as the ego of the mind as the belief that I am special and unique and separate from my father
I realize that this is a belief system that my father copied from his father and that he now expresses towards his children by not having taken responsibility for himself as one and equal with his parents and his children and with the world systems, wherein he now wants his children to become just as fearful as himself and his parents, therefore I am one and equal with this belief but it does not define me because I am here, within and as oneness and equality as life itself and not a copy of my parents
I realize myself as one and equal with my father as who I really am and instead of realizing that I am not unique or special or separate from my father, therefore I cannot be influenced by his expression towards me because I am him, within and as oneness and equality as I have been birthed from him and everything I know and everything I am is copied from him
I realize that my father has copied that fear of displeasing his employer from his father as he also simply wanted to please his father so that he could feel good about himself as a mind consciousness system, thus the fear is not reality, it is a mind construct that has been passed down from generation to generation
I realize that I am not separate from my father because all that I am is what I have copied and learned from my parents, thus the fact that he would judge me or react emotionally towards me only implies that he is not honest with himself within and as the realization that I as his child am one and equal with him and thus revealing and showing him who he is as I have become the copy of him as my father
2.2.4.5.1.2 Write a practical Self-Script for when the memory comes up again
If and when I see the memory of my father getting upset with me because I didn’t show up for work wherein I reacted with guilt towards my father’s expression – I breathe and I do not allow myself to be directed by this memory because I realize that this memory is me in oneness and equality because it exist within myself and I realize that I am one and equal with my father and I am self-responsible for the experience of guilt within myself because I had allowed myself to be self-dishonest in wanting recognition and approval from my father, thus identifying with his expression towards me and not realizing that his expression and how he experiences himself towards me is his responsibility in oneness and equality with me
2.2.4.5.2 Reason for holding onto memory's Self-Corrective Statements:
2.2.4.5.2.1 Identify Self realisations to be lived
I realize and accept myself as one and equal with this memory as what exist within myself and one and equal with my father within and as the realization that who I am is a copy of my father therefore I am my father and thus cannot be influenced by him
I apply common sense and realize that all that I am as who I have become as the mind as thoughts feelings and emotions is all what I have copied and learned from my environment as my parents through reacting to them within the pre-programmed emotional reaction of fear, just how my parents allowed themselves to become copies of their parents by having allowed themselves to react to their parents with the emotional reaction of fear, thus separating themselves from themselves as their parents, just like I have allowed myself to separate myself from myself as my parents through fear
I realize that my reactions of guilt and fear is what I have allowed to exist within myself by not being honest with myself about who I am as oneness and equality, and by already having separated myself from my father and not standing one and equal with and as him within and as the realization that I am the product of my father, he raised me and all that I know about myself and the world in terms of what is apparently ‘good’ and ‘bad’ is what I copied from my parents, therefore my father is not responsible for the guilt that I experienced within myself
I realize that his expression towards me is what he has allowed to exist within himself as thoughts feelings and emotions that he copied from his father by having allowed himself to also blame his father for how he experienced himself towards him, therefore only I am truly capable of taking responsibility for myself and standing up within and as oneness and equality within and as self-respect
2.2.4.5.2.2 Write a practical Self-Script for when the reason for holding onto the memory comes up again
If and when I see the reason for holding on to the memory of my father getting upset with me and me reacting with the experience of guilt towards me as the blame that I experienced towards my father within myself coming up within myself – I breathe and I do not allow myself to be influenced or directed by the experience of blame towards my father because I realize that in blaming my father I am doing exactly the same as what I experienced him to have done unto me, which is trying to make him feel guilty about what he did as I felt guilty about what I did
So if and when I see the blame towards my father for the guilt that I experienced within the memory of him getting upset with me and blaming me for not having showed up for work and for apparently ‘not being good enough’ because I didn’t consider what the employer would think, want or expect from me – I breathe and I do not allow myself to define myself within the experience of blame, and I stand constant and stable within and as the realization that guilt and blame are two sides of the same polarity that exist within relationships as the relationship that I have created with my father by having separated myself from him by reacting to him with the emotional experience of fear. And I stand constant and stable within myself, taking full responsibility for myself within and as the realization that no one else is capable of taking responsibility for how I experience myself here except for me – and thus I realize that my father is responsible for how he experiences himself one and equal with me as I am responsible for how I experience myself within and as myself here
