zondag 18 januari 2009

2009 animals self forgiveness

animals
self forgiveness on animals

i forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to see animals as less than me
i forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to feel superior than animals
i forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to want to abuse the supposed power i have over animals because i can, because these beings let me
i forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to want to use and abuse beings that i perceive as weak because i have allowed myself to be abused by others because i have defined myself as weak, so i try to compensate
i forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to try to compensate the feeling of powerlessness, of worthlessness, of feeling abused, by desiring to abuse animals, that i have judged as powerless, less, inferior, dumb
i forgive myself for having accepted myself to become the manifestation of self abuse by wanting others to abuse and use me
i forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to think that beings who do not resemble me, are inferior
i forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to have the desire within me to abuse those that i see as inferior so i may feel powerful, because actually i ve given away my power to the mind consciousness system
i forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to exist within the illusion of power, seeing power as having power over another being, as a feeling, instead of realising myself as power as life as who i am HERE
i forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to abuse animals within sexual fantasies where i play out my desire to be abused and used by other beings due to me abusing myself by giving my power away to the mcs and where i project my feeling and belief of powerlessness onto those animals that i or others within these fantasies then abuse to generate exitement within myself to power and charge the mcs within myself that is based on the polarity of superiority and inferiority and the giving away of my power
i forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to completely disregard all that is of life due to me having become 'not life', a system, an illusion, and then go abuse and use life because i actually cannot stand to see vulnerable and innocent expression as what i have abused within myself: the truth of me
i forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to see my reality within and as inferior-superior polarity as who i have allowed myself to become: feeling inferior towards myself as my reality in separation of my reality
i forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to suppress my expression, the innocence and vulnerability that is of life that is who i truly am as life within myself and therefore, not recognise it within my reality anymore, as all that has become of me is system
i forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to turn a blind eye when i see animals being abused because i have more respect for humans as systems than for animals as life
i forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to abuse animals when i was a child, to put salt over a naked snail, to burn ants with a magnifying glass, because i thought it was 'cool', because i did not see animals as myself as i had suppressed myself as life due to me having given my power away to the system as thoughts feelings and emotions as ego
i forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to only consider me, i, as thoughts feelings and emotions, to only consider having a good feeling for myself, to feel good about myself and disregard anything or anyone else
i forgive myself for having accepted and allowed fear of surviving within myself, as an ego manifestation as self interest
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not want to actually face and see just to how extent i disregarded myself as life by having allowed myself to become a mind consciousness system
so i try to remain within thoughts feelings and emotions because i am afraid of facing myself, my true nature
i forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to want to play god over animals and small children because they will allow it
i forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior and powerless and then want and desire to play god over other beings and desire them to feel inferior
i forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to not take self responsability, to not take responsability for all as one as equal as myself as life as who i really am, because i want to survive as an ego, as a mind consciousness system
i forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to desire love and acceptance from an animal
i forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to feel 'more connected' with animals than with humans
i forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to hug and cuddle animals from the starting point of desiring love from another being and then use animals for that because they let themselves be treated that way as they are the simple innocent expression of life itself
i forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to desire a 'special bond' with an animal, a 'special friendship' because i am not willing to be unconditionally my friend, to be alone with me
i forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to not see all animals as all beings as my equals
i forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to desire being able to communicate with animals so i could get recognition from humans, as humans as systems have completely separated and alienated themselves from life, seeing this communicating with animals as some kind of marvel when actually it is their simplistic nature that they re not willing to accept
i forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to desire animals to listen to me
i forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to want to have power over animals, to want an animal that listens to my commands
i forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to want to boss a being around because i feel bossed around and i feel powerless towards other beings as i ve given away my power
in becoming a mind consciousness system
i forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from animals-'i name all's'-because i ve defined myself as 'human', which is apparently different from a being
i forgiv emyself for having allowed myself to define myself according to the way i look, which is human, and therefore think that i belong to the human species and am separate from all that does not resemble me in appearance and doings, 'capabilities'
i forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to see my thoughts as superior to life
i forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to see myself as superior to children
when actually within i know that i am not and that actually i ve degenerated because i allowed myself to become a mere system
i forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to become a system that cannot stand on its own and uses and abuses all beings around to survive
i forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to desire recognition for my thoughts from other beings
i forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to not realise that animals are actually far more evolved than i am because they take care of themselves, they are direct, they do not doubt, they are the living expression of only themselves as life within and as each moment
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel inferior towards animals
because i feel so much shame and regret and guilt for the way i treated them
i forgive myself for not just accepting and allowing myself to simply be HERE as one and equal to all beings and forever more stop the continuous cycle of regret, of inferiority vs superiority of system
i forgive myself for never having accepted and allowed myself to realise that animals are, like me, beings, they are not just pictures, different from my picture as my appearance
i forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to see human beings as 'more alive' than anymals
i forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to only see it that way because human beings support me in being a mind consciousness system that i ve allowed myself to become and animals dont, animals dont expect anything of me, they are just themselves, while humans expect things of me, they form opinions of me, they critisize me, which is exactly what i do
i forgive myself forhaving accepted and allowed myself to justify the fact that i ve allowed myself to become a mcs by thinking that 'other humans are the same' so apparantly i m not really entirely responsible for myself

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that other beings expect things of me, when it is me that expect things of them, i expect them to help me and assist me and support me

i forgiv emyself for accepting and allowing msyelf to feel ashamed and disgusted with myself because i desire relationships and i desire to be accepted from even animals and children and because i judge that as pervert and pedophile


i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within a constant feeling of inferiority, as if there is something, someone greater than me, because i actually constantly desire recognition so i deliberately place beings above me by giving them the power to either approve or disapprove of me

i forgive myself for not allowing myself to realise and recognise my reality as the only reality that exist

till here and no further:
i am HERE as all as one as equal
i am one and equal to all beings, animals, children, human beings
trees, plants, molecules, etc
i do not allow myself to desire acceptance or love or anything from anyone as all is HERE
i allow myself to be self expression, to express myself within and as innocence and vulnerability as life as who i am HERE

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