2012 "Love is Undefinable", How Convenient

"Love is Undefinable" "Love is a many splendid thing" "Love is all you need" "Love is what makes life worth living" "Love is a feeling"

These are but a few statements that are frequently made about 'love' and what 'love' apparently is in 'life'. However, has anyone of the spiritual masters, or guru's that spend their time telling everyone else just how wonderful 'love' is and how we all 'need love to live' and 'enrich our lives' ever actually explained what love is exactly? Nope, of course not. Because love, according to them, is to be worshiped like God. And love, just like God, works in mysterious ways and cannot, nay, must not be defined or depicted as it is 'a feeling' and is thus only real to the one that 'opens up to the possibility that love/God is real'.

The reason why I would even mention this to be an issue and a problem in this world - is because so many people become enchanted with the apparent 'greatness' and 'healing power' of 'love', so many people are absolutely convinced that 'love will save the world', 'love will end all hate', 'love will end all wars', 'love is what will fix this world and create a heaven for all' - all we have to do is trust in 'love'. Though what does prove itself to be quite problematic is this whole 'love is undefined/undefinable' point that seems to be inherent to the 'love-religion'. Because in all practicality, how will love practically and effectively be able to 'save the world and ourselves' and 'create heaven on earth'? Because if you say that 'love is the answer/solution', then you'd have to be more concise and concrete than to simply claim love to be 'undefinable' and assume that this vague description of an inner experience will do to in fact fix this world.

Love being undefinable is however the very essence of 'love', it is the cause of its very appealing power for many human beings - just like 'God' gets his appeal through being 'mysterious' and 'undefined', 'everywhere and all the time' and 'omnipresent' yet not concrete or actually part of the physical reality and therefore not actually ever to be truly understood. This is obviously the very reason why human beings would choose to believe in God in the first place, because of course if he were simply HERE as a part of the physical reality that we can touch and see, than we wouldn't have to BELIEVE in him in the first place, would we?

And the same goes for love - we choose to believe in love because it is not HERE and because the concept of there being 'more than what is here as the physical reality of ourselves' appeals to our curiosity and desire for sensation. And the reason why the spiritual leaders and guru's that so whole-heatedly present Love as 'the ultimate answer' would claim that love is unquestionably 'undefinable', is because if Love were to be defined then they'd lose their appeal, they'd lose their piggy bank as their apparently 'special, magical message' that so many feel enchanted by and curious towards because it offers them an excuse to participate within the belief that there is 'more to life' than their own lives, than their presence here in this physical reality.

If we have a look at reality and the actual consequences of this apparently glorious 'message of love' that is being spread around by so many 'self-help guru's', than we can see that the only thing that this 'undefinable love' is doing at the moment is to sedate people in their personal 'path' in search for 'love', swept off their feet by this 'higher experience' of love as 'the undefined', completely lost to the actual reality because they chose to believe in a concept that is per definition not real and can never be real as it is already defined as being 'undefined'. This creates quite a problem because beings then become lost within this realm of 'the undefinable inner experiences of love' of which they believe that they 'have found the answer', yet they cannot explain, define or pinpoint just how or why love is the answer exactly, or how love will in fact, effectively change the world - because as we established, 'love is undefined by its very definition'. And there you have it, the marvel of BELIEF and the reason why human beings will continuously choose this belief and their feelings over common sense and what is really HERE, because beliefs and feelings is like the snake that eats its own tale that keeps beings searching for 'the undefined' out of curiosity, never realizing that 'the undefined' will never be found/defined as it is 'undefined' per definition.

Would it not make more sense though that for there to be a real effective answer to this 'defined world/reality' that is the physical reality, as that which we can touch and see, that is HERE and that follows certain laws and orders - this answer must also be defined, meaning, practical and physically lived/liveable. Therefore if we are going to claim that 'love is the answer', we would have to make damn sure that this 'love' will eventually become physically visible. Though of course, here those that profess love as undefinable also have an answer ready, and that is that 'this reality is energy', thus it is not real and the only thing that is 'real' is the undefinable experiences such as love within ourselves - I'd say that is the perfect tool to keep beings in an absolutely passive state and have them never actually move themselves within this reality because they trust that 'their energetic inner state' will fix everything like magic, quite similar to how television has effectively brainwashed us into constructing an imaginary world within ourselves wherein we can feel like the hero, though never actually doing anything that makes any difference in this world because we are so caught up with these inner 'movements of energetic experiences' that we don't even seem to notice that we aren't actually doing anything in real life, in the physical reality that is HERE, we've just become slaves to our own minds as 'the world where everything is possible', though nevertheless a world that is completely submitted to the physical human body and the physical reality.

If 'love' is ever to be real and to be the 'answer' for us to fix this world and clean up the mess that we as humanity have created here in this physical existence - then we're going to have to be specific in defining, explaining and describing what 'love' is and especially who we are when we say such statements as 'I am love' - because to say that 'I am love' and then claim that 'love is undefinable', is nothing but a cop-out to not in fact make a statement of yourself in this reality and to not really stand for anything at all.

So, then what would love be as an actual living statement of self? How can we make 'love' into an actual real living experience that is the expression of this physical reality and not just a personal inner energetic experience that is based on faith, assumptions and belief? To live as the statement of 'I am love' is for instance to make sure that all life may exist within and as this statement and to do whatever it takes to get this entire reality as all that exists here, to change according to who self is as what is best for all. Because after all, what is best for me, should obviously be what is best for all life, therefore why shouldn't I then support and create a world wherein all life-forms may live according to what is best. If I am not willing to give my life for this, than I cannot claim to be 'love' - or then that means that my personal definition of 'love' is completely screwed up and nothing but selfishness.


This is why it is important that we find out the words that we live and are willing to live/exist as - and that we make sure that each and every word that we define ourselves according to is in fact clearly understood within what it practically means to live these definitions in this world, so as to not create unnecessary and unpleasant consequences for ourselves.


Investigate Desteni and Equal Money

I fear Ending up on the Streets

Hey there,


I'm going to share with you a fear that has been existing within me for a long time, which is the fear of ending up on the streets.

This is a fear that I have basically picked up from my parents and grandparents as they often used that phrase of 'what if you end up on the streets?!' when trying to get me to understand just how important it is to have money in this world - to have money and obviously a job.

And it worked, because here I am, absolutely terrified of 'ending up on the streets', and thus terrified of losing my job, my house, my money, which I see as my only security in this reality.

I live in constant fear of losing my job, of being fired, of not being able to pay my bills - which would lead me to 'end up on the streets'.

And obviously now with the 'economical crises' in Europe and basically all over the world - the chances are rising that I would one day actually lose my job and 'end up on the streets', just like so many people are right now really physically living on the streets.

Fear of being Ugly

Hey there,


I'd like to share a fear that has always existed within me (maybe not ALWAYS, but definitely since I was around 12) - the fear of being 'ugly'.

This fear specifically was with regards to being judged by (back then) the other kids on the playground and from my class as being 'ugly' and 'unattractive', which also had a lot to do with 'there being something wrong with me'.

'Something wrong' would then be like not looking like how a 'normal girl' would/should look like, because I started to notice that the boys and girls were judging each other, and I of course went along with it. The boys would often even be really mean when they were describing a girl, especially about certain aspects of that girl that were apparently 'undesirable' and 'not good' - they would completely bash this person in their words and 'laugh at them' among each other, confirming just how 'not good' this girl was in their eyes.

And the girls would do pretty much the same amongst themselves about the other girls and boys - and the judgments were always basically about whether or not a girl was deemed 'feminine' enough and a boy was deemed 'masculine' enough according to certain standards and qualities/properties that apparently defined 'a woman' and 'a man'. Thus boys that had feminine aspects/qualities about their appearance and mannerism would be negatively judged and basically put down and rejected in the words we'd speak to describe them among ourselves and the girls that had masculine qualities and mannerism would be judged and rejected in the same way. For instance I remember overhearing a group of boys talking about a girl that had a 'mustache' (she had a little bit darker hair on her upper lip) - which then initiated my fear of 'having a mustache' because apparently boys actually notice, judge and reject this. So based on this particular memory, I would walk around my entire life with an immense fear of 'having a mustache' and especially of boys/men seeing it, thinking of various ways to effectively get rid of any dark hair that I may have on my upper lip.

And what is interesting is that eventually I would even physically manifest this fear, because I would notice some darker hair on my upper lip (not even that noticeable really) and immediately I'd start pulling it out, because I felt this absolute panic of being judged about it by boys/men - so obviously what happened is that the hair grew back, only darker, which caused me to panic even more and start pulling it out more fervently. And eventually now I have to continuously remove the hair on my upper lip because it tends to grow longer and darker than on the rest of my face. So this just shows how extensively this fear has been messing with my head


So, this 'fear of being ugly' is really a fear of being 'unattractive', of being 'rejected' by boys/men as a fear of not being able to have a relationship - which means to not be able to 'play the sex-game' wherein we all seem to be players and the girls that are deemed to be 'feminine' and the men that are deemed to be 'masculine', are glorified and get all the 'attention'/'prizes' and the ones who apparently 'don't fit the part' don't get to play and are then the 'social outcasts'. This is a seriously sad and messed up game that we're playing here within and as humanity!

2012 When is 'Inner Revolution' real?

"In my view, the revolution within is the one that leads to fundamental change. It is a revolution without conflict, without fanfare and without the comfort of camaraderie. It is an individual enterprise in which we observe our minds to expose the “I” that splinters the world with its desire for recognition. To me, this is the revolution most worthy of our attention." ( from the article "Gearing up for Revolution")


As long as there exist the idea that there is an apparent 'difference' between the 'inner revolution' and the 'outer revolution', one exist in separation of self and self-dishonesty. When one stand within and as self-honesty as oneness and equality here, then all self-movement is simply here, without any 'distinction' or 'difference' or 'separation' between what is apparently 'in' and what is apparently 'out', as all is Self, one and equally here.

Therefore the 'outer revolution' with for instance Equal Money is the 'natural' expression of self within and as oneness and equality - wherein self move self within and as the realization of what is necessary to be done to sort out this physically manifested reality that self has constructed over time through self's participation in the mind as self-interested separation.

Only those who remain stuck in their unconscious fears towards the apparent 'outer world' that is actually their own self-created inner world of the mind as separation, will not in fact move themselves and claim 'inner peace' in apparent separation of the 'outer war' - instead of realizing that all war only exist in self as this entire 'inner vs outer' is a mind-created illusion reality that serves to hide the truth of self as absolutely responsible for all that exist, because all exist here, one and equal with and as self here.

To further understand this point - you may ask yourself 'why do I separate outer from inner reality in the first place?' and 'what is it that creates the apparent separation between outer and inner reality?' because the answer to this is 'fear'. Fear is the friction/energy that creates that sensation/experience that there is an 'inner' and an 'outer' reality - so no matter how much one focuses on the apparent 'inner peace' and experience this 'inner peace', as long as there exist the idea/experience of there being an 'outer reality' that in some way differs from the 'inner reality, one exist in fear and all inner peace is illusion and self-deception.

If this 'inner peace' were real, as a self-honest self-expression - then ones world would be 'peaceful', then the world/reality would be the absolute manifested expression of 'peace' - then every particle, atom, structure and life-form in existence would exist as this 'peace'. Yet it does not - there only exist this apparent 'inner peace' that so many claim to be 'who they are' as an inner, personal experience that exist in separation of an apparent 'outer reality' that is the manifested expression in war.

So, these beings are simply not willing to take responsibility for what actually exist here as reality - as they'd rather believe that they in some way exist separately from what is here as this physically manifested existence, because they don't want to face themselves as what exist here as what is here at the moment is hell. And so they'll claim 'inner revolution', that is in fact but a self-created energetic experience that validate the self-image of 'I am a peaceful/enlightened/spiritual being', not willing to consider that the reality of self may not be what we'd expect it to be.

Why is Desteni different from 'the power of NOW' and 'mindfulness'? What Desteni stands for is to get to know oneself and reality, instead of simply 'becoming peaceful within'. 'The power of NOW' and' mindfulness' is based on the principle/belief that one must become quiet within the mind, that one must stop all thoughts, to become peaceful within, so that one may be able to change the world without to also become peaceful. However the question is not asked of 'but how did we really get this way in the first place?' and 'why are we not peaceful already?'. It is believed that one will 'get to know oneself' by observing ones thoughts, feelings and emotions as the 'inner conflict', though if one have a look at ones starting point in this 'observation', it is from the desire to eventually 'be able to' 'quiet the mind', which implies that there still exist some polarity of trying to get away from something and trying to get to somewhere. For instance trying to get away from 'war' and 'conflict' and trying to get to/reach 'peace' - through 'observation'.

Yet, within this, one is still not aware of why, how, who or what this is all about and who self actually is and what this entire reality is actually about - the only thing that is focused on within this is 'war vs peace' - to get from war/conflict to peace, be it inner or outer or both, simply assuming that that is our 'purpose' in life, to become 'peaceful', without questioning what the hell is going on in the first place that got us in this fucked up state of apparent 'conflict'.

What Desteni represents is that one do not simply assume anything about self or reality - but rather go and thoroughly investigate self, without expectations or predisposition. And this can only be done through applying self-forgiveness, and not by observing. Because have a look, what we do in this 'observing' the 'inner reality' - is in fact separating ourselves from ourselves, separating ourselves from the apparent 'conflict' within ourselves by merely standing on the sidelines watching it, slowly but surely quieting down and becoming 'peaceful' as one do not participate in the thoughts anymore. And then, when that 'state' of inner peace is obtained, one becomes a 'master', an 'enlightened being', that shows everyone else what they were able to achieve as inner peace, attempting to 'make the world a peaceful place' by hoping that everyone then become like them and follow their lead just like they followed the lead of other masters and enlightened beings.

Yet there was never any awareness of self as the creator of this 'inner conflict'. No real responsibility was ever taken for the inner experience as one only focused on attaining this 'peaceful state' and believed that 'that is who i really am' - and because one did not walk backwards through ones life to trace back the steps that self undertook to slowly but surely 'become' and 'grow into' this 'inner conflicted being', therefore there was no real self-discovery or -investigation. And because of this lack of true understanding of how self has actually constructed this 'inner conflict' through time as the mind - one will obviously never be able to take any real responsibility for this world because one did not take responsibility for self - by not standing one and equal with and as self, but rather simply changing the 'personality-suits' from being an 'inner conflicted being' to being an 'inner peaceful being'.


So Get real with Desteni and stand up as a self-responsible being that stands within and as the principle of oneness and equality as what is best for ALL.

And discover this truly enlightening interview series - the "What is Sex?" Interview series that explain in detail just how we have, since the dawn of man as consciousness systems, constructed this physical reality as the manifested expression of who we have allowed ourselves to become as separation.

2012 Is Individuality a Program? Unraveling the Design.

Century of Self

In the documentary 'Century of Self', the 'transformation' of the human being from a being that simply works/lives for survival to a 'spiritual being' as one that desires for there to be more to 'life' than merely surviving is very well laid out, walking through the changes in society that created the changes in the self-perception and world-view of the human being.

This documentary clearly shows that there is much more to ourselves than who we believe/think ourselves to be, that there are factors that determine and shape our very personality and experience of ourselves that we've always taken for granted - more specifically these factors are the economic system as businesses and corporations that shaped our society and our experience of ourselves within it that we know today.

It is fascinating that the human being never really sees itself as a part of a bigger picture, in that is very gullible and naive as it will believe and copy its environment very quickly and easily, quite like a robot/computer is able to be programmed by inserting certain programs as knowledge and information about 'who/what it is', 'why it is' and 'what it is here to do'. The human being will construct its views and experiences of itself and 'reality' based on copied and accepted information and experiences rather than to investigate itself and reality to find out what is really going on within and as 'the bigger picture'.

Therefore the human being as who/what it is today will never truly consider itself to be but a product of certain events, changes and evolutionary processes that occurred in the past, and it will simply live out its 'programming' based on for instance the belief of 'individuality' - without even realizing or noticing that this concept of 'individuality' in itself is a concept/idea that was 'programmed into us' by our environment.

This is a point that is very well explained and laid out in this documentary 'Century of Self' - wherein they show what changes the society went through in terms of new scientific development that in turn shaped the external factors of society that shape a human beings perception/experience of itself and the world

Shaping the individual through consumerism

The 'scientific development' that made a great impact on the economic (and later on the political) landscape was specifically the theories and discoveries of Sigmund Freud. He discovered that the human has a subconscious and unconscious mind/layer underneath its conscious mind that is actually the driving force of the human being in this world, and these 'sub-layers' are filled with various hidden and suppressed emotional experiences and desires that could trigger a being into doing irrational acts --which then implies that the human being would actually be very easily influenced and directed by someone/something who knows how the mind works and who knows how to push the unconscious/subconscious 'buttons'.


With the advice of Edward Bernays, Freud's nephew and 'public relations adviser', the Business world would eventually apply Freud's theory in their advertisement and marketing strategies to direct, channel and use the unconscious desires of human beings to their advantage, by linking their products through symbols to unconscious desires of the human being. Thus, consumerism started because corporations and industries were no longer only focusing on what the human needed to live/survive, but on what the human (unconsciously) desired --which didn't necessarily have anything to do with what they needed.

And so, also the idea of 'individuality' started growing - wherein human beings were supported in advertisement to 'express their uniqueness' and 'individuality' through the products that they buy. 'to live' became equal to 'to consume/buy', as people would basically be presented with this new idea that they are 'an individual' and that this 'individuality' must be cultivated through buying certain products to show to the world the kind of individual that you are.

The idea that arose at this point was that the human being is 'so much more' than merely a being that tries to survive in this world. This notion of there apparently being 'so much more'/'something special' to the human being, which was called into being by corporations seeking to make more money through going from a market of limited needs/demand to one with ever changing demand/needs , is what would lay the basic foundation for the 'spiritual personality' that we are growing into today - as we search ever more diligently for our 'special purpose in life' and for 'who we really are' as the apparent specialness of our human existence.

The power of powerlessness

Now, this was happening around the 1950's, starting in the US. Based on Freud's theories about the unconscious mind, governments and corporations sought to use and direct these inner unconscious desires of 'the masses' towards a specific mind-set that benefited both the political and economical world - because, as Freud claimed, the inner desires of the human being are inherently evil and therefore must be suppressed/repressed, and at the same time conformed to a single goal that is to be determined by those in power.

However, towards the 60's, people started to 'rebel' against this conformity, ignited by a few people like Wilhelm Reich and Martin Luther King - large protests and campains were held by students on American campuses against the society that they apparently had to conform to, which was capitalism, religious doctrines, racial segregation and manipulation through advertisement as these students began to notice that consumerism is in fact a way to keep the people docile and distracted while the government could wage its violent war in Vietnam without being questioned. These 'rebels' were then seen as the 'new left', to which the government reacted very violently in their attempt to keep 'the masses' controlled, contained and conformed.

As a reaction to this violent attack from the government that in a way rendered the 'new left' with a feeling of powerlessness towards ever being able to change the status quo - they turned to a new ideology: "If it is impossible to get the policeman out of ones head by overthrowing the state, instead one should find a way of getting inside ones own mind and removing the controls implanted there by the state and corporations".

This new idea sounded in the era of the 'new self', the 'self-actualized human being' - based on the idea that 'the external world, like governments and the economic system doesn't need to be changed - as the human is perfectly capable of being happy/creating happiness within its own mind'.

From this, many 'spiritual movements' and therapies came forth that supported the human in cultivating this 'inner happiness' and 'self-actualization' and thus human beings again felt like they had found purpose and meaning to their lives, they found their point of 'individuality' wherein they were apparently freed from the grip of the corporations and the governments that were apparently trying to conform them into docile slaves.

Though what was not realized is that they may have felt as though the world has changed by cultivating 'inner change' through generating certain inner experiences, yet the political and economical structures that actually shaped and governed the world and the lives of each human being were still here and still very much in control. In fact, they were very busy searching for new ways of using and directing this 'new self' to their advantage.

What actually happened here was that the hold of the political and economical structures on people and the separation between those in power and 'the masses' only became stronger/bigger as politics and economics in a way moved to the background into the 'unseen' as human beings now existed within this belief that 'the inner experience shapes the world'. In this they never realized that this 'state of mind' only made them more vulnerable to being manipulated by those 'unseen forces' that were actually governing their lives.

Human beings became completely consumed by the idea of individuality, wherein 'the self' as the inner experience of self stepped into the foreground and took the center stage - losing all touch with the basic foundational structures that direct and govern this world, as they had 'given up' when they stood in the face of the violence exerted towards them by their own government. Instead of facing this inner defeat and being self-honest about what is really going on to continue to look for a way to change the basic infrastructures of this world to create a world that is best for all, they gave in to the defeat by looking away from it and distracting themselves by creating the opposite experience within themselves, which was that of 'self-glorification' as the belief that 'if I change myself on the inside, then the outside world will magically change'.

This never actually worked as human beings didn't even realize their very starting point of wanting to 'change their inner self', which was the experience of powerlessness towards the world. This glorification of the inner experience was in fact but an excuse that human beings used to not take part in the world anymore, to not have to deal with the reality of what it would actually take to in fact change this world - as they had accepted themselves as 'powerless towards the powers that be', 'powerless towards the world-structures'. So the only power they could experience was inside of themselves wherein they apparently had the power to 'become whoever they wanted to be'.

Out of this flowed various forms of apparently fantastic, wondrous, great and glorious 'inner experiences' such as 'love, peace and understanding' with the hippie-movement in the 70's, in which they placed their faith, hope and trust that these 'wonderful inner experiences' will 'magically' change the world. Yet - it obviously never did as beings would continuously overlook the actual real workings of this world because they didn't want to be confronted anymore with the very things they feared and felt powerless towards.

The consequences of individuality

As a result and outflow of these 'evolutions' in the mind-set of human beings due to various events in society - what we now have is a human being that is lost within its 'self-glorification' as the idea that 'my individuality and my inner experiences is all that exist', that is cunningly directed by corporations to 'keep the economy going' and by governments to ensure that 'the masses' will never again question 'the powers that be'. We are now in an age of mass ignorance that grew over time - as a result of human beings accepting their apparent inherent powerlessness towards this world and towards creating a world that is best for all, eventually turning towards the 'light' of spirituality and television that feed an inner experience of power. Yet we never realized that this experience of power is not actual power - it is actually powerlessness in disguise.

This explains why many beings react with aversion and rejection towards the message and idea of an Equal Money system as a political solution that aims at bringing about practical change in this world in fact, using the basic infrastructures that is here - because people don't want to be confronted with reality anymore, as they'd rather believe in the light and the positive inner experiences as the illusion of power. We have at this point in time become so disconnected from what is real because we fear what is real, we fear the government, we fear economics, we fear money and what it could do to us, we fear the power of the system, we fear police - because we have come to identify ourselves with the experience of powerlessness towards the capitalist system and politics, and we have even accepted it as 'reality' that is apparently 'unchangeable' as if it were designed by the very hand of God, never to be questioned by us 'common folks'. Therefore apparently our only choice is to distract ourselves with love and light and inner experiences, to at least create the feeling that we have power.

Is there a solution?

What this 'Century of Self' documentary clearly reveals and exposes is that the human perception and experience of 'self' as 'an individual' at this point in time is in fact a 'construct'/program that has been built up over time through 'shifts in consciousness' that occurred as reactions to certain situations/events that happened - very similar to how differences in 'mentality' between cultures are defined and shaped within major events that happened in the timeline of that particular culture, that caused the beings within that specific 'culture'/country to react a certain way and thus 'shift' their understanding/consciousness of themselves and the world.

So, what this essentially implies is that we as 'individuals' as a collection of thoughts feelings and emotions within ourselves that we call 'our identity/personality' - are/is a program and that we/it can thus be 'de-programmed'.

The reason why this realization is so important is because it is clear to see that we have become lost in our programming and we have made a mess of this reality, because we never realized ourselves as who/what we are, which is basically programmable robots. Once we realize that we have been programmed, we can de-program ourselves and 'recreate ourselves' into a being that stands as what is best for all life within and as the self-directive principle of life, to ensure that we never allow ourselves to make such a mess of reality ever again.

Visit www.desteni.org to get to the practical how-to of the process of de-programming that is ahead for each one of us - so that we may stand up to direct this reality without fear and practically create a world wherein each living being can live in dignity.

And read about the Equal Money system to get to know what is possible within this world - in the first book about Equal money 'The Future of Money - Volume 1'

2012 Introduction to Self-Forgiveness - Realizing Self as Life

In the beginning of the year 2008 I discovered Desteni and the Process of self-forgiveness. I initially felt attracted to their website because of the portal video's that I watched on Youtube, which I felt were very peculiar and intriguing.

Quickly I learned about this 'self-forgiveness' process as what Desteni was in fact all about. All their video's of Sunette channeling various different beings and manifestations were cool and interesting, but if one watch the video's, one would realize that the message of every being communicating through the portal always comes down to pretty much the same thing - which is the process of self-forgiveness and that the human must stop the mind and become aware of itself as life. And this was actually quite cool, that the dimensions from Hitler to a fly on the wall to Kurt Cobain spoke as one, with one message - which differs substantially from what I am used to in this world of millions of different human beings, all with their own personal message about what is apparently 'real' and 'the truth' -- it tends to get confusing.

And that was pretty much the mind-set that I was experiencing myself in/as when and before I found Desteni, one of confusion as it seemed clear to me that according to humanity there is no one answer to life, to what is going on in this world - though it is clear that something is going on, something really fishy is going on. Yet, each being in my environment and throughout the world would have their own personal answer about what the problems are and what the solutions are - and each one would talk about them as though what they are saying is the one true answer.

The fascinating and intriguing thing about Desteni that appealed to me very much was that they would share what they realized about what is going on in reality, but they would urge all to come to those realizations for themselves through applying the process of self-forgiveness, as they had done themselves. And that is why I decided to give self-forgiveness a try - because I realized and knew instantly that this is probably the closest thing I will ever get to finding out what is real for myself, which is by doing it for myself, finding out for myself.

There did come a point where I was faced with these paranoid thoughts and fears within myself of Desteni possibly being a cult as what I had heard many beings in my direct and indirect environment say about Desteni - but I quickly realized that the 'cult-point' basically has to do with a desire to belong with a group and to give my power away to a group that existed within myself, which I had actually been doing my entire life and I realized that the only way to make absolutely sure that I am not part of a cult is to stop these desires within myself by forgiving them and to stand alone within and as myself, within full awareness of who I am here.

Self-forgiveness is a tool to be used alone, in the alone-ness of myself, and really doesn't have anything to do with Desteni. In applying self-forgiveness is where I take the time to look within myself at who I am as what exist within myself of thoughts, feelings and emotions. It is fascinating to realize now how unaware I was back then of myself - by for instance never even noticing these thoughts, feelings and emotions within myself, never even considering to look at them and ask myself 'Where does all this stuff come from?' and 'Is this really me?', as I had always accepted this 'inner hidden reality' as 'normal' and 'who I am' while at the same time not even knowing anything about myself as to how I got the way I was and why I was experiencing myself the way I was.

The one point that makes the application of self-forgiveness stick out from and kick but of all other 'self-help' methods or spiritual guidance, messages and practices with regards to changing oneself, is the point of self-responsibility. As this is the one point that I found to be crucial in my process of self-change. There are many things about myself that I have throughout my life always accepted as 'who I am', for instance certain emotional experiences towards my family and friends, most of which I experienced unconsciously (so I wasn't even directly aware of actually experiencing myself as such) - that I have been able to simply stop only by realizing my self-responsibility through applying self-forgiveness. And this is something that I never considered even possible as I had already believed myself to be 'unchangeable' and thus in a way a victim of myself as my inner experiences.

So, how does that work? When one applies self-forgiveness, one actually says "I realize and place myself as the point of God/creator of myself and thus responsible for how I experience myself and I forgive myself for what I have done unto myself through thoughts, feelings and emotions and thus set myself free from the belief that I am 'but a victim of God/Creator/Creation' and give myself a chance to stand up as a new being". This is a direct 'self-communication' - 'indirect self-communication' would then be like thoughts that simply run rampantly through ones mind dictating ones every move without self even being remotely aware of where these thoughts come from.

With self-forgiveness as direct self-communication, one takes responsibility for what one allows to exist within oneself and what not. This is why the point of 'writing out the thought patterns, feelings and emotional experiences' in self-honesty is so important, as one firstly needs to become aware of what it is that actually exist within self - because as long as these thoughts and experiences remain hidden, they are not seen and thus not considered and realized as what is in fact driving and directing self within the existence of self here in reality.

Self Responsibility enables Self-Change

Through having applied self-forgiveness since 2008 - with a few years where I did not participate (see my vlog 'How I fell in Process and stood back up' that I made on this point) - I eventually realized what it is 'all about', which is that one singular point of taking/realizing self-responsibility, because whenever I would apply self-forgiveness on a certain point (=belief system/self-experience) within myself, the point wherein I would actually be able to release this point and truly change myself would be when/where I realized how I had always been personally responsible for the creation of this point within myself, no matter what it was.

And the only way to actually 'reach' this point of realizing self-responsibility is through applying self-forgiveness as the direct self-communication of making it clear to self that 'I see what exist within myself and I take responsibility for it here and now', which we start to do with all our conscious thoughts and work our way 'down' from there, peeling off layer by layer of the entire mind-construct.

Initially, in the beginning of my process - I would just write self-forgiveness lists about everything and anything, and I actually really enjoyed it. I enjoyed the fact that for once in my life I could be honest with myself as to what actually exist within myself, I enjoyed being able to write down the thoughts, memories and experiences that I had always kept hidden within the belief that they are 'bad' and should thus not be spoken or written, that in fact I should hide them within myself from the rest of the world and exist forever more in fear of human beings finding out what actually exist inside of myself as all those hidden thoughts. I knew in my gut that this is the real deal, this is how it should have always been, which is brutal self-honesty, not being afraid to look myself in the eyes and being able to stand in the face of all that exist within myself without shame, guilt or regret.

A major point for me wherein I have changed substantially within the process of self-forgiveness, is self-trust - I have calmed down a lot since the beginning of my process (which is really visible in my vlog-timeline) as I learned to trust myself more and more in taking responsibility for my inner experiences through getting to know myself and becoming aware of how I created myself into who I became as the mind.

Humanity and the Process of Self-Forgiveness

This is why self-forgiveness is the only way through which the human being will ever change into a respectful being that is able to take responsibility for its existence here on earth - because as long as we do not face ourselves in self-honesty, look ourselves in the eyes and take responsibility for ourselves through realizing who we are and how we got this way, no real change is possible and humanity will forever more remain lost looking for answers - eventually destroying itself and earth as it finds itself to not be able to co-exist in a 'peaceful' way with earth and the animal kingdom due to not even being aware of itself as life, as the creator, as 'God'.

There are no excuses for our unawareness, because at the moment we are literally robots taking orders from our own thoughts that come from 'God-knows-where', trying to find a way to 'manage' and 'control' ourselves and this world, trying to find an escape from our fears, stress and frustrations - and all the while claiming that we apparently have 'free-choice', when really how can that be when we're not even aware of who we are and how we got the way we are. How can freedom exist without self-awareness?!

And the ones who are suffering the most of our unawareness is nature, animals and children - which then backfires on all of us again as we don't even realize that we need nature and animals to survive and we need our children to become responsible human beings that manage earth in a respectful, dignified and responsible way - which is at this point not the case as we who teach them are definitely not the living example of what is best for life here.


So, I would definitely suggest the process of self-forgiveness to all who read this - old or young, male or female, because we are all here on this one planet, therefore we must all become aware of our presence here, of who we are as one and equal to life so that we may direct this reality to become a heaven on earth for all living beings one and equal with ourselves!

2012 A child that died from Leukemia enlightens us about Reality

In this interview "History of the Interdimensional Portal - Part 2", a child comes through that died from leukemia a few years ago at the time the portal opened and the process of stopping the mind started in Heaven.

Listening to this fascinating interview, I very much enjoyed the absolute clarity, sincerity and unconditional nature of the child's expression - which made the 'story' that he was sharing very unique and absolutely interesting.

Having lived a short life full of pain as he suffered from leukemia and died of it, he looks at certain questions about life that, when we have a look at it, are in fact very valid though they have always been brushed off by us 'adults' living in this world as 'childish questions' - such as "why have I come into this world only to be sick - then what is life/reality?". Being confronted with questions like this, we've managed to create all sorts of sugar-coated reasons and excuses to not in fact truly consider this question and ask it towards ourselves, by believing that for instance 'everything in life has a purpose' and 'God works in mysterious ways' that apparently serve to validate and justify the sheer horror that lots of beings go through while existing here on earth for example within experiencing sickness like leukemia.

Listening to him sharing his experience and his observations towards life, I was able to realize that we human beings would actually be quite able to stop all the various atrocities and pain in this reality if we would only look at this question in self-honesty instead of turning away from it by looking for a purpose and reason for the suffering of the world in 'God' and his apparent 'mysterious ways and reasons'. If we would only stop for a moment and look at what is really going on in reality, inside ourselves and inside the world that we exist in - and realize that this is simply not an acceptable way of existing, no matter what kind of 'special purpose or reason' that 'God' may or may not have for all of it.

I loved hearing his story about how he experienced the first moments after he died, what he did and what he saw, and then when he first met the portal - as this opened up a lot of common sense perspectives on reality for myself that I had not considered within my existence here.

As I am in the process of stopping my mind, slowly but surely I am starting to consider another being as myself, wherein I can place myself in their shoes to consider and see that for instance what this child is sharing with us, is not 'just a story', it is real as he is a real being just like me. I am able to understand, while listening to these interviews of beings that share their experience of themselves and heaven through the portal, that there is much about this reality that is not being considered by us human beings at all - there are beings that are suffering unimaginable pains simply because the rest of us isn't willing to realize ourselves as one and equal with them, to place ourselves in their shoes and see what we are actually allowing to exist in this reality.

This interview is definitely a revelation to hear - a child speaking of their experience within dying of leukemia and of how they saw/see the world.

The interview is available for free through Youtube - enjoy!:

The first and third interviews of 'History of the Interdimensional portal' can be found on the Eqafe Online Store: