Dr. Wayne Dyer Watch your Words!

"Your past history and all of your hurts are no longer here in your physical reality. Don't allow them to be here in your mind, muddying your present moments. Your life is like a play with several acts. Some of the characters who enter have short roles to play, others, much longer. But all are necessary, otherwise they wouldn't be in the play. Embrace them all, and move on to the next act." ~Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

Dr. Wayne W. Dyer is an internationally renowned author and speaker in the field of self-development, and this is a statement that I have plucked off his Facebook page, where he frequently posts random statements such as this one - which are then supported by thousands of comments of people that follow his posts, that are mostly all along the lines of "I appreciate you sharing your wisdom with me and all others...know you inspire me because what you say makes sense,,,we all need sense in our life...thanks", "Just like as you read my feelings :)", "Wow! Great words of wisdom! I ♥ u", etc... to quote but a few of the many words of praise to our good doctor Dyer that so skillfully seems to be able to pluck our heartstrings and make us feel as though his words are the 'one and only truth'.

Though I am going to take this blog and this time to take but one random quote from him and actually investigate what he said in his words and what his words actually imply - because there is a thing that I have learned about the human mind, which is that we will never listen to the words of a song when somehow the tune has struck an 'inner cord' that make us feel all warm and fuzzy inside, resulting in the human singing the words over and over again like a robot, just for the sake of how the tune makes us feel, slowly but surely brainwashing itself into living out these words without ever even noticing a thing.

If one were to scratch the surface of the above quote by Dr. Dyer, one would see that most likely the reason why so many like to believe that he is 'telling the truth' and is 'spreading wisdom' that makes us feel so good inside, is because within his words he offers a nice excuse for us to not take any responsibility for ourselves.


Have a look at what he says after mentioning what so many beings struggle with, which is themselves, their past, their history, their memories of pain, loss, sadness, anger, regret, shame and fear:

"Your life is like a play with several acts. Some of the characters who enter have short roles to play, others, much longer. But all are necessary, otherwise they wouldn't be in the play. Embrace them all, and move on to the next act."

Translated, this is the same as saying:

"You are in no way responsible for the mess that you have made of yourself and your life, of the feelings and emotions you experience within yourself and the regret that you experience - so for the sake of bullshitting yourself into believing that, just tell yourself that there is a 'divine force' that is directing your life, you are here to just 'enjoy the ride' and obviously you should never question why there has to be a 'ride' in the first place or why you should even be directed instead of you directing you. Never ever question yourself or this reality.

Never stop within yourself and face what you have created in your life - just 'turn the page' as if nothing happened and make yourself believe that 'if you just close your eyes, it isn't there anymore' as if that isn't the exact same infantile reasoning that we so often make fun of when we see a baby doing that. Remain a slave of your own life, directed by the 'characters' and 'acts' that apparently get sent your way, blaming God for not taking care of your life when things are not going according to how you want the 'movie' of your life to go - but hey, when you're buying Dr. Dyers books and going to his seminars, that must mean that you've got enough money to support the illusion that God loves you and that your life is a Hollywood movie with you as the star."


Consider for a moment that he is a 'Doctor', a 'Phd.', a 'counselor', someone that has a degree in 'telling people what is going on here', and all that he is clearly doing is telling people what they like to hear instead of what they need to hear. In no way is this taking any responsibility for anything but his own wallet, which, lets face it, is the only thing all and any doctors have ever really been doing. There has never been anyone in this world, and especially not those that are waving their certificates, degrees and Phd.'s around as apparent 'proof' of the value of their words, that has ever taken any responsibility for anything - otherwise we would not be so easily played by pretty words like this as we would not be so desperate to feel good about ourselves and this world. Because the truth is that there is nothing 'good' about this world. So no wonder that the ones who make the most money in this world are the ones who are the best at packaging and selling us the lie, the deception of 'positive feelings'.



Investigate Desteni if you are ready to stop bullshitting yourself with 'wise words' that have no real value what so ever and that only aim to further support the illusion that the wealthy of this world desire to get lost in - This world is not a Hollywood movie!!! Your life isn't either and the sooner you realize that all the beings in this reality begging for our attention daily are not 'characters' but actual beings just like you and me, the sooner we can stand up and direct this world to become a place where all can enjoy life unconditionally.

2012 I Fear the System

I fear formality, bureaucracy, 'seriousness', neutrality, the color grey, rules, regulations, structures, laws, abstraction, agreements, systems, and everything that has anything to do with 'the system' in this world. Because I have always seen 'the system' of laws, rules and regulations about human interaction (which is all pretty much based on economics - wherein people are being forced to 'play nice' in the game of capitalism and not abuse each other too much) as 'dead', as 'not alive' - while what I saw and experienced as 'alive' was the social interaction that occurred between myself and my family and friends and peers - which was 'informal' and 'lose' wherein we apparently did not follow any rules or codes and were apparently able to 'be ourselves', compared to 'the rest of the world' which was a tight system wherein everything follows rules and wherein 'life' has no real value as each one is truly but a number in a computer system database.

And you're somewhat 'lucky' when you were born in a system that calls itself 'socialist' and that apparently is designed to care about you (wherein beings then tend to get lost in an enormous amount of rules, regulations, agreements and theories about how to treat each other, to make sure that all goes according to the 'socialist vision' - which is obviously also just a tight, closed system that in itself doesn't give a shit about 'life' as the beings being directed within and by this system).

I have always seen a big distinction between 'the system' that is apparently 'dead' as all the formalities, codes, rules and regulations that are required of me in social interaction in this world wherein laws determine everything and wherein each one is really just fending for themselves, and 'who I am' as apparently 'life' wherein I felt like I was only able to 'be myself' in relationships with certain beings that I called my 'friends' and 'family'.

I placed much value in creating relationships with people, through all sorts of 'behavior' that would serve as 'glue' that bring us closer together - such as making jokes (=making the other person laugh), being nice and caring, being friendly, smiling, laughing at their jokes, finding points of interest and talking about them, confirming the other person in their beliefs and opinions, always agreeing with the other person, which basically all evolve around trying to make the other person feel good and nice so that I could also feel good about myself --based on the idea that who I am exist in relationships with other human beings and that I can thus only 'be myself' when other people like me and thus create a relationship in their mind with me and regard me as 'valid/valuable'.

And so I felt afraid towards the 'coldness' that I experienced within the rules, laws, regulations, structures and systems within which this world works and functions - thus creating a separation between 'the world out there' as all those laws and infrastructures that function according to rules and codes as the apparent 'system', and 'my world' as what was apparently 'real life' as all my feelings, thoughts and emotions as inner experiences that I experienced within my relationships with the people around me. So every time that I was confronted with 'the system' of this world, that doesn't actually care about me and wherein I cannot participate in feelings and emotions within myself as the system simply doesn't react back to me, wherein thus no relation can exist (as relationships are always built on reactions as feelings and emotions), thus no 'identity' can exist as what I had built up as reactions to my environment - I would experience fear within myself because I did not want to realize that the world doesn't actually care about me as I had created this belief and experience within myself that 'life/God/the world cares about me' because that was what I experienced in all my relationships with my environment -- that they care and that I am thus special and that how I feel inside actually really matters.

Though, even though I had cultivated the belief and feeling within myself, through having created 'relationships' with the beings around me, that people really do care about me, that they understand me, they get me, they are 'good', they see who I am and I can really 'be myself' around them - there were lots of moments wherein it was clear that the people around me did not 'get me', they did not 'understand me' and they clearly did not 'see who I am' - within words that they spoke to me in reaction to something that I said. Though I seemed to have built up some kind of 'self-protection' mechanism of simply 'filtering out' these moments and giving it some kind of spin in my mind, creating a reason for why these beings have said what they said to me so that I could still ignorantly continue believe that the people around me that I have trusted my entire life, really are 'good' and they really do 'care about me', despite of certain evidence of the contrary.

So, what I now realized with regards to this 'fear of formality/laws/rules' is that I have in fact always been hiding from the true nature of reality - into an illusion of relationships as 'inner experiences' wherein I always felt as though I am 'more special than this world of systems', I am in some way 'more than' the system of this world because that is how my relationships with my friends and family made me feel. I did not want to accept the system as myself - I had always been looking for ways to separate myself from 'the system' and be 'unique', I have made it my life's purpose to find ways to 'not be systematic', to act, dress, talk, walk, look different and unique as I was so afraid of facing reality as the system of this world - I wanted to create the illusion that there is more to this world than what I see (which is in fact nothing but a system, as a pre-designed creation of 'Humanity' and all that I can see with my eyes), thus participating in these 'inner experiences' that create 'special connections' with what I see with my eyes, thus making it seem as though there really is something special about me/life. Though in this - I never noticed/realized that I am the system, within myself - as a systematic, pre-designed way of reacting to this world, of seeing and experiencing the world around me.

In fact, the very desire for there to be 'more than' what is here, 'more than' the system of this reality - is systematic as it is not 'real', it does not consider or take into account what is reality in fact as I only separate myself from reality by not wanting to accept certain parts of reality as myself. My entire inner experience, as the personality that i always believed myself to be is in fact nothing but a system of rules, laws and regulations because I have literally separated everything of reality within myself, creating lines and structures wherein I put everything of this world into boxes of judgments and definitions based on 'good' and 'bad' -- never allowing myself to simply express myself here within and as freedom.

The way I interact with myself, with my physical body is even very systematic - as I will for instance have certain habits that I feel I 'must do' to be able to 'be myself', I have tics that sometimes hurt my body but that I feel I 'must do' to be able to 'be myself'.

So, what I see as the consequence/result of my fear of systems and of trying to create a 'personal world' of relationships wherein i can apparently 'experience life', out of the system - was that I basically allowed the system to direct my life and I allowed these systems that exist in this reality, as all the laws, rules, codes and regulations that direct this world, to exist - while I tried to find ways to 'get out of it' and 'not experience it', wherein I never took any responsibility for this reality by not realizing that it is not this world that is the problem, it is not the rules, laws and structures that is the problem -- I am the problem as the self dishonesty within myself. My inner selfishness is the problem - of which all the rules and regulations in this world that serve to direct the selfishness of humanity to ensure that no one abuse another, are but a result. What is the problem is the rules that I have created within myself as the separation between 'myself' and 'the rest of the world' that I have allowed to exist within myself - which is like a vicious circle wherein the 'inner rules/laws/separation' is being cultivated and supported by the rules/laws/separation in and of this world and vice versa.

Though there has to come a point where I stand up and realize that it is the rules that direct this reality that must be changed to 'rules' that are best for all life - 'rules' as structures and principles that direct life in the best way possible that do not promote and support abuse, as what is happening now - but rules that will in any given situation always consider what is best for life - so that no being that is born in this world will ever feel the need to create an 'alternate'/'personal' world within themselves to try to escape the structures in this physical world.

Walking the correction:

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear structures

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the system of the world

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have created a personal world within myself as inner experiences to try and escape the system of the world by fearing the system - instead of realizing that the only system that I experience is me myself as the separation that I have allowed to exist within myself

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that relationships are not systematic - and to believe that i can only exist and 'be myself' in relationships with the people around me and to therefore fear systems as rules, codes, laws and regulations because they do not allow me to participate in the ego of the mind as emotional and feeling- reactions wherein i can feel 'special', as though i am 'more' than this world of systems

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not take responsibility for the systems in and of this world - by fearing them and by trying to escape the systems of this world by creating an inner experience/reality of thoughts feelings and emotions

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the system of this world as laws, rules and structures by fearing it and by having allowed myself to create an ego as a 'personal inner experience' as inner reactions to the world as 'my environment' wherein i created the idea that I am special - instead of standing one and equal with and as reality as the realization that the system is what directs and determines my life here on earth, the system is everything as it determines life, thus to truly 'be myself' is to direct the systems into becoming one and equal with myself as life

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself within relationships, instead of realizing that all my inner experiences within, of and as relationships are in fact my attempts to escape reality and to create an alternate reality within myself as an illusion because I reacted with fear to the systems of this world - instead of standing up within and as the systems of this world within and as the realization that what is here is me as life, as reality, and thus it is my responsibility to direct what is here within what is best for all life as me

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to project the system unto this world and reacting to in with fear - instead of realizing that the system is what i have allowed to exist within myself as separation

i forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that to not accept the system as me is to not be life, and to be the system - as i am unwilling to accept all that exist as me, thus stating that I am not existence thus that I am not life

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself within the desire to feel special as an attempt to escape the system - instead of realizing that the desire to feel special is the system of the inner pre-programmed reactions wherein I am a slave and only systematically react to reality, instead of standing as the living application and statement of who i am as life

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the security, stead-fast-ness, stability, consistency, trustworthiness that I see in the system of this world by judging the system as 'bad' and by fearing 'the system' - instead of accepting and realizing myself as one and equal with the system as security, stability, assertiveness and trustwortiness as the living application of myself as life

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that life is relationships

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that i need relationships to 'be myself'

i forgive myself that i haven't allowed myself to realize that relationships is in fact the system as it is a whole of predetermined, predictable 'codes' and ways of behaving myself that follow 'rules' that evolve around 'creating a positive experience within myself/others' wherein i feel like i 'have to be/behave a certain way' to in fact create the 'relationship' and thus apparently 'be myself'

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire for other people to care about me, to understand me, to get me and to see me and accept me for who i am - instead of caring about myself, seeing and accepting myself within the realization that when i expect another to care about me, I will always be a slave to them and will always have to manipulate myself and the other to in fact get them to care about me

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe in relationships

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to trust in relationships as 'good' feelings that make me feel 'connected' to other people - instead of realizing that relationships as 'good feelings' are actually based on the subconscious fear that i experience within myself towards this world, wherein i have allowed myself to participate in a polarity system of negative vs positive energy that balance each other out

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to attempt to hide in the positive feelings of relationships as the belief that other people care about me, love me and accept me - instead of facing the fear within myself, standing one and equal with it and thus caring about, loving and accepting myself within being honest with myself about who I am and not allow myself to be directed by fear through creating a lie as belief systems about the world around me being apparently 'good' so that i could hide the fear within myself behind a positive feeling

i forgive myself that i haven't allowed myself to stand one and equal with my environment by using them within my desire to feel good and positive within myself by creating 'relationships' within playing into the feeling-reactions within others through manipulating my behavior, to hide the fear that i experience towards the world

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fight the system by trying to make it seem as thought i am the opposite, by making it seem, through my behavior, that i am a 'free being' - instead of being self honest and realizing that 'the system' is me limiting myself by separating reality from myself through fear

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that the system exist outside of myself in laws, rules, codes and regulations of this world - and to believe that who i am inside is not a system, is apparently 'free' and 'unbound' as 'energy' that makes me apparently 'special' and 'important' and 'more than' this world - instead of realizing that i never experienced true freedom as the energy that i experienced within myself was in fact always only in relation to people in this world wherein i was bound, constricted and enslaved to the separation that i experienced between myself and 'the world'

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that energy is freedom - instead of realizing that energy is not even real because within energy, i am always enslaved to that which i need to generate the energy as energy is the result of a friction that always require a 'source' to be able to exist

i forgive myself that i haven't allowed myself to realize that true freedom is to direct myself unconditionally in each moment and not allow myself to be influenced
or directed by fear or any other internal reaction of energy within myself that is the result of fear towards reality

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to copy the belief of my parents that i am not responsible for 'the system' and that i should just live out my life here on earth in separation as self-interest, ignorantly pursuing positive feelings to hide the fear and inferiority that i actually experience towards my environment - instead of realizing that i am not this system of inferiority and blind ignorance, because I exist here one and equal with all that exist here - therefore all that is here is my responsibility







I realize that the only 'system' that exist is what I allow to exist within myself - therefore I stand up within and as who i am as life, and I direct myself as the system of what is best for all life - within and as the realization that what is best for all requires systematization, as consistency and stability as what can be trusted. I realize that I am not real, I am not life if I do not stand as the systematic, consistent and stable application of myself as oneness and equality as what is best for all in each and every moment

when and as i see myself fearing the system of this world or going into emotional reactions within myself towards the system of this world - i stop and breathe and stand up within and as the realization that I am responsible for 'the world' as who i am here - and that I am thus responsible for the kind of system that exist here. Thus I stand up as the directive principle of life as the system that supports all life equally instead of one that abuses. I do not allow abuse as separation as selfishness to exist within myself - I take full responsibility for creation as me and I delete all systems as separation within myself

2012 I Fear being a bad mother

"bad mother" is obviously a judgment that only exist 'in the eyes of others', that is built upon comparison with specific stories that we've read in the news papers or heard somewhere about apparently 'bad mothers' that apparently 'don't raise their child in the right way' - according to all sorts of theories and books that apparently 'have the answer to good motherhood' to which we all simply adapt in our combined fear of being judged by each other as a 'bad mother'.

The fear of being a bad mother actually has got nothing to do with the baby/child - in experiencing this fear, we don't actually consider the baby/child at all, as we are only thinking about our ego within thoughts such as 'what will the other mothers think of me', 'I don't want to be rejected', 'I want them to respect and accept me', 'what if they think I am a bad mother and talk badly about me in the news papers like they do about all the other 'bad mothers' ', 'I don't want to lose face - I want them to like me and support me in my idea that I am a good mother', etc.

So this fear symbolizes the fear of 'going to hell' through being judged. And the fact that this fear of being judged as 'bad' and then going to hell, wherein I will for ever exist in guilt and shame, exist within myself implies that I actually already judge myself as 'bad' because otherwise I would simply trust myself and not even fear going to hell (=feeling guilty and ashamed), as I would realize that there is no reason why I should have to go to hell, because I am 'OK' as who I naturally am.

So, there exist the idea within myself that I am not OK as who I 'naturally am', that I am 'inherently bad/evil' and thus I must 'stick to the rules' within for instance taking care of a baby, and copy other people to make sure that I will always 'do the right thing' in the eyes of others.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being a bad mother

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the judgment 'bad mother'

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the words 'bad mother' with fear and thus i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I cannot trust myself when taking care of a baby by believing that i am 'inherently bad' and that I thus have to 'follow the rules' and 'copy other people' to make sure that i am 'good', in the eyes of other people

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel terrified and petrified of being judged as 'bad' by other people

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect petrification to the word 'bad' and thus i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear petrification

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the emotional experience of petrification by fearing it

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear judgments

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in judgments by judging other people as being for instance a 'bad mother' by copying the opinions and judgments of what I read in the news papers and hear from other people as they tell stories about apparent 'bad mothers' who apparently don't raise their child in the 'right way' - and to therefore also fear being judged as how I judge others within my mind

i forgive myself that i have allowed and accepted myself to participate in judgments and allow judgments to exist within myself - instead of realizing that all judgments that exist within myself is what i had heard from my environment at one point or another, and that i simply copied from other people, tacitly accepting these judgments about reality as 'other people' as 'the truth', never investigating reality for myself and literally 'never looking further than my nose is long' and realizing that life as who i am as oneness and equality is neither good nor bad, it is no judgment, it is life and me as life am always what is best for life because I am life - to judge myself or to believe that i am judgments is to already state that i separate myself from life, no matter if i judge myself as 'good' or 'bad'


i realize that i am not judgments - and i realize that the judgment of 'bad mother' is in fact a 'scare tactics' as a 'fear label' that the system of humanity uses to keep every human being enslaved to and within judgments as separation, continuously overlooking reality as what is truly best for all - as we get lost within our desire to 'do good' in the eyes of 'God', wherein we don't ever take responsibility for our actions and consequently create a fuck up.

when and as I see judgments such as 'bad mother' coming up within myself when I am with a baby - i stop within myself and i breathe and i stand and remain constant and stable within myself within and as the realization that who i am as the natural, simplistic expression of myself here, is life itself as oneness and equality - I am one and equal with this child as me and I stand within myself within and as the realization that i do not need rules, regulations or judgments to get me to 'do the right thing' as i realize that within what is best for all, there is no 'right or wrong', there is only 'best for all as me' within and as oneness and equality which is who i naturally am here. Thus, i do not allow myself to go into fear of 'not doing it right' or fear of 'being wrong' - as i realize that that is a selfish fear wherein i don't consider the child that is here with me or any other being besides myself and my personal desires of feeling accepted and noticed by other people as the desire to feel good about myself.

thus i breathe through this fear of being judged as 'bad' - within and as the realization that this fear is not really me as i am not a judgment - I am life as the living expression of myself and i do not allow myself to be any less than who i really am as life. I do not allow myself to be scared into diminishing myself through fear of judgments.

2012 The Spiritual Path of "you'll understand when you're older"

"You will see/know/understand when you get older", is a line that parents tend to throw at their children from time to time to get them to passively accept what the parent preaches/teaches without ever questioning the message. They speak these words when a child would start to ask questions about something that the parent said, that for the parent seem 'annoying' as the parent simply wants the child to listen and do what it is told from the notion that 'mother/father knows best - so then why question them?'

Maybe initially they'll attempt to explain why the child needs to do this or that when it starts asking questions - but eventually when it still doesn't 'just do what it is supposed to (according to the parent)' and continues to ask questions, it seems easier for parents to say to the child that 'they will see/know/understand it all as they get older', so for now they should just trust that the parent knows best and not ask so many questions.

So many parents use this phrase 'you'll understand when you're older', without fully looking into what this actually implies, the intention that really lies behind it and the consequences on the child's further development in the way they experience themselves and reality.

Essentially what is being conveyed within this statement of 'understanding what is going on in the world and why we must do certain things only when we've grown up', is that 'life', 'reality' and 'the world is apparently so much bigger and greater than the child and the child is thus placed in an inferior position towards life/reality/the world, eager to grow up as fast as possible to apparently be able to step out of the experience of inferiority and into an experience of 'being a worthy and complete part of reality' just like mom and dad.

Within these words, the child believes that it needs lots and lots of knowledge and information about the world, just like mom and dad, to be a complete and worthy being in this reality - thus believing that 'I will only become complete when I have gathered information and knowledge through growing older in this world'.

This not only creates the experience within the child that they are 'not good enough' as who they are because apparently 'who they have to be' exist somewhere in the distant future - but it is also a self-destroying prophecy because it is in asking questions that children learn about reality, thus they are being kept from expanding themselves and their understanding of reality by being blocked from asking questions through statements like this.

I will now share my experience of living within and as this statement that I had learned from my parents to show that this statement is in fact false and does not serve anyone or anything but the ego of the parents.

Based on the belief that I am 'dumb' and 'stupid' because 'I don't know enough' as what I had learned throughout my childhood in the way that grown ups like my parents and teachers interacted with me, often using these types of statements like 'you'll understand when you're older' to basically shut me up and stop me from asking questions, I existed in this belief and feeling within myself that I have to accumulate as much information and knowledge as I possibly can in as little time as possible to 'become full' and 'whole' as a being.

this started when I was around 10 years old. I just wanted to feel powerful, I just wanted to feel smart so that no one would ever again have 'intellectual superiority' over me and I would never again feel inferior as what I experienced towards my parents. So I would make it a sport of using vocabulary as these big and expensive words and being creative in finding ways of explaining a point so as to convince the other person that I am right and they are wrong and thus I would experience myself to be 'intellectually superior'.

Later in my life, around 18 years of age, this desire of 'being really smart' transformed into a 'spiritual quest' - as the fear of 'not being smart enough' and 'not understanding reality' and thus feeling inferior, had fully integrated itself within me as a part of the personality that I believed myself to be. I believed that knowledge is 'life'/'reality' and therefore I believed that I must get to know all that exist in reality, I must learn about everything, every theory, every conspiracy, every structure, every teaching in this world to make sure that I become a full being - just like buddha. I wanted to make sure that I become 'enlightened' in this lifetime through gathering knowledge and information about 'the universe' and 'reality' in the form of spiritual teachings as fast as possible so that I could eventually stand in that position of being able to say to other beings that 'they will understand when they grow up' or that 'they aren't ready to understand/grasp this or that yet' as what my parents told me, wherein I would draw from my vast amount of knowledge and experiences about reality to prove that 'I am superior in my understanding of life' and that everyone should just listen to me and trust me.

This is also the way many 'spiritual leaders/guru's/teachers' have set themselves up - to stand as that point of ultimate superior 'understanding' within having accumulated 'life-experiences' and 'spiritual wisdom/knowledge' from where they will apparently 'know' who people are and how/what reality is and are able to brush off people that dare question them by stating that 'they are not yet aware' or 'they will see/understand in another life-time' or 'they are not yet mature'. The same goes for beings that have gone to college and earned a college-degree, who have thus gathered more information about reality than others and apparently now stand as 'intellectually superior' and apparently having the 'right' to make claims and statements about 'what reality is' and 'who other beings are' - with their degree as the 'official recognition' that 'they have something to say'.

Now, to come back to my initial point of creating this belief within children that 'they will only understand reality when they've grown up' and that they apparently thus have nothing valid to say in this world - only reveals to us how we have missed the point of what life actually is completely. A child is here, it is alive, so is an animal, a rock, plant, car, and anything that exists here, just like any of us - no matter how old you are, whether or not you know a lot of stuff, read a lot of books, earned lots of degree's, experienced a lot of things, etc.

In fact, the reason why we 'grown ups' have never been able to effectively direct this world into a world that is actually nice, enjoyable and fun to exist in, is because we've completely 'skipped the basics', as we have suppressed ourselves as life completely - only to get lost in knowledge and information within these 'spiritual quests', eternally looking for ourselves within some kind of 'evolutionary process' - instead of realizing that we have in fact always been here and the answer to life, the answer to creating a heaven on earth, has always been here within the simplicity of a child as who we really are.

Now that we're older - would we say that we really do 'understand' what it is all about? Or have we only gotten more lost and confused within the maze of knowledge and information inside our minds? - having forgotten completely that the reason why we became so 'wise' and 'intelligent' is because we just wanted to feel better about ourselves, because we believed that we weren't already complete and ok just the way we are, and not because we necessarily needed all of that knowledge and information.

I got so 'wise' and apparently 'intellectually superior' that I got stuck in questions such as 'Who am I?' and 'What is real?' - because there existed so many concepts about reality within myself as this 'spiritual wisdom' that it leaves one to wonder if all of it is necessary in fact or even real in the first place.

It took a process of self-forgiveness, which I am still walking (since 2008), to completely walk backwards through all of what I had allowed myself to construct within myself as belief-systems about 'what is real' and 'who I am' - as I had eventually realized that while I believed that I was 'evolving' through becoming 'wiser' within and as the mind by accumulating wisdom and knowledge about myself and reality, I was actually 'devolving' because I had been suppressing myself as who I really am as the simplicity of life by defining myself within the belief that 'I will only become a full/complete being when I am older through having accumulated knowledge and experiences that apparently tell me 'what life is all about''.

So, in essence, all that I have understood when and as I got older, is that I've been duped and mislead by human beings that have equally been duped and mislead into believing that I as 'life' require knowledge and information to be able to exist, never realizing that I had only been suppressing life within myself through growing up as a 'knowledge-processing system'.

Investigate Desteni and give yourself the chance and opportunity of getting to know who you are as life and to stop the lie of the mind as knowledge and information.

Jet Blue Pilot gone Wild

Only two weeks after a flight attendant on a US commercial airplane 'lost it', on march 27th it is a pilot that scared the passengers on his plane when he started to show 'unusual behavior' like pushing random buttons in the cockpit, screaming that they were all going to die, adding in some other stuff about the Israel, Iraq and Iran and twitching and jerking his head muscles.

People were, needless to say, baffled and startled, as they didn't know what was going on and because no one ever expects this kind of behavior from pilots and/or flight attendants, as the ones who are known for their almost 'perfect' exterior presentation that seems to always convey that you can trust them, which is obviously necessary when you're on a plane - that you trust the ones who are in charge of the thing to not get you killed.

So, both cases left all by-standers and their own family and friends in a state of confusion as they had no clue why or how they all of a sudden went 'crazy' like that - according to this CBS News article, the landlady of the Pilot was absolutely shocked to hear of his apparent 'meltdown' because she knew him as a happy-go-lucky guy who was always friendly, never seemed to suffer from depression or stress and was always in a good mood.

These are events that basically shake up the foundational values and belief systems that people have about reality, leaving them behind in a state of confusion and an eery sense of not knowing what the hell is going on in this world - for instance in these cases, the belief that humans had about 'flight attendants and pilots being trustworthy and stable beings' got completely shattered as they were faced with these 'mental breakdowns' that seemed to come out of nowhere, that clearly showed that pilots and flight attendants are not as 'perfect' and 'stable' as they look and as they always present themselves to be.

Many structures, institutions and manifestations in this world are in fact based on such belief systems, wherein we trust certain people and institutions, such as politicians, teachers, parents, 'the government', 'hospitals', doctors, nurses, police officers, etc. because of how they are being presented and how they tend to present themselves - which is as if they are more trustworthy than the rest of us and that it is therefore safe to place our lives in their hands as that is what we do every single day.

What situations like this with the flight attendant and the pilot apparently 'losing it' are showing us is that basically our entire experience and perception of reality is based on lies and illusions - as we exist within gullibility, nativity and ignorance wherein we would much rather trust, have faith in and believe in a pretty and nice illusion such as 'I can trust a pilot/politician/nurse/my mother/my teacher/...' that makes us automatically want to follow and believe in what they tell us so that we can feel safe and secure within ourselves, than to look at reality as the FACT that all of these beings that have labeled themselves according to the position that they play in this world of money, are just people just like us - they are not more benevolent or trustworthy. In fact they are just as crazy, deceitful, manipulative and self-dishonest as the rest of us, and they themselves are also just looking for someone to trust and follow just like so many beings trust them.

It is fascinating to watch how human beings seem to exist in such denial of who they really are and of what is really going on in reality, as they allow themselves to be so easily influenced and duped by all the pretty presentations in this world, the pretty pictures wherein most people (especially the ones with money) seem to be 'good' - not realizing that if you have money, then obviously you have a wide range of possibilities to create a certain 'style' in which you will present yourself to 'society' to basically manipulate people into trusting you because you 'look the part' and obviously because people are so very easily misguided because of their own mind and the way they as the mind were programmed to always believe and trust in anyone with money and power as they will (apparently) show the way to survival/safety/security.

Which clearly explains why and how people tend to be mesmerized by the glitter and glamor of 'Hollywood Celeb-society' - almost automatically/instinctively trusting them, only because they look like they have a lot of money, as that 'natural tendency' of the human to only think about it's own survival and thus 'instinctively' turn towards and feel attracted to those that are most able to provide and support that survival like those with the most money in this world, not realizing that the very way the human mind was set up and programmed was to sabotage itself by for instance not being aware of itself and of how reality works and operates - thus often ending up making decisions that were definitely not what was best for life on earth as it was simply driven by a one-dimensional personal emotional experience.


So, what will now happen in this case of the Pilot 'gone mental' and in the case of the flight attendant 'losing her marbles', just like in all cases where these type of 'unexplainable' and unpredictable events occur, is that the 'rationalization-process' begins - and in this 'rationalization-process', various doctors, psychologists, psychiatrists and other apparently 'qualified' human beings will bring forth their 'theories/explanations/reasons' for why these two beings had reacted and 'stepped out of their normal programming' in the way that they did. For instance in the news report discussing the flight attendants 'rant', they mention that the reason for her behavior was (or could have been) that she hadn't taken her medication for her 'mental illness'.


And this will only be to appease and comfort the minds of mankind that were for a moment 'undermined' by and through experiencing/witnessing these 'freak events' - so they can once again slide comfortably into that trusted feeling within themselves that 'all is well' and 'all is as it should be' wherein 'everything (seemingly) has its place and can thus to a certain extent be predicted', so we may all once again delude ourselves within feeling that we have reality 'under control', obviously only until the next 'freak event' happens.


Though, instead of simply allowing ourselves to 'settle' for this kind of pre-programmed living that isn't actually living and expression, wherein we exist in complete willful ignorance of what is in fact going on in reality and of who and why we are, why don't we take this opportunity to stop within ourselves and stand up to no longer allow ourselves to exist as these programmed robots of the mind that always need some sort or 'rationalization' of why, how, when and where 'I' am and 'reality' is to apparently be able to 'be ourselves'?

This ignorance of us has gone too far because it does not only affect ourselves, but also all that exist here like nature, animals, children and all other human beings - we all are suffering the consequences of our allowed ignorance of the mind.

Investigate Desteni that will support you in your process of stopping the mind and standing up as a real trustworthy, constant and stable being that takes responsibility for all life that exist here!

2012 I fear Enjoying Life - The Corrective Action

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear enjoying life

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear enjoying myself in the moment

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define 'enjoyment' within 'getting recognition for my hard work and for my life' by other people

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that 'life is not meant to be enjoyed', 'it is meant to work'

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel proud of myself when i have been working hard and when i have accomplished a task/job/assignment within believing that i have proven my worth in this world and thus i can feel good about my existence here - by believing that my purpose in life is to work and 'achieve goals' and not to simply live

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to look down on beings that don't work, that don't DO anything by judging them as 'a freeloader' and 'lazy', that I have connected with a negative energetic charge, as judgments that i have copied from my parents and grandparents - wherein i believe that i am superior to those that 'don't do anything' because I have allowed myself to believe that the 'values' of my family are real - instead of realizing that they are but beliefs and have absolutely nothing to do with reality that is HERE, as these beliefs are completely one-dimensional and ego-based wherein the entirety of reality is not considered, only the personal experience within and as the family-construct

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself with the belief that i have to work to prove my worth and value in this world, so that i can prove that i am worthy of existing to 'other people' as 'my family' - within and as the fear of being judged by them as 'lazy' and 'freeloader' as judgments that they often placed on other people that in their eyes were not 'productive enough' and were not 'effective/efficient workers' and were therefore inferior

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being judged as lazy because i fear experiencing the negative energetic charge that i have assigned to this word as what i copied from my family

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the word 'lazy'

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear relaxing here in the moment because i fear that my environment, as my family', will judge me as 'lazy' - based on experiences/memories in my life wherein my parents judged me as 'lazy' because in their eyes i wasn't doing enough and wasn't working and thus i was apparently 'inferior' and 'bad'

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that if i do not work to prove my value and worth to other people, that i am 'bad' - as a belief that i have copied from my family as I often witnessed how my parents and grandparents judged other people within a negative energetic value/charge because they did not work

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define my worth and value and to define the value and worth of life within working and doing things in this world - and thus getting recognition from my environment for the work that i have done

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from value and worth by defining value and worth within working, doing things and getting recognition from my environment for the work that i have done

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the energetic experience of guilt with 'not working' and 'not doing anything/performing a task' - as how i reacted when my parents told me that i am lazy because i am not working and that i have to do something, anything but sit in front of the television all day, because that is apparently 'bad'

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself within the belief that 'life is not meant to be enjoyed' and to therefore fear relaxing, being here within and as the moment unconditionally as me

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within and as the feeling and belief that i constantly have to do something - and therein constantly experience stress and anxiety within myself

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that i am superior to those that don't work or work less than me and that i am inferior to those that work more than me - based on the belief that the value of life is determined through how much a being works that i have copied from my family

i forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to therefore believe that those starving people in Africa, or the poor people that i see sitting on the side of the street, have it coming to them and that it is their fault that they are in that situation because they don't work enough and they are 'lazy' - and to therefore feel superior to them - instead of placing myself in the shoes of every being in this world and realizing myself as one and equal with all of existence here and not just a pre-programmed robot that simply lives out a culturally designed program within and as the illusion of superiority as the ego of the mind

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself within and as my family and within the 'value-system' of my family as the belief that working is good and not working is bad and that i must work to prove my worth in existence, thus existing in constant fear, anxiety and stress as the fear of being judged as 'bad' and to thus be rejected by my family - instead of standing within and as oneness and equality as the self-directive principle of myself as life, as self-enjoyment and unconditional self-expression in each and every moment, within and as the realization that that is really 'what life is all about' as 'what is best for all life', and within the realization that the desire to work in order to apparently 'prove my worth' is an ego-desire within the belief that i am important and special, wherein i want to go to heaven and be seen by 'God' as 'good'

i forgive myself that i haven't allowed myself to realize that the belief that i have to work hard to prove that i am worthy of life and to get recognition from other people is a pre-programmed belief wherein i exist as a slave to consciousness as empty belief-systems that don't actually make sense and that aren't actually real as they only exist in the realm of the mind, which has nothing to do with life here as it only evolves around this fake, illusory idea that i am in some way special and important and that what i DO here in this world is in some way important and special, which isn't actually so

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word 'lazy' by fearing it, based on memories of my father calling me 'lazy' and telling me that i have to work, wherein i basically feared being rejected by my father - instead of realizing that my father's expression towards me is the expression of who/what he has allowed himself to become as what he has allowed to exist within himself as fears and beliefs, that he also copied from his parents, which don't actually have anything to do with me

i forgive myself that i haven't allowed myself to realize myself as one and equal with my father by reacting to his expression with fear, thus copying his beliefs and fears, becoming a mind consciousness system/robot, living out the beliefs and fears of the previous generations within and as the illusory belief that i am special and important as the ego of the mind

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from my environment as 'other people' by existing within and as the desire to get recognition for my work in this world so that i can feel good about myself, based on the belief that my worth and value is determined within what i DO in this world as what i can SHOW to other people - instead of taking responsibility for my environment as me and direct this reality into a world that is best for all, wherein i do not allow myself to exist within and as or be directed by beliefs such as 'i must work to prove my worth' as an ego-belief that exist within and as separation of myself from myself as reality, but wherein I consider all life as me and direct all within and as what is best for all as me



I realize that i am in no way special or important and that the belief that i have to work hard to in some way prove myself as 'worthy' to live is an ego belief that only serves the desire of the ego to feel superior to other beings and thus not take responsibility for all life here. If and when i see myself tensing up, worrying about the future and feeling as though i have to do something, judging myself as 'lazy' or wanting to prove to other people that i am superior through and within the work that i do and have done - i stop within myself and i breathe and i do not allow myself to be directed by this belief/feeling and i stand constant and stable here, within and as the realization of who i really am as life as oneness and equality - not allowing anything less than what is best for all life to exist within myself and thus allowing myself to relax and enjoy myself as life itself here within and as unconditionality.

I realize that relaxation is who i 'naturally' am - and that it is not normal to tense up or be anxious or nervous, as the experience of myself that i have copied from my parents - thus, i trust myself within and as the realization that relaxation is who i am as what is best for all life as me, as the possibility and freedom to express and experience myself as life within and as the living statement of me as oneness and equality as who i really am without beliefs, rules and 'values' as an attempt to limit life to serve the ego of the mind as the desire to separate myself from other beings and feel special and important.

I accept myself as the moment here and i relax within and as the realization that i am HERE, one and equal with my environment, one and equal with my parents and grandparents and all of existence here within and as this moment. And i realize that 'special' and 'important' doesn't actually exist as they are/were but experiences of the mind as the illusion of separation that i had allowed to exist within myself.



Free yourself from the limitations of the mind - investigate Desteni at www.desteni.org

2012 Should Reincarnation exist at all?

"A Past Life memory is the same as reading a few pages from a history book in the LIEbrary. The viewer is either a hero or victim in a story of self interest that is blown up to get attention." Bernard Poolman





My experience with reincarnation is that it fascinated me from the perspective of wanting to have a 'past life' that was obviously 'of importance' and 'special' so that i could feel 'profound', 'rich', 'deep' and 'important'.

I had some 'visions'/images/imprints in my mind when I was little which was a little bit like a memory of a 'past life', though back then I didn't pay any real attention to it, it simply existed within me as a part of myself, so what. It was only later in my life when I desired to feel special and unique in some way that I started digging into myself and giving much value to these type of 'curiosities', separating it from myself by glorifying this 'memory of a past life' as something that apparently adds much value to my existence here in this world - something that I could use as a reference point to show and prove to other people that yes indeed I am very special.

Though what I find shocking now, looking at how I have always existed in this world, is that while I experienced myself as apparently 'great', 'superior' and 'unique', I actually knew very little of myself and of reality - as I had taken just this one small part of myself, the 'memory of my past life' (which was really just like a vague short snippet from a dream), and blown it way out of proportion just so that I could feel 'important' and 'special' when I didn't even know where it came from, who I am or was within it, if I even really had a past life, if reincarnation is even real or anything, because I was so obsessed with just being able to feel like I am special for some reason in some way that I used this 'memory', of which I wasn't even sure that it was in fact a memory, for that purpose of blowing up and feeding my delusions of grandeur.

So in this way, the whole concept of 'reincarnation' has only been something 'fascinating', intriguing and apparently 'special' for me because of how thinking and believing that I have a past life made me feel, because surely it must mean that I am so much 'more' than who I am here within and as this life. I have always used the concept of reincarnation to serve my self-interest as the desire to feel special in this life here on earth, because it is obvious that I was basically very dissatisfied with myself and my life - I wanted suspense, I wanted adventure, I wanted to feel like a superhero of sorts, just like in the movies that I had watched. And compared to those movies, my life seemed and felt really boring.

So, realizing that there exist this image within my mind that almost feels like a distant memory but that is not from this lifetime that I am living at the moment, I immediately started going over and over this image in my mind to continuously generate the experience/energy of 'being unique/special'- desiring to remember more about past life times and to have these great eye-opening experiences and revelations so that I could talk about them to other people and so that I could get much attention and recognition for it.

I was so caught up with wanting to feel important in this world, that I deliberately glorified things about this reality such as the concept of reincarnation and the possibility of 'having past lives' so that I could personally feel special - though I never stopped within myself to realize and see what is actually really going on in this world. It never occurred to me to look at this reality as what it is without taking my personal desires, feelings and personality into the equation - but to simply see this reality for what it is. Because then I might notice just how absurd the existence of 'reincarnation' is - I might just notice how absurd my entire life is and has been, wherein I have always been existing within this inner experience of 'not being good enough', always looking for something outside of myself that will apparently 'make me better', without even knowing, seeing or being aware of why or how I got that way and experienced myself as such in the first place.

I might just have noticed that there is something really strange going on with and in this world - with all those spiritual leaders and scripts that speak about the apparent 'glorious process of reincarnation' wherein we are all on a journey to become 'the Buddha Consciousness' through having to come back here to this earth and suffer and learn lesson after lesson without remembering a thing about the previous lessons or if there even was a 'previous life' at all.

I mean, why does reincarnation exist in the first place? Why is there such a construct that has apparently been designed by 'God' or some sort of higher power/force that wants us to suffer like this, running around not knowing who we are, why we are and what is actually going on here?

And more importantly, why have we been accepting reincarnation as the governing force in our lives without ever questioning it's existence in terms of checking to see whether or not this is in fact what is best for all as what is common sense? Even those who say that they 'don't believe in God or a higher power and reincarnation' are still existing here on this planet as if this is not our home. All of us are seeing earth as some kind of 'space-station' on which we're just 'passing through' to get to our 'final destination' that apparently exist after death - which can clearly be seen in the way we interact with earth, nature, animals and all and everything that exist here in this physical reality - those who 'believe in god and reincarnation' and those who do not alike.

It is evident that reincarnation as the subconscious belief that 'there is something more after this life' and that 'this life is just a test/game' is what drives our experience and application of ourselves in this world, because we have as a human race collective not even once taken any form of responsibility for this reality and for ourselves within this reality - the consequences of which we are now slowly but surely coming to grips with.

So, indeed, reincarnation is just a way to side step immediate responsibility and action - it is an excuse that we have been using throughout the ages to postpone finding lasting solutions for this reality so we may experience heaven on earth and it is the reason why we are still postponing, waiting and hoping for solutions to come to us while we are literally standing in a sinking ship watching ourselves within the dysfunctional world-systems that we have allowed to exist go under as if we never saw it coming.

The problem here is that we actually did see it coming, but our 'power' to 'turn a blind eye' and claim ignorance towards what we are aware of deep down within ourselves has always been able to override common sense and taking affirmative action within seeing what should be done to in fact establish a world wherein our experience of ourselves here wouldn't feel like a lesson, punishment or tough job and wherein we wouldn't constantly be looking for a way out through either spirituality or entertainment, which both pretty much come down to the same thing.

So, is reincarnation real? Who is to say? The only thing that is clear in considering who we are and what is in store for us within common sense - is that whether or not reincarnation exist actually makes no difference because it is who we are here in this very moment that defines who we will be and it defines how our reality and experience of reality will be - no matter where we are, here on earth or in the 'after-life'. A change in scenery or situation will not change who we are in any way what so ever - if we do not stand within and as self-responsibility here and now, in this very moment, than we will never be able to experience ourselves as heaven, as life, as existence, as God, as all that is - not in this life, not in the next life and not if we were to 'ascend' to a higher plane in heaven or where ever.

The mess that we create and allow to exist here on this earth, will continue to haunt us until we stand up and take responsibility for it and actually direct it to creating a world that is best for all or until it is too late and we blow all chances of ever realizing and experiencing what life and living really is as what it could be - just like it has been haunting us up to this point where we stand at the brink of crossing the threshold of 'the point of no return' as the point of 'too late-ness'.

So what will it be? Will we stand up and take responsibility for ourselves here and direct this world into what it always should have been as a heaven on earth - or will we rather choose to continue stretching the ignorance of the mind of existing within the idle hope that a solution will come to us or that we will get another chance in our next life while all goes to irreparable shit and we push ourselves to that point of looking at what we've allowed to be done, saying to ourselves 'shit, if only I had moved myself sooner...', 'if only I had stood up when I still had the chance to make a difference'?

We do not want to experience the latter!


Support an Equal Money System and stop the endless cycles of ignorance as the mind, to stand up as a self-empowered being with Desteni.