2011 morality

what is morality?
with regards to the five youngsters in south africa beating up an 84 year old man for 200 dollars and leaving him to die of his injuries.

i believe and have always believed myself to have morality.
meaning that i am a good person.
i believe of myself that i would NEVER kill another being, at least not on purpose.
i would never rob another being or beat them up like those five kids did.
i believe that i simply do not have this behaviour in me, how could i ever do such a horrible thing, noo, i am too good to ever do something that awful.
here i compare myself with them and believe them to be bad and me not understanding why and how they could do what they did.... have they no conscience?!
i also feel afraid that this would happen to me, that this would even exist in this reality frightens me, and i am glad that it did not happen to me.

but what is good, and what is morality?
when can morality exist?
morality is a luxury that can only exist when you have money, then you can behave like a good person and do good things and then you can obey the system.
you have the means and goods to follow the system, to be like the rest of the people in the system, to follow the rules, because the money you have is enough to keep you feeling safe.
but when you have for some reason fallen out of the system, or the system isnt designed to include and support people in your situation, you can not earn the money you need to properly provide for your survival.
being in this situation you can see that the system does not include nor support you and that you dont even get the chance at a good life, while you see others that are being supported by the system, they have enough to live, they have money.

there is no motivation to be good, because the system is not being good to you.
good is a conditional expression, this means that you will only do good to another when you can expect them to do good to you.
friendliness is also such an expression, love, kindness, politeness, etc.. also

for example i will be friendly to someone and smile at them, say hello. but when i see that this person is not smiling back and they aren't friendly at me, then i get angry.
then the scale tilts and i end up in the other extreme.
where first i was friendly, nice and good, now i am mean and i hate this person because they did not express themselves towards me as i expected them to.

so if the system is not nice and good to you, you will not be motivated to be good and nice to the system.
when you see a system that doesnt care about you and leaves you in the gutter, why would you care about the system and those that are getting support from it?

this process that i am in at the moment is also a luxury because i have the time and the money to spend on internet, on knowledge. if i were living in a poor village in Africa, being exploited and abused from all sides, with nobody telling me that it could be different, i would be just as doomed as those five kids.
i only found out about process and self forgiveness and self honesty thru the internet. and it was because i had lived an easy life wherein i did not have too much stress to survive so i could question my existence.

so basically, the poorest in this world are truly fucked from all sides, with no way to escape but death