A fascinating aspect of the 21st Century is the 'Search for Self' - we've all met someone, or we know someone, it may even be ourselves, who is 'in search of themselves'. They/we came at a point in their/our lives wherein they/we obviously felt somewhat lost, therefore a 'search for self' ensued. And the interesting thing is that they are most likely 'searching for themselves' by traveling around the world, doing things they've never done before, taking risk or spending a lot of time meditating in a forest or meadow. Why is this so interesting?
Why would we go searching for ourselves in places we've never even been, in things we've never done or in new relationships with people we don't even know so well? Doesn't it make more sense to, if you've 'lost yourself', go and search for yourself in the places that you have been throughout your life? After all you'd probably have a much bigger chance at actually finding yourself there, as we can obviously only 'lose ourselves' along the way that we have already walked. In fact it is completely ludicrous to even think about going into a new path when you are searching for something that you have lost along the road of the 'old path', yourself.
So what is this obvious self-deception all about? Why do we claim to be searching for ourselves and then do the one thing that will only take us further away from ourselves as what we've apparently 'lost'? Why do we not, in search of ourselves, retrace our steps to see if, where and how we have lost ourselves in our lives? Are we really that stupid or is it that we have a hidden agenda that we are not willing to voice when speaking words like 'I am in search of myself', 'I am searching for myself' or 'I am soul-searching' as to the reason why our words and our actions do not equate?
An interesting point to look at within this question is the realization that we only experience this sense of 'restlessness' as a feeling that 'something is missing', 'I am missing a part of me' when we are adults. When we were children we never even considered that we had to go 'searching for ourselves', that this was at all necessary or desirable, because WE WERE simply OURSELVES. It's not too difficult to figure out that the reason why the adult experiences this desire to go 'search for self' and the child does not, is because the being has in some way lost itself while growing up from being a child to being an adult - thus the feeling/experience within themselves that there is something missing, that a part of 'me' is missing and that they must now go and search for that 'missing part', grew.
So, how did the being become 'lost' through growing up? Actually it is within and through its participation in this illusion of 'searching for self' and 'soul searching', wherein they are not really interested in truly getting to know themselves as who they really are, they are actually looking for 'more', they want to be 'more' than who they really are and thus become completely lost in the search for more to the point that they eventually feel as though they're 'not themselves anymore'.
Thus begins the 'search for self', which is, as we can see, just another excuse of the human to keep participating in its desire to be and become 'more' than who they simply are, as the being doesn't consider that in order to in fact 'find self', one would have to walk backwards throughout ones life, retrace all steps that one has taken within the creation of the illusion of 'more' wherein one has actually lost oneself completely. Instead, the being chooses to only lose themselves even further in the illusion of 'more' by using the 'search for self' as an excuse to in fact do the opposite and basically flee as far away from themselves as they possibly can within 'going to new places', 'trying new things', 'making new relationships', 'creating new personalities', all of which are attempts to add 'more' to life (as if that is possible).
So, basically when human beings make the statement that they are 'searching for themselves' within the desire to 'travel new roads', know that they are lying to themselves and that the truth of what they are actually saying is that they want to get as far away from themselves as they possibly can, because all they really want to do is to not be with themselves, to not be confronted with the life that they have been living, to not look at their own life and themselves within it. They seek change, but not as an actual self-willed self-change wherein one has taken complete responsibility for ones entire being by having walked backwards through ones life and having applied self forgiveness to stop the old patterns that self had created in unawareness of who self really is to then walk the self-directed self-correction as the actual real re-creation of self. They rather want the illusion of change wherein they simply put on a different 'personality-suit' so they can FEEL as though they are a different person without ever having actually faced themselves or having taken responsibility for who they had allowed themselves to become.
No real self-change is possible without self-forgiveness! It is only common sense that the process that is required to be walked in order to really change as a being is not like it is being portrayed by all the self-development guru's and spiritual leaders, as something that is apparently 'wonderful' and 'magical' and 'a heavenly experience' of sorts, wherein you just kind of 'awaken' and all you have to do is 'be still within yourself', etcetera. That is again the attempt and desire to add 'more' to life, to make 'life' seem better than it actually is within and as certain feelings and experiences within self.
The real process of self-change is not nice or pretty, as you would have to actually face what you have allowed yourself to create within your greed for 'more' as you grew up in this world that caused you to apparently 'lose yourself' in the first place. The application of Self forgiveness is required to be able to look yourself in the eyes and to be able to embrace yourself so that you can start with a 'clean slate' to re-create yourself according to what is Best for All Life as who you really are as Life itself.
Stop participating in these mind games of apparent 'soul searching' that will never lead us anywhere but completely lost within our own desires for there to be 'more' than what is simply HERE as who we are as life. Life as who we are is the simplicity of a child and does not require us to go 'searching for it' within traveling to places or by meditating - we rather simply require to forgive ourselves for having allowed ourselves to deceive ourselves within our greed as the desire for there to be 'more' to ourselves as life, and not realizing that we have in fact within this only diminished ourselves by not wanting to accept ourselves fully as who we are HERE within and as the simplicity of life as HERE.
Visit the Desteni Forum and start your process of walking backwards through your life within applying self forgiveness and changing your self for real to stand up as life itself as an actual real-live being that is whole, complete and absolutely HERE.