After and during this application of Self-Forgiveness and Self-Corrective statements in the moment, i had stabilized a lot internally - because i was seeing the points of common sense that were coming up while i was speaking in relation what it is that i was actually doing and participating within. so, from that point, it was easy for me to make the choice to stop playing the game and direct my attention to other things. And this without any judgment or any emotional reactions to and towards the whole thing - it was a simple internal choice and physical movement based on common sense insight and understanding.
This though doesn't now mean that this pattern is completely corrected and that i have changed myself within and as it entirely - not at all. i have ingrained and conditioned this specific pattern of internal reactions and experiences and external behavior all throughout the course of my life and so it will require a step-by step process of physical integration of the new pattern that i am setting myself out to live -- where, within this first step, i have only become aware of how the pattern works and operates in the mind and i have found and developed a way to in a real-time moment, change it within myself. Now i must still prove to myself that i am consistent within my application of real-time change so that, through a constant application of this real-time change, i can condition myself internally and externally to be and become a being that doesn't so easily give its power away to energetic reactions to external stimuli anymore but can remain stable within and as its relationship to for instance entertainment.