2008 meaning

i forgive myself for allowing myself to search for an experience that would represent me
i forgive myself for allowing myself to search for an experience as i imagine how it 'life' would be
i forgive myself for allowing myself to search for an experience where i can feel as though i ve reached something within myself
i forgive myself for allowing myself to not be content with the moment here but reach for something that i think is in the possible next moment
i forgive myself for allowing myself to be impatient
i forgive myself for allowing myself to WANT life to be an experience
i forgive myself for allowing myself to WANT experiences that would replace sexual exitement
i forgive myself for allowing myself to WANT exitement in 'my life'
i forgive myself for allowing myself to believe that i exist on exitement
i forgive myself for allowing myself to want to feel exited about someone or something
i forgive myself for allowing myself to want to see
i forgive myself for allowing myself to want to be
i forgive myself for allowing myself to want to replace sex with an experience that would give me also satisfaction
i forgive myself for allowing myself to want to be satisfied
i forgive myself for allowing myself to want to reach a point where i can just be, where all will be over and i am just here
i forgive myself for not allowing myself to realise that i AM here the only thing stopping and preventing me from seeing that is the desire to be someone or something
i forgive myself for allowing myself to see my life as a succession of experiences that got me to this point
i forgive myself for allowing myself to consider even one of those 'experiences' as valid or important or even real
i forgive myself for allowing myself to want to have something to show for myself
i forgive myself for allowing myself to want to be of use to other beings
i forgive myself for allowing myself to want experiences that i can share and talk about
i forgive myself for allowing myself to want to make something of my life
i forgive myself for allowing myself to be impatient towards possible experiences in the future
i forgive myself for allowing myself to fear possible experiences in the future
i forgive myself for allowing myself to try to see further than the moment here within predictions
which are only of the mind based on the past which gets projected into the future
i forgive myself for allowing myself to see myself as an experience, something that can change and alter and that has meaning
i forgive myself for allowing myself to want to give meaning to myself and what i am doing or what i have done or have been doing
i forgive myself for allowing myself to want other beings to give meaning to what i do have done or am doing
i forgive myself for allowing myself to want to matter without realising that all i am is matter, as the human physical body
i forgive myself for allowing myself to want to feel like i mean something
i forgive myself for allowing myself to want to feel like i am someone
i forgive myself for not allowing myself to just be by wanting to force myself into some kind of experience of how and who i think i 'really am'
i forgive myself for allowing myself to want to think i am special and meaningful and that i am 'making a difference'
i forgive myself for allowing myself to want other beings to think i am special and meaningful
i forgive myself for allowing myself to want need and desire a purpose as some kind of future projection of myself that tells me that 'i m going to become someone significant', 'i will mean something'
i forgive myself for allowing myself to want to be of use to other beings
i forgive myself for allowing myself to want the beings around me to like having me around or like hearing me speak because they believe that i mean something
i forgive myself for allowing myself to give meaning to other beings such as sunette, the dimensions or bernard or other beings in process
actively participating on the forum
i forgive myself for allowing myself to give meaning to certain things that i do or can or could do, for instance, writing self forgiveness, speaking to people, speaking to bernard, talking to people about self forgiveness, making a video, making a blog, writing on the forum, eating, sleeping, etc
i forgive myself for allowing myself to give meaning to the thoughts other beings might possibly have about me
i forgive myself for allowing myself to give meaning to the feelings other beings might possibly have about me
i forgive myself for allowing myself to give meaning to my own thoughts about beings, situations, things, etc
i forgive myself for allowing myself to give meaning to my own feelings about beings, situations, things, etc
i forgive myself for allowing myself to give meaning to my past
i forgive myself for allowing myself to give meaning to my memories
i forgive myself for allowing myself to give meaning to my dreams
i forgive myself for allowing myself to give meaning to music
i forgive myself for allowing myself to give meaning to my body
i forgive myself for allowing myself to give meaning to the way i look
i forgive myself for allowing myself to give meaning to other beings experiences and life stories
i forgive myself for allowing myself to give meaning to my parents
i forgive myself for allowing myself to give meaning to my friends
i forgive myself for allowing myself to give meaning to words
i forgive myself for allowing myself to give meaning to implications
i forgive myself for allowing myself to give meaning to things that other beings give meaning to because i feel like i have to respect other beings in their principles thoughts and emotions and feelings
i forgive myself for allowing myself to give meaning to the illusion that is the mind consciousness system
i forgive myself for allowing myself to imply things when i speak to beings
i forgive myself for allowing myself to mean things when i speak to beings
i forgive myself for allowing myself to give meaning to touch
i forgive myself for allowing myself to give meaning to pictures of naked beings
i forgive myself for allowing myself to give meaning to things i said to beings in the past
i forgive myself for allowing myself to give meaning to things i did in the past
i forgive myself for allowing myself to want to give meaning to the future
which does not exist
i forgive myself for allowign myself to want to give meaning and purpose to the moment, to want to think that i am doing something that will amount to something
i forgive myself for allowing myself to give meaning to money
i forgive myself for allowing myself to give meaning to animals
i forgive myself for allowing mysefl to give meaning to death
i forgive myself for allowing myself to give meaning to sensations
i forgive myself for allowing myself to give meaning to what other beings say or do
i forgive myself for not allowing myself to simply be here by defining everything and by wanting to define things and myself and other beings
i forgive myself for allowing myself to give meaning to fear by wanting to avoid it and by reacting to it with more fear
meaning is illusion
tillhere and no further:
i am here
i m not ment to be
i am myself and i accept myself
i cannot be anything or anyone else than me here
there are no experiences no past or future all is here as me
noting matters nothing is important
i am stable and constant as breath