2014 Facebook Unfriending and Changing Feeling Rejected in Real-Time

 

 2014 Facebook Unfriending and Changing Feeling Rejected in Real-Time

How I Changed an Experience of Rejection in A Moment

Someone unfriended me on Facebook a while ago and only today did I come to realize this and it was interesting to see what kind of reactions came up within me. When I say 'someone',  I am here referring to a person who was  a big part of my life when I was little, someone who I actually haven't seen in a very long time and even though our lives grew apart and we have become 'different people', my reaction to finding out that she 'unfriended' me indicated that there was still a big part of me which defined itself according to the relationship that I had created in my memories with this individual.

I went into a form of a shock when I saw that the little box on her Facebook profile which used to say 'friend' now said 'add friend'. I mean it wasn't like a big emotional shock, but it was there, that reaction of 'oh my god I can't believe it'. The shock being the experience of rejection, loss and anger, because clearly somewhere in my subconscious mind the thought of this person still seeing my Facebook posts and in that way still kind of being a part of who I am and my life, was keeping certain memories of my childhood relationship with her 'alive'.

In that moment of seeing my reaction, I felt surprised because since the time we were friends and since we 'parted ways', I have come a long way of changing as an individual, have 'lost' certain friendships and relationships along the way and I believed that I had 'made peace' with my life as it is now, the people in it and the things that have happened.  But this reaction of shock showed me that it is easy to create ideas and beliefs about yourself in your mind as long as your world stays relatively stable and 'the same', but then when things start to shift and change - that is when your reactions to situations and events will show you who you really are inside and what has been going on in the background (in the subconscious mind) all along.

I have experienced the same kind of 'shock' in the past when I perceived that someone  was 'rejecting' me or that I was losing them or had lost a person in my life whom I had defined as 'my friend' or 'family' and how I used to deal with those kind of experiences  is that I would just kind of let time 'heal the wound' and so basically allow the emotional experiences of shock, rejection, feeling left behind, sadness and inferiority to 'settle' over time. But this wasn't a very pleasant approach to handling and dealing with my emotions because it is kind of making the choice to 'live with' the emotions and to continue suffering until the suffering stops by itself.

This time however I had the tool of applying self-forgiveness to assist me in moving through and releasing the emotional experiences in one moment and stabilizing myself in relation to this situation. This self-forgiveness which I applied in that moment I will share at the bottom of this blog. By speaking the self-forgiveness and releasing the emotions, I could see deeper into my own mind and to where it actually was that my reactions were coming from.

I could see clearly that within my subconscious mind I have still in slight moments throughout my day, for instance each time I posted something on Facebook, been  secretly thinking about how specific people whom I know to be my 'friends' on Facebook - people who used to be a part of my life when I was younger and who are still part of my memories - would react to my posts and what kind of opinion or idea they would form in their minds about me. And what I realized is that each time I allowed myself to access those type of secret thoughts in the back of my mind, I was busy keeping those 'relationships' which essentially only exist within my own mind 'alive'.

So in the 'who I am' in my mind, which would be my thoughts and the emotional/feeling experience of myself, I was still very much defining myself according to the relationships that I had created with specific individuals who used to be part of my life but actually haven't been in a very long time, simply by giving attention to these seemingly 'small' and 'innocent' ponderings about how they would see, perceive and judge me based on my Facebook posts that they might come across from time to time.

And, because I was still subconsciously keeping the 'relationship' with those people 'alive' by the simple act of consistently accessing thoughts, feelings and emotions connected to images, memories and pictures of them in my mind and forming my own 'idea' and 'image' of myself based on and according to my projections of what 'they' might be thinking of me - this is why I reacted emotionally with an experience of suddenly something being 'missing' or having 'lost' something in my life when I realized that one of those 'relationships' had 'cut ties' with me through unfriending me on Facebook.

What was fascinating is that just with me realizing or rather thinking that they will no longer see my Facebook posts and they will thus no longer be thinking about me or forming opinions and ideas about me, which was already in itself an assumption and idea that I had created in my mind without any 'evidence' that this was in fact what was happening, it felt as though I was losing a part of myself and I was becoming emotionally distraught. But I mean, the thought that this friend or 'former friend' was seeing my posts and was thinking all sorts of things about me wasn't actually real to begin with, it was a fabrication in my own mind that was based on my own want, need and desire to keep certain memories alive and keep my idea of 'who I am' according to the primary relationships that I have formed throughout my life 'alive'.

So basically all this time, even though I have consciously believed myself to have 'let go of the past' and 'moved on' as many things in my world and my life have changed, I have created new relationships and I am surrounded by different people in my life as it currently is , I had actually been hiding an unwillingness inside of myself to truly let go of the past and to give myself a chance to truly start again and create new relationships with people that are actually part of my life as in my daily participation with the world around me.

Only this time, a point that very clearly needs to be corrected if I want to start focusing on those 'new relationships' however, is my definition of what 'relationships' are, because it is simply not functional or healthy when my 'relationships' are with fictions of my own imagination based on memories of my 'former self' and a reluctance to let go of the past and of 'who I used to be'. Functional and healthy relationships should be based on actual reality such as for instance the people that I can see around me, people that I actually talk to and interact with on a real physical level. And this 'physical level' doesn't necessarily mean that I have to be able to touch them physically, it merely means that there cannot exist any pictures, images or projections in my mind constituting or defining those relationships. A relationship shouldn't be a memory or a thought, it should be an action, for instance the action of talking to someone or spending time with someone because that is what is real. Anything that exists in the mind that isn't based on fact, cannot be trusted because it simply isn't real.

So please don't misunderstand what I am saying here. I am not saying that Facebook relationships aren't real or valid. Communicating and talking to someone over Facebook is just as real and valid as communicating with someone while being physically together. What isn't real or valid however is for instance spending time thinking about those 'relationships' outside of those real moments of actual communication, because that is when real relationships become mind-relationships and you start disconnecting yourself from reality. When people become images and thoughts in your head because you are wondering about what they think of you or how they see and perceive you, then you are creating a mind-relationship and thus a false relationship.

The correction process of this dysfunctional and unhealthy definition of what relationships are and how I have always lived relationships  would be the application of writing about it, the spoken and written self-forgiveness and the writing out of and looking at how to start stopping myself from creating 'mind-relationships' and rather invest myself in creating and nurturing 'reality/real relationships' - which is what this blog is a testament of. Then it is just a matter of 'walking the talk' which means that those moments wherein I am tempted to go into memory and wonder about what my childhood friends would think of me will come up again in my mind because that is just how I have over time conditioned my mind to 'operate', so then instead of accepting those thoughts as 'real' and as a part of who I am, I rather take a step back and ground myself in the physical reality of the moment and so align myself with reality.

The Following is an expansion on the Self-Forgiveness statements that I spoke in the moment when the emotional reaction came up and which assisted me to release the reaction plus added self-commitment statements wherein I script the 'new program' and definition of 'relationships' that I commit to live from here on out.

Self-Forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to seeing that X has unfriended me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take X unfriending me personally by reacting emotionally to the thought that X has 'cut me out of her life' and 'rejected me'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within and as how I think and believe X perceives and defines me, as someone that she does not want to be friends with and so someone who is less than her and who she doesn't think is good enough to be her friend --- by experiencing inferiority within myself connected with a thought that I am less than X because that is what she thinks of me -- instead of taking responsibility for the fact that who and how I think X to be is a projection that I have created in my own mind and that thus how I think and believe she sees, perceives and judges me is in fact how I think about, see and perceive myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define X as a part of my life and a part of myself because of the friendship relationship that I have created with her in my childhood and how I had defined who I am within and as that relationship

And so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need X in my life - if not physically, then mentally within and as the thought that she still reads my posts on Facebook, to be able to be 'myself' and 'complete' because she is part of my memories and because I have defined myself within and as and according to my memories

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want and expect my world and the people in it and my relationships to stay the same or similar to how it was in my memories because of having defined myself within and as my memories and so believing that if my world changes, then I will not be able to exist  within and as those memories anymore because I will also have to change and so won't be 'myself' anymore

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if my world were to change, and if I were to 'lose' specific people in my physical world and reality, that I would not be able to exist anymore - instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that this belief and experience only shows the extent to which I have defined myself within and as the mind as relationships that exist within and upon memories

I forgive myself that I have never accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that my memories are information and that if I believe that I need my memories to be 'myself' and that thus my world and reality must remain the same according to my memories, then that implies that I have accepted myself to be a system of information, instead of an actual life-force that exist within and as the moment of breath

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that the image and idea that I have of X is information in my mind that is based on memories that I have stored  - and that those memories in itself are also based on preprogrammed information that was already existent within my mind --- and that thus the image that I have of X in my mind, is entirely my own creation

And so I forgive myself that I have not taken responsibility for this image and idea and memory that I have stored in my mind of X, by having separated myself from my memories of X by creating a relationship with those memories, based on the belief and idea that I need X in my life and I need her to be my friend so that I can be 'myself' --- instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that this belief of 'needing her' implies that I have suppressed a part of myself and that thus even with 'having her in my life', I would still feel like there is something missing within myself

I forgive myself that I have never accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that the mind has a tendency to create a onedimensional perception of memories by defining certain memories as positive, wherein I will not actually see how I really experienced myself in those actual moments because I am looking at my own memories through the perception of the mind as feelings rather than seeing who I really am within and as those memories, and see, realize and understand that within those actual moments I didn't experience myself nearly as 'positive' as my mind likes to make it seem

So I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my mind to define my memories, by experiencing certain memories within and as a positive feeling experience of nostalgia as a belief and idea that 'everything was better in the past' - instead of standing one and equal with my memories and seeing that when I was in those actual moments in 'the past', I didn't experience myself as only 'positive' , in fact I mostly experienced myself as negative  - which is what the mind suppresses when I look back on my memories to create the illusion that I have to hold on to my memories and that somehow my memories are 'good' and that I need my memories to be 'good' and to be a good/positive version of myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to search for positive experiences within my memories and to believe that I must hold on to my memories to experience myself positively - and that I have within that separated myself from my mind and from the memories that exist within my mind, by searching for something 'more' within myself, instead of standing one and equal with my real memories as the actual experience of myself in 'the past', which was not at all 'positive' but in fact mostly negative and emotionally charged

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that the positive experience that I feel towards my memories doesn't have anything to do with the actual memories themselves, and that the past wasn't actually 'better' or 'positive' or 'good' - but that in fact, how I experienced myself when I was younger was mostly negative and emotional, and that I actually only started focusing more on generating and experiencing positive feelings as I grew older, which is why I am now seeing my memories in a 'positive' light and am now connecting positive experiences to my memories, so that I can experience myself positively and in fact suppress the actual negative experiences that were my actual real experiences in those moments

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that my fear of losing those memories isn't actually a fear of losing the real moments that surpassed and that I experienced but it is a fear of losing the positive feeling energy that I have within my mind connected with those memories and wherein I have made the memories seem 'more' than what they actually are, and thus have made 'myself' seem 'more' than who I actually am

I forgive myself that I have never accepted and allowed myself to take responsibility for myself as the creator of my memories by accepting and defining myself within and as the idea and belief that I need my memories to be myself, and by not seeing, realizing and understanding that what I actually want and 'need' is the positive feeling energy that I have connected with my so-called 'memories'

And so I forgive myself that I have never accepted and allowed myself to investigate why and how it is that I want, need and desire this positive experience that I have defined my memories within and why and how it is that I have connected this positive energetic charge to the 'memories' stored in my mind -- and that I have thus never seen, realized and understood that this desire, need and want for a positive experience is in fact a consequence of the negatively charged experiences within myself that I don't want to deal with or face and my fear of those negatively charged internal experiences

So I forgive myself that I have never accepted and allowed myself to take responsibility for the negatively charged experiences that exist within myself and that were the actual real experiences that I went through within the real actual moments in the past, by trying to suppress and hide those real negative experiences under a positive experience connected with the idea and the belief that 'things were better in the past'

Self-Corrective Statements

When and as I see myself 'reminiscing'  or experiencing a feeling of 'nostalgia' in my mind wherein I access memories of a person, connected with a belief, idea and experience that in the past everything was better/nicer/positive, or I see myself going into an experience of missing the past and 'how things were' or regretting that I have lost certain people - then I stop and breathe - and I see, realize and understand that I am looking at 'apparent' memories in my mind through the eyes of the mind, wherein  the memory that I am seeing as a picture as well as the feeling experience connected to it, is not the actual memory as how those moments in the past in fact unfolded and how I really experienced myself, but is a 'veil' that I have constructed and created to be able to suppress and hide those actual real experiences that I went through in those moments

And so, I see, realize and understand that those pictures in my mind that I call 'memories' are not in fact my real memories and thus are not in fact 'who I am' because they are fabrications of the mind as a system of energy which I have used to not have to take responsibility for myself and to not actually face all of the negatively charged experiences that I have experienced when I was younger

And so I see, realize and understand that the experience of fear of losing 'myself' if I were to lose specific people in my world and reality of which I have stored 'memories' in my mind, connected with positively charged feeling experiences, is not actually real because those 'memories' that I have in my mind of this person or these people is in fact a construct of the mind that I use to hide and suppress the reality of how I experienced myself in those moments -- which was never as onedimensional, limited and 'positive' as depicted in the images in my so-called 'memory'

So I commit myself to not hide or suppress who I really am within myself and the experiences that really exist within myself, and thus commit myself to not use the mind-construct of 'memories' in separation of myself and connected with onedimensional feeling experiences to suppress and hide that reality of myself which is in fact negatively charged

And so I commit myself to be honest with myself about what Is really going on within myself and so not simply trust that the onedimensional pictures and feelings of my 'memories' that come up in the mind are 'real' and are 'who I am' - but rather I commit myself to investigate what negatively charged experiences I am actually trying to hide and suppress behind these 'memory-depictions', so that I can get to realizing the reality of myself and of life as myself and stop existing within and as the lie that 'the past was better' or that life is somehow positive --- because I see, realize and understand that any positive feelings are always only based on pictures and images in the mind that I have in fact deliberately created as a veil so that I wouldn't see that how I have actually always really experienced myself throughout my life, was within and as negatively charged emotional experiences

Dr. Wayne Dyer Watch your Words!

"Your past history and all of your hurts are no longer here in your physical reality. Don't allow them to be here in your mind, muddying your present moments. Your life is like a play with several acts. Some of the characters who enter have short roles to play, others, much longer. But all are necessary, otherwise they wouldn't be in the play. Embrace them all, and move on to the next act." ~Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

Dr. Wayne W. Dyer is an internationally renowned author and speaker in the field of self-development, and this is a statement that I have plucked off his Facebook page, where he frequently posts random statements such as this one - which are then supported by thousands of comments of people that follow his posts, that are mostly all along the lines of "I appreciate you sharing your wisdom with me and all others...know you inspire me because what you say makes sense,,,we all need sense in our life...thanks", "Just like as you read my feelings :)", "Wow! Great words of wisdom! I ♥ u", etc... to quote but a few of the many words of praise to our good doctor Dyer that so skillfully seems to be able to pluck our heartstrings and make us feel as though his words are the 'one and only truth'.

Though I am going to take this blog and this time to take but one random quote from him and actually investigate what he said in his words and what his words actually imply - because there is a thing that I have learned about the human mind, which is that we will never listen to the words of a song when somehow the tune has struck an 'inner cord' that make us feel all warm and fuzzy inside, resulting in the human singing the words over and over again like a robot, just for the sake of how the tune makes us feel, slowly but surely brainwashing itself into living out these words without ever even noticing a thing.

If one were to scratch the surface of the above quote by Dr. Dyer, one would see that most likely the reason why so many like to believe that he is 'telling the truth' and is 'spreading wisdom' that makes us feel so good inside, is because within his words he offers a nice excuse for us to not take any responsibility for ourselves.


Have a look at what he says after mentioning what so many beings struggle with, which is themselves, their past, their history, their memories of pain, loss, sadness, anger, regret, shame and fear:

"Your life is like a play with several acts. Some of the characters who enter have short roles to play, others, much longer. But all are necessary, otherwise they wouldn't be in the play. Embrace them all, and move on to the next act."

Translated, this is the same as saying:

"You are in no way responsible for the mess that you have made of yourself and your life, of the feelings and emotions you experience within yourself and the regret that you experience - so for the sake of bullshitting yourself into believing that, just tell yourself that there is a 'divine force' that is directing your life, you are here to just 'enjoy the ride' and obviously you should never question why there has to be a 'ride' in the first place or why you should even be directed instead of you directing you. Never ever question yourself or this reality.

Never stop within yourself and face what you have created in your life - just 'turn the page' as if nothing happened and make yourself believe that 'if you just close your eyes, it isn't there anymore' as if that isn't the exact same infantile reasoning that we so often make fun of when we see a baby doing that. Remain a slave of your own life, directed by the 'characters' and 'acts' that apparently get sent your way, blaming God for not taking care of your life when things are not going according to how you want the 'movie' of your life to go - but hey, when you're buying Dr. Dyers books and going to his seminars, that must mean that you've got enough money to support the illusion that God loves you and that your life is a Hollywood movie with you as the star."


Consider for a moment that he is a 'Doctor', a 'Phd.', a 'counselor', someone that has a degree in 'telling people what is going on here', and all that he is clearly doing is telling people what they like to hear instead of what they need to hear. In no way is this taking any responsibility for anything but his own wallet, which, lets face it, is the only thing all and any doctors have ever really been doing. There has never been anyone in this world, and especially not those that are waving their certificates, degrees and Phd.'s around as apparent 'proof' of the value of their words, that has ever taken any responsibility for anything - otherwise we would not be so easily played by pretty words like this as we would not be so desperate to feel good about ourselves and this world. Because the truth is that there is nothing 'good' about this world. So no wonder that the ones who make the most money in this world are the ones who are the best at packaging and selling us the lie, the deception of 'positive feelings'.



Investigate Desteni if you are ready to stop bullshitting yourself with 'wise words' that have no real value what so ever and that only aim to further support the illusion that the wealthy of this world desire to get lost in - This world is not a Hollywood movie!!! Your life isn't either and the sooner you realize that all the beings in this reality begging for our attention daily are not 'characters' but actual beings just like you and me, the sooner we can stand up and direct this world to become a place where all can enjoy life unconditionally.

2012 Anu the Reptilian God

This is the story of Anu - the Creator of humanity. The instigator of all that we know today as our experience of what 'life' is.

Anu was of the Reptilian Race and in this interview he shares his experience of himself when he was 'younger' with regards to existence - which was at that time already separated and fragmented, which turned out to be obvious as not only Anu acted out of selfishness by creating his 'Kingdom' and using all other beings, but also every other being in existence that has allowed itself to be seduced into 'becoming a part of this Kingdom of humanity'.

So, how was he able to create humanity as this manifested prison of separation?

What was life like before the emergence of Humanity, wherein all life in existence came together in this one form and this one earth?

Where did our Creator come from and what was his Starting Point in creating the Human being?

Discover this fascinating interview made by our Creator himself - and especially discover that there is in essence no creator and that we are here in this mess Alone Together, with no savior, no God, no 'supreme being', no 'divine answer or force' to save, help or rescue us - because Anu was essentially just a being that created a certain creation from the starting point of his personal experience, unaware of himself as Oneness and Equality.

Discover Our Creator Anu in his teenage years, as he grew up in existence and what lead him to consider taking control of existence as 'His Creation'.

Discover what it would be like to stand in the shoes of God - as the realization to have all of existence within yourself, within one being, to stand as the one point where everything comes together and ask yourself 'What would you do? Would you not do what ever it takes to hold on to that ultimate experience of absolute power that is in essence the most all-encompassing experience there exist?'


An important issue that is being discussed in this and in the following interviews of Anu is the question of 'Are we really aware of ourselves?' 'Are we really the directive principle of ourselves here within and as existence?' 'Are we aware of ourselves as existence itself?' and 'Do we even really know where we come from?' - because even Anu as the apparent 'God of existence' had to realize that what he created, who he had become, all that he experienced and every decision that he made in his 'life' was in a way pre-determined as all was merely an outflow of certain experiences of which he never really understood where it all came from as he had just accepted it as 'himself', just like how we are existing at this point.


Another interesting subject Anu takes a look at within his interviews is the concept of 'Birth and Death' as to why it exist and who we are within and as it and how this point of 'recycling' as birth and death has been directing us since the beginning of our existence - and especially why it is imperative that we now for the first time in existence stop ourselves and realize what is here and who we are as here - before it is too late. Before we have literally consumed all and everything that is here on this planet and destroyed it and ourselves and wasted every chance at ever finding out who we are here as life.

enjoy the Interview, I know I did.

2012 Introduction to Self-Forgiveness - Realizing Self as Life

In the beginning of the year 2008 I discovered Desteni and the Process of self-forgiveness. I initially felt attracted to their website because of the portal video's that I watched on Youtube, which I felt were very peculiar and intriguing.

Quickly I learned about this 'self-forgiveness' process as what Desteni was in fact all about. All their video's of Sunette channeling various different beings and manifestations were cool and interesting, but if one watch the video's, one would realize that the message of every being communicating through the portal always comes down to pretty much the same thing - which is the process of self-forgiveness and that the human must stop the mind and become aware of itself as life. And this was actually quite cool, that the dimensions from Hitler to a fly on the wall to Kurt Cobain spoke as one, with one message - which differs substantially from what I am used to in this world of millions of different human beings, all with their own personal message about what is apparently 'real' and 'the truth' -- it tends to get confusing.

And that was pretty much the mind-set that I was experiencing myself in/as when and before I found Desteni, one of confusion as it seemed clear to me that according to humanity there is no one answer to life, to what is going on in this world - though it is clear that something is going on, something really fishy is going on. Yet, each being in my environment and throughout the world would have their own personal answer about what the problems are and what the solutions are - and each one would talk about them as though what they are saying is the one true answer.

The fascinating and intriguing thing about Desteni that appealed to me very much was that they would share what they realized about what is going on in reality, but they would urge all to come to those realizations for themselves through applying the process of self-forgiveness, as they had done themselves. And that is why I decided to give self-forgiveness a try - because I realized and knew instantly that this is probably the closest thing I will ever get to finding out what is real for myself, which is by doing it for myself, finding out for myself.

There did come a point where I was faced with these paranoid thoughts and fears within myself of Desteni possibly being a cult as what I had heard many beings in my direct and indirect environment say about Desteni - but I quickly realized that the 'cult-point' basically has to do with a desire to belong with a group and to give my power away to a group that existed within myself, which I had actually been doing my entire life and I realized that the only way to make absolutely sure that I am not part of a cult is to stop these desires within myself by forgiving them and to stand alone within and as myself, within full awareness of who I am here.

Self-forgiveness is a tool to be used alone, in the alone-ness of myself, and really doesn't have anything to do with Desteni. In applying self-forgiveness is where I take the time to look within myself at who I am as what exist within myself of thoughts, feelings and emotions. It is fascinating to realize now how unaware I was back then of myself - by for instance never even noticing these thoughts, feelings and emotions within myself, never even considering to look at them and ask myself 'Where does all this stuff come from?' and 'Is this really me?', as I had always accepted this 'inner hidden reality' as 'normal' and 'who I am' while at the same time not even knowing anything about myself as to how I got the way I was and why I was experiencing myself the way I was.

The one point that makes the application of self-forgiveness stick out from and kick but of all other 'self-help' methods or spiritual guidance, messages and practices with regards to changing oneself, is the point of self-responsibility. As this is the one point that I found to be crucial in my process of self-change. There are many things about myself that I have throughout my life always accepted as 'who I am', for instance certain emotional experiences towards my family and friends, most of which I experienced unconsciously (so I wasn't even directly aware of actually experiencing myself as such) - that I have been able to simply stop only by realizing my self-responsibility through applying self-forgiveness. And this is something that I never considered even possible as I had already believed myself to be 'unchangeable' and thus in a way a victim of myself as my inner experiences.

So, how does that work? When one applies self-forgiveness, one actually says "I realize and place myself as the point of God/creator of myself and thus responsible for how I experience myself and I forgive myself for what I have done unto myself through thoughts, feelings and emotions and thus set myself free from the belief that I am 'but a victim of God/Creator/Creation' and give myself a chance to stand up as a new being". This is a direct 'self-communication' - 'indirect self-communication' would then be like thoughts that simply run rampantly through ones mind dictating ones every move without self even being remotely aware of where these thoughts come from.

With self-forgiveness as direct self-communication, one takes responsibility for what one allows to exist within oneself and what not. This is why the point of 'writing out the thought patterns, feelings and emotional experiences' in self-honesty is so important, as one firstly needs to become aware of what it is that actually exist within self - because as long as these thoughts and experiences remain hidden, they are not seen and thus not considered and realized as what is in fact driving and directing self within the existence of self here in reality.

Self Responsibility enables Self-Change

Through having applied self-forgiveness since 2008 - with a few years where I did not participate (see my vlog 'How I fell in Process and stood back up' that I made on this point) - I eventually realized what it is 'all about', which is that one singular point of taking/realizing self-responsibility, because whenever I would apply self-forgiveness on a certain point (=belief system/self-experience) within myself, the point wherein I would actually be able to release this point and truly change myself would be when/where I realized how I had always been personally responsible for the creation of this point within myself, no matter what it was.

And the only way to actually 'reach' this point of realizing self-responsibility is through applying self-forgiveness as the direct self-communication of making it clear to self that 'I see what exist within myself and I take responsibility for it here and now', which we start to do with all our conscious thoughts and work our way 'down' from there, peeling off layer by layer of the entire mind-construct.

Initially, in the beginning of my process - I would just write self-forgiveness lists about everything and anything, and I actually really enjoyed it. I enjoyed the fact that for once in my life I could be honest with myself as to what actually exist within myself, I enjoyed being able to write down the thoughts, memories and experiences that I had always kept hidden within the belief that they are 'bad' and should thus not be spoken or written, that in fact I should hide them within myself from the rest of the world and exist forever more in fear of human beings finding out what actually exist inside of myself as all those hidden thoughts. I knew in my gut that this is the real deal, this is how it should have always been, which is brutal self-honesty, not being afraid to look myself in the eyes and being able to stand in the face of all that exist within myself without shame, guilt or regret.

A major point for me wherein I have changed substantially within the process of self-forgiveness, is self-trust - I have calmed down a lot since the beginning of my process (which is really visible in my vlog-timeline) as I learned to trust myself more and more in taking responsibility for my inner experiences through getting to know myself and becoming aware of how I created myself into who I became as the mind.

Humanity and the Process of Self-Forgiveness

This is why self-forgiveness is the only way through which the human being will ever change into a respectful being that is able to take responsibility for its existence here on earth - because as long as we do not face ourselves in self-honesty, look ourselves in the eyes and take responsibility for ourselves through realizing who we are and how we got this way, no real change is possible and humanity will forever more remain lost looking for answers - eventually destroying itself and earth as it finds itself to not be able to co-exist in a 'peaceful' way with earth and the animal kingdom due to not even being aware of itself as life, as the creator, as 'God'.

There are no excuses for our unawareness, because at the moment we are literally robots taking orders from our own thoughts that come from 'God-knows-where', trying to find a way to 'manage' and 'control' ourselves and this world, trying to find an escape from our fears, stress and frustrations - and all the while claiming that we apparently have 'free-choice', when really how can that be when we're not even aware of who we are and how we got the way we are. How can freedom exist without self-awareness?!

And the ones who are suffering the most of our unawareness is nature, animals and children - which then backfires on all of us again as we don't even realize that we need nature and animals to survive and we need our children to become responsible human beings that manage earth in a respectful, dignified and responsible way - which is at this point not the case as we who teach them are definitely not the living example of what is best for life here.


So, I would definitely suggest the process of self-forgiveness to all who read this - old or young, male or female, because we are all here on this one planet, therefore we must all become aware of our presence here, of who we are as one and equal to life so that we may direct this reality to become a heaven on earth for all living beings one and equal with ourselves!

2012 Is Inner Peace the answer to life?

"May inner peace flow wherever it is needed and specially to those of us who fear our parents and so it is." (quote from spiritual person)

"This is an example of the ineffective bullshit way spiritual people handle what they refuse to take responsibility for and what they refuse to understand and investigate and what they refuse to confront to stop.

This type of allowances will hold us captive to the ego as consciousness forever unless we confront our self deception and bring an end to this through a dedicated practical real self transformation through self honest self forgiveness to make sure the accumulative effect of part in the world is always what is best for all and that we realize we must expect the same from all other beings or we will be the slaves to their whims and believes and abuses through allowing it. We have been warned throughout time that the sins of the fathers are visited upon the children and thus upon the world, but under the disguise of love we do nothing to stop the spread of sin as social disease making love a social disease as well. Remember – self honesty is the most difficult thing you will ever face as it will be your own self deception as the part you play in the mess as civilization that you will confront and must change if you ever want to become a real living being." ~ Bernard Poolman

‘Inner peace’, ‘awareness’, ‘the power of now’, ‘mindfulness’ attained through meditation or various exercises seems to be today’s answer to the apparent ‘unrest’, stress and negative/unpleasant inner experiences that the human being faces – and millions of beings gladly accept this as ‘the ultimate answer’, often even going as far as believing that the entire world will transform according to their ‘inner peaceful experience’ or that they will, through generating certain energies of love/positivity/peace, transcend this ‘earthly plane’ like Jesus to reach/obtain/attain ‘heaven’.

I must admit that I actually believed this as well – I use to be very much ‘into’ generating energy, expecting/believing/hoping that the energy will truly ‘lift me up’ and allow me to ‘amalgamate’ with the universe as pure love (which is how I understood ‘the universe’, based on various books I read and things I heard from ‘spiritual people), because that is what it felt like on the inside. On the inside through energy it felt as though I could go ‘higher’ and ‘greater’, and I really was experiencing ‘love’ and ‘compassion’ as these ‘energy waves’ that would flow through me, and it really did feel as though I could ‘send out’ these ‘love vibrations’ to others in the world – so therefore I believed that I could really change the world this way, I believed that I would reach ‘heaven’ this way as that is what it FELT like.

However there was also a part of me, waaay down within me, that was aware that what I was doing was not actually ‘real’. what do I mean with ‘real’? Sure the energy was ‘good’ and ‘nice’ and ‘positive’ and stuff, though I could see if I was really honest with myself that this was not REAL, because it was energetic experiences that I had been creating myself – I was doing all of it and I was merely experiencing my own self-created ‘vibrations’ of ‘love energy’, so what I was experiencing was myself though within denial and without the realization that it was in fact myself that I was experiencing. I basically pretended through believing that this energy that I was experiencing was ‘the universe’ or ‘something greater than myself’ – all the while evoking the energetic experience myself from the starting point of my desire to ‘experience a greater power’.

Through a process of applying self forgiveness within self-honesty – I could face myself in this, confront myself as what I had been allowing myself to participate in, which is the pretense that these energetic experiences that were ‘flowing over/through me’ where from a ‘greater source’ and not simply created by myself, because I WANTED to believe/feel/experience that there was in fact ‘something greater than myself’.

“Remember – self honesty is the most difficult thing you will ever face as it will be your own self deception as the part you play in the mess as civilization that you will confront and must change if you ever want to become a real living being.”

Indeed, facing/confronting myself is not easy – to stand in the face of myself and the liar/self-deceiver that I had become was not easy, though for the first time I could see that this is REAL. I actually realized that everything that gives me a ‘positive’/’nice’ feeling about myself or the world, is always self-created by me deliberately to not face myself as the world in fact and to be able to believe and get lost in this experience of ‘some greater power/entity’, while that which is REAL has got nothing to do with how I feel, let alone the positive feelings. In fact, I saw how I had been blatantly ignoring/suppressing/denying that which is actually real within existing in these self-evoked experiences of ‘love’, ’positivity’ and ‘peace’ wherein it feels/seems as though I have power over the world through my ‘vibrations’.

I realized that the energetic experiences of ‘love’, ‘peace’, ‘harmony’ and ‘positivity’ are of Ego – as they only serve the ‘peace of mind’ that is actually all self-directed by desiring a certain experience. My personal desires of how I would like/want to experience myself actually have no place in the REAL world, because in the real world I am actually not the center most important point of the universe – I exist HERE along side with all of existence that is HERE.

And all this ‘love’, ‘peace’ and ‘positivity’ has got nothing to do with actual caring for existence because it is all still based on ‘inner experiences’ based on personal preference and desires – therefore with love, peace, understanding and positive vibrations we will never truly change the world into an actual heaven for all living beings. Because if we’re not even willing to face our self-deception and to realize our responsibility towards ourselves as who we are here and how we experience ourselves by believing that ‘a greater power’ is making me experience this energy, then how could we possibly take responsibility for all life that exist here.

It takes guts, time and effort to investigate ourselves and the world as what is really going on here – and to stop the ego that we have allowed ourselves to become so that we my stand up as actual living beings within and as what is REAL, one and equal with reality.

And frankly, if we’re really honest with ourselves – it would be an illusion/lie to believe that change (inner as well as outer) will happen through good feelings because if we have a look at this world and at our own past, it is clear that we have made a mess of it. Therefore it should be common sense that we first have to walk backwards through the mess to face what we have created as our own life and this world, forgive ourselves for what we have created and then correct ourselves to make sure that we never create it again. And that is what it means to truly take responsibility.

If you are ready to get real and face yourself as existence, then Desteni is the place where you will find the necessary support and tools to get started on your process of walking backwards through self-forgiveness within self-honesty.

Also check out an Equal Money System as the physical platform that will be implemented to give every being on earth a chance at change.